I’ll Take a Free Vaginal Ultrasound!

You probably know that I love me a bargain. Some times, I just can’t resist. Cheap stuff. Buy one get one for 50% off! Two for the price of one! Seventy-two rolls of Charmin!

So when I heard that former Senator Jim DeMint (R-Shouldda Never Let Him Into Guv-ment-SC) talking about free ultrasounds on the TeeVee, well, I decided right then and there that a bargain is a bargain.

I want me an ultrasound.  A vaginal ultrasound.

The fact that I believe in keeping government out of my lady-parts should not get in the way of me getting free stuff.

The fact that I am not pregnant should not stand in the way of me getting free stuff.

The fact that I am post-menopausal should not stand in the way of me getting free stuff.

When something is free, well then I want one. Because it’s a bargain, right? For everybody.  Especially those folks who want to look in my vagina.  I imagine there is quite a line.

What’s everybody complaining about?


Photo courtesy of “FreakoutNation.com” courtesy of Google

Oh.  Maybe that.


Filed under Elections, Health and Medicine, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Science, Stupidity, Voting

55 responses to “I’ll Take a Free Vaginal Ultrasound!

  1. Unfortunately I can’t concentrate on Maddow’s words because she’s just that hot. she could give me a vaginal ultrasound any day. oh dear I did not just type that.


  2. Unreal – I paid full price for one of these – what a rip-off!


  3. I’m beginning to think that men really have vaginal envy. Freud was all wrong. All along it was the men with the psychoses because they wanted to have lady parts and never could, so they have to create legislation instead that gives them power over that which they can’t have themselves. Surely there are enough mental health professionals for these guys…They need psychiatrist couches, not seats in government. 😉


  4. OhMyAchin’… belly!!! You thought I was going to say vagina, didn’t you, funny woman LOL Hilariousness is what you are, love it!


  5. Every woman knows “the wand”. lol. Thanks for the laugh this morning!


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  7. After holding water for a couple hours to have an ultrasound, it was such a relief to be told I could urinate because they needed to do a vaginal ultrasound to diagnose a female problem.


  8. I love how barely controlled Rachel Maddow was in this discussion. I’ve actually had a vaginal ultrasound. It wasn’t free. I wasn’t pregnant. And I wasn’t excited about having it. So I figure if you’re in a situation where you’re not excited about being pregnant (say, after enduring some kind of sexual crime), you’d be totally stoked about having an ultrasonic wand inserted. Oh, wait – I just remembered. They let *me* insert it. Then they manipulated it after that. That made it much better.


    • I’ve had to have them too — when I’d been misdiagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian cancer and told to get my things in order. Mine wasn’t free either. I hope you got good news from yours.

      Yeah, Rachel Maddow was great. She often is,


      • I didn’t get any news from mine. Couldn’t see anything definitive. So it was all for naught. Fortunately the situation cleared on its own. Oh, the joys of womanhood. I’m glad you were MIS-diagnosed! Just for that- knock your things all out of order.


        • I’m glad I was mis-diagnosed too. But the experience was truly horrible. I should write about it. The doctor should have her tongue cut out, she was that bad.

          I’m due for a “Hey Doc” post. It’s been a while. Those are the only ones for which I’ve been Fresh Pressed. Of course, they aren’t my best …


  9. I think I’d like to quote Rachel Maddow here and say, “Wow.”


  10. How come “Free” and “Informed” and “Choice” don’t seem to be the same as “Mandated”.

    Is it me? It must be me. Where do they get their numbers? Just wondering.


    • I am having a hard time answering this comment due to technological difficulties. Hope I figure them out, but I make no promises.

      Val, Val, Val. I ink you misundrestimate the power of what I call “The Numbskull Class.” They are quite capable of not just misunderstanding entire concepts (like small government, freedom and personal choices, but they also manage to completely befuddle folks who actually know the proper definitions of the words they are misusing.


  11. I think they’d finally be able to draw sufficient attention to this offer if they have a raffle to let Demint and McConnell do the ultrasound.
    Because it seems like enough people just don’t know about this great opportunity.


  12. Funny. Makes me wonder (speaking on behalf of the fraternity) if we (as men) would be so compelled to dictate the use of probes if we knew the same would be required of us anytime one of us guys went looking for a prescription for Cialis, Viagra or any other ‘performance enhancing’ pill. Methinks not (Ha!). Well done. Your passion for a bargain brought a big grin. Dan in Chicago.


    • You are right, Dan. Perhaps each Rx of an ED drug must come with a prostate exam and each patient must also demonstrate competent use of a condom. The up-side is I think they could get a couple of new bathtubs for their efforts!


  13. you’re so right, don’t turn down free stuff!


  14. Snoring Dog Studio

    Is he throwing in a set of free steak knives with that deal? Cuz I’m all over that.


  15. aFrankAngle

    I just looked around for a coupon for a free ultrasound, but sadly, I couldn’t find one. After all, you logic seems logical.


  16. Awesome……..Just Awesome Share.I love it.Looking forward for more.Alex,Thanks.


  17. I’ve somehow missed that these are called “women’s right to know” laws. George Orwell would be proud.


    • Just before the 2004. Election, an electric box next to the Key Bridge. Going from VA to DC was spray painted to say: “Read Orwell.” Some GOP genius edited it to say: “”Read well”. Such idiots, they don’t even know ignorant they are.

      But yeah Orwell would be very proud.


  18. I want one, too! But since I don’t have a vagina, I’ll take cash instead.


  19. You are hysterical!! Thanks for the laugh.


  20. Clinton



  21. Very funny! I visualize long lines of post-menopausal boomers at local clinics waiting their turn for a freebie. Order Starbucks and chocolates and we’ll have a great time.


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