I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I am slow. So it has been many weeks since Ramblings and Rumblings’ Speaker7 “tagged” me, during which time several other folks she tagged answered her questions. Now that no one is paying attention any more, and all the funny answers have been, well, answered, I’m going to play. Don’t hate me just because everyone else has gone home.
First off, I need to tell you about Speaker7 who is right more often than my husband (he is always right — my advice? Don’t marry a lawyer.) She understands politics, politicians and turds. What more does anyone really need to understand? Thanks for including me on your list, Speaker7.
OK, so here are her questions to me:
1.) Which member of the Backstreet Boys are you most like?
I like the gay one:
2.) What did Bruce Jenner do to his face?
Upon realizing that he had traded in a career doing something cool to staring with the Kardashians in wasted TV airspace, Bruce Jenner’s face cracked wide open. This crack was large enough for what remained of his brain to escape and take up residence in a less compromised skull: Matt Lauer’s.
3.) Please explain what a Kim Kardashian is and why anyone would know what a Kim Kardashian is?
A severe lack of talented writers in Hollywood led to the current crop of celebrities who have even less talent than the writers writing about them. The antidote is to hire us, clever bloggers who understand comedy, real life, and how nobody with a lick of sense gives a shit about reality TV.
4.) How doomed are we?
Not at all. Because we survived and there is a T-Shirt to prove it. All we need is $9.95 and we are invincible.
5.) Is Ryan Seacrest a robot or is he something less artificial?
6.) Why isn’t Rush Limbaugh kicked in the nuts daily?
Because he is a coward and has no nuts. No vagina either. He is an alien. A zombie. A plague on humanity. A soon to be four-times divorced roll [sic] model with a drug problem and vanishing sponsors.
7.) Which religion is correct?
Mine. And I’ll kill you to prove it. Or maybe I’ll just revoke all your rights. And mess around in your girlie/boyie parts.
8.) Can you think of someone who is worse than the current slate of Republican presidential candidates?
Sarah Palin would be even worse. Funnier, but way worse.
9.) Why do people enjoy the book Twilight?
People who did not grow up on Dark Shadows enjoy Twilight. They enjoy seeing the movie because they want to see Cedric Diggory come back to life so Voldemort will lose. Oh, yeah, he does.
10.) What’s up?
Playing tag again. What’s up with you?
11.) How many Academy Awards will Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance win?
Why, oh why, do they keep making such stupid movies? And why does Nick Cage keep doing stupid shit? I know he needs money, but perhaps we can pay him to stop.
- It’s been a busy week. You have 155 blogs to read and comment on tonight. Do you:
- Read the new ones first
- Read the old ones first
- Pick out your favs
- Delete them all and hope you do a better job next week
- Beatles or the Stones?
- Favorite vacation ever.
- When you hit the “Like” button on a blog post, which posts does Word Press say are your ‘great posts worth seeing? Do you agree that those are your best?
- All-time favorite commercial
- Favorite stupid comment about contraceptives
- Things you’d rather do than watch college basketball.
- Most embarrassing experience
- THE word you simply cannot spell correctly and why we should change to your version.
- Your special punishment for the lame-ass individual who came up with “REALITY TV.”
- If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
Now, I’m not going to tag anyone, but I am going to list some folks here for you all to check out if you don’t already know them. These are mostly old blogging buddies. I’ll do another list of newer ones, too.
You guys go ahead and play without me. I’m pooped.