Daily Archives: December 17, 2011

Not on my list …

I was in a toy store recently, when the clerk handed a plastic bag containing a toy to the woman in front of me, and said “Thank you, Merry Christmas” to the woman.

To my surprise, she did NOT say “Your Welcome!”  She did not respond “Merry Christmas to you too!”  Nor did she say “Have a good day!” as required in retail nowadays.

Nope, she collapsed onto one knee and said “Thank the Lord.”

“Oh sweet Jesus,” I thought.

Her husband glared at me as if to say in a very Christian way:   “You wanna make something out of it?”

I shook my head, and proceeded to pay for the toy I was buying.  I didn’t thank God for it, because I don’t really think that God cares if I bought my new nephew the Spot book or the one with the fuzzy pages.

Nope, I thanked the clerk for helping me and went on to my next errand.

I didn’t fall to my knees to thank God.  I have a bad knee.

But this morning I was wondering what toy was so hard to come by that it resulted in prayer.  So of course, I Googled.  And was I surprised at what I found.

I didn’t find the “Tickle me Elmo” shortage this year.  Nope, nothing of the sort.  Toys all seem to be in good supply.

But I did find that one place of business is offering a different slant on Christmas this year.  It’s in Chicago, so you won’t be finding me there this year.  OR MY HUSBAND.

You see, The Admiral Theatre, a strip club, is offering a free lap dance for anyone bringing in a new, unwrapped gift to be donated to charity.

Do you think all the girls wear Santa hats beards? More importantly, are they fat and jolly?

I bet there is a man or two who would get down on his knees to pray for that.



Filed under Family, Humor, Stupidity