Such a Choice!

OK, I am over, so over, being depressed at Christmas.  It’s all because of my previous post, Both Sides Now, which, I am not kidding, cheered me up no end.  Sorry it depressed the hell out of you.  My bad.

So even though I am no longer depressed because it is Christmas, there is still too much to do.  So I am still crabby.  I have no elves.  I would be jolly if I could simply order someone else to do everything. I need elves.

Without elves, I’ve decided that I need a change.  Can I please become Jewish for a bit?  Buddhist?  Muslim (oh, dear, not in the U.S.)  Oy vey.

Oh, well there you have it.  Jewish it is.


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18 responses to “Such a Choice!

  1. People are always asking me how to spell chhanuukaahk. What’s the big deal?


  2. My friend, who may or may not be in the business of fake identification……said your Jew card is on the way.


  3. I am working on my Chanukkah post for Monday. I hope you check it out, it may change your mind. Until you decide… Happy Chrismakkah!


  4. Oh dear. I didn’t think of that. Can I become an honorary Jew without being Mitzvah’d? Wait a minute! Stop everything! I am honorary enough to know it would not be a BAR Mitzvah but a BAT Mitzvah instead, me being a girl and all. Wouldn’t you know it, even here the guys get the better end of the schtick!

    I guess I’d better head on to Buddhism. It is such a peaceful religion, though. I’m not sure they’ll have me!


  5. Will you be having a belated Bar Mitzvah party? Oh no! You might need elves for the party planning! You just can’t win!


  6. Ha! I am with you. Where are the elves! This is really too much. Seriously. Good plan.


    • Thanks. I am willing to share my elves with you too. They are, apparently, younger generation elves who show up when they please, texting all the while. Oh well!


  7. I was going to go with depression, then I picked crabby as well. Crabby gets me through. There’s only one week left and I haven’t done hardly anything! I anxiously await my elves…


    • Good decision. Depression is so last year. Besides, think of the wonderful Christmas memories you can make for your children when you get crabby.

      When my elves arrive, I will share. But I have been waiting quite a while already!


  8. I’m Jewish and can tell you that there are some benefits to Hanukkah. No need to have all your gifts purchased and wrapped at once. You could stop at the mall every night for 8 nights on your way home to pick one up. Elves would be helpful for latke making. I would LOVE someone else to shred potatoes then hover over a skillet of bubbling oil cooking them.


    • There are many benefits of being Jewish, I think. Hanukkah is just one. THE biggest one in my book is Yiddish, the most expressive language on the planet. If I were Jewish, I’d know more than a few words. I’m considering writing the Shiksa’s definitive guide to Yiddish! Or I would if I knew more than a handful of wonderful words!

      Happy almost-Hanukkah!


  9. Hi,
    I think we could all do with a few helpful elves this time of year. 😀


  10. I have a friend who clued me in to the fact that Jews call Christmas ‘Jewish Movie Day.’ I had no idea, but apparently it’s true. Jewish people all go to the movies on December 25th. What an awesome idea. I think Jesus would have loved that, espcially since he was a Jew and all. Loved the piece, Lease!


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