Category Archives: Maine

Hertz — Donut

It’s been about 50 years since I said “yes” when somebody (probably my brother, Fred) asked me if I wanted a “knuckle sammich.”

It had been nearly as long since I said “yes” when somebody (probably my brother, Fred) asked me if I wanted a “Hertz Donut.”

It’s important to note that Fred was nowhere to be found when this happened.  So I can’t blame him.

In fact, I don’t recall actually being asked “Do you want a Hertz Donut.”  Nope.  I didn’t hear it coming.  But I got hit anyway.  Me and John did, actually.

Hertz Donut

You see, we flew up here to Maine to check on the repair work to our little cottage up here that was damaged in a fire.

We used our United Airlines frequent flier miles to pay for most of the ticket.  John noticed that they also offered a special deal on rental cars with prepayment.  Hertz!  Located right there in the Portland airport, not a zillion miles and a schleppy shuttlebus ride away.  Plus, the cost was the same as the other car rental companies.

Great!  Yes, I’d love a Hertz, ummmm, rental car.

But neither of us signed on for a Hertz Donut.

Still, that’s exactly what we got.  And it Hertz right in the wallet.

We got to the extremely convenient counter, gave our names and began our transaction.  John pulled out his drivers’ license, and I pulled out mine.

“That’ll be $13.99 per day for a second driver,” said the clerk, a bit sheepishly.

“Excuse me?” John and I said, both our mouths hanging open in shock.   “There’s never a charge for an extra charge for a spouse to drive a rental car.”

“There is with Hertz’ promotion with United,” responded the clerk,  apologetically.  (It wasn’t her fault, we knew that.  She was just doing her job.  So we groused politely, and not at her.)

We had pre-paid for our car, non-refundable, natch.  And we needed two drivers because we were doing all kinds of household chores.

We were not happy.  We had never had to pay extra for a second driver, let alone a spouse.  Have you?

An extra $100.  Hertz, Donut.

I don’t know about you, but I am really fed up with Corporations sticking their hand in my pocket.  Especially when they claim to be offering me a bloomin’ bargain.

Yup, and I'll make sure to go elsewhere from now on.

Yup, and I’ll make sure to go elsewhere from now on.

It makes me wanna give everybody at Hertz a knuckle sammich.

 

[All images are from Google, Natch.]

 

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Filed under Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Driving, Huh?, Humor, Maine, Stupidity

A Fiery Mystery in Maine

Dum Dum Dum, Dump Dump Da Dom

Dum Dum Dum Dump Da Dom

Storm Clouds Comin' In

Storm Clouds Comin’ In

There are some songs that shouldn’t leave the shower.

There are some songs you just don’t want to have stuck in your head.

There are some songs that you just don’t want to have become part of your life.

 

Smoke on The Water is one of them.

Our little retirement/vacation cottage in Maine caught fire in July.  Spontaneously combusted.  Burst into flame for no reason anybody has ever figured out.

We weren’t there.  Nobody was there, luckily.

Even more luckily, it burned just a little bit.  The nice part, naturally.  Not the kitchen which I would have been happy to replace.  Not the bathroom that has pink 60s tiles with cute pink fishies.  Nope.

The nice part by the living room burned – the picture window that overlooks my masthead and “No Point.” [That’s the bit of land in the picture that looks like the first point.   John dubbed it “No Point” because from our angle it looks like a little point, but it isn’t a point at all.]

Interior ceiling

And even more luckily, it happened at lunch time, when a guy who was renting a cottage across the cove was relaxing outside with a sandwich, noticed smoke and called the fire department.  The fire chief, a volunteer, was working construction two doors down.  He arrived within minutes and the damage was kept down to mere pain in the ass status, as opposed to total devastation.  So we are lucky.  Very lucky.

Volunteer Firemen -- Risking their lives

Volunteer Firemen — Risking their lives

Nobody can figure out what happened.  There were no bad wires, no combustibles in the attic.  No evidence of vandalism.  Nada.  A flamin’ mystery.

Danielle exterior roof

We are still trying to find the person who reported it, so we can thank him.  He was renting a house across the way, and we don’t yet know who he was or how we can get in touch with him.

So John and I up here in Maine, looking at a different angle, trying to get work going on our house.  And saying thank you to a whole lot of folks.

Special thanks to the firefighters who arrived so quickly and saved our cute little place.  And to the mystery man who saw it and saved it.

Huge thanks also Doug and Renee, who have done so much in the immediate aftermath and ever since.

To Danielle and to Ella for breaking the bad news.  To Annette and Danielle for the pictures.

Thanks to Bill and Ken and the other insurance folks who are helping us rebuild.

And I’m thanking my lucky stars that it wasn’t worse.

 

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Filed under Huh?, Maine, Music, Mysteries