Tag Archives: Tea Party

Fighting Stupidity 101

You guys read my blog and often rail with me against the stupidity we are seeing in our political discussions.  And it does my heart good.

Tonight, I’m going to show you how some folks in Troy, Michigan, fought the Tea Party with inspiring brilliance, reverse psychology and humor.

You folks in Troy, Michigan?  You seriously rock!

 

I found out about this story at Crooks and Liars.com, where I find a lot of interesting things.  Thanks, you guys.  You rock too.

 

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Filed under Elections, Family, Humor, Law, Politics, Stupidity

Git Along Little Doggies

One of my very favorite movie scenes of all time is one you may have forgotten.  Have you seen The Italian Job with Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Donald Sutherland and Edward Norton?  I love this movie, and not just because it is (partly) set in Venice, my favorite place on Earth.  And not even because it also stars my beloved late (sniff) blue Mini-Cooper.

Remember the scene where Hansome Rob (Jason Statham) is stuck in traffic waiting to make a left turn behind an actor (played by Scott Adsit) rehearsing for an audition?

“Give me your badge.  And your weapon.” Over and over until the light is just about to change.  Then Rob honks the horn, the actor realizes he needs to go, and does, leaving Handsome Rob stuck at the light.

I love the scene because it’s such a true-life event.  In fact, this sort of thing used to happen to me all the time.  The result – I sit in

G-R-I-D-L-O-C-K

Damn, I hate that.  It’s funny in a movie.  In real life, when there are things that must be done — important, occasionally life changing things — well, it isn’t quite as funny, is it?  Usually, I just need to get along to work, to home, to the bathroom, to wherever.  So does everybody else.

You know, it seems that now, in real life, the absent-minded driver has been replaced by the intentionally jerky driver who doesn’t stop when he/she know there isn’t a snowball’s chance that he will make it across the intersection.  So he/she gets stuck in the middle along with other, like-minded jerks, and folks like me who try to get along.  Nobody gets anywhere.  No work gets done.  The only thing they raise is blood pressure.

I know these folks.  I’ve seen them outside of their cars.  They are the same jerks who used to throw temper tantrums on the playground if there wasn’t a swing available (whether they really wanted to swing or not).  Who used to bully.  Who have been jerks since before the egg and sperm that formed them ever hooked up.

We here in the Washington, DC area are way too familiar with these guys.  And we don’t want any more.  In fact, we are pretty damn tired of folks who stamp their feet, pound their fists, and spit in the face of one of the cornerstones of civilization:  working together for the common good.

Now someday soon, I’ll tell you all about the truly wonderful work that was done as a direct result of bipartisanship in the United States Congress.  Yes, it’s true.  And it happened in my lifetime and yours.  But that’s for another day.

But believing as I truly do in lawmakers working together,  imagine my disgust when I saw this clip of the jerk, Richard Mourdock, who beat Senator Lugar to be the Republican Party’s candidate for Senate in Indiana.

Boys and girls, listen up.  Nobody gets anywhere when everybody stands and stamps their feet.  And if someone running for office says:

“To me, the highlight of politics, frankly, is to inflict my opinion on someone else”

Well, then, it’s time to work to keep him out of office.  We have enough jerks pushing their way into the middle of the intersection and going nowhere.

Let’s see if we can find folks who might want to work together to solve problems.  Because we have a whole mess of them.  And to fix them, all of us need to get along.

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Filed under Driving, Elections, Humor, Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Voting

Don’t Tread on Me

Updated

A few weeks ago, Stephanie, a Danish woman I met at a party, arrogantly announced that American laws were all stupid.  She demanded that I explain to her why our laws allow anyone in the U.S. to own and use guns.

I opened my mouth repeatedly to smush her argument, to belittle her point, and to quote from memory out of the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution in case she didn’t know that it was an infallible document.  But only pitiful little squeaks came out.  Occasionally, a feeble “but…” or “I don’t…” slipped out, but my normal ability to defend American culture to Europeans failed me.

Worse yet, I couldn’t even begin to explain why U.S. gun laws are great.  Because U.S. gun laws baffle me.  Shouldn’t all thoughtful, law abiding people agree with me that loaded guns should not be just carried around in case you get pissed off or you decide you have one too many toes?  Guns should especially be kept out of bars, political rallies and churches, places that don’t always bring out the best in folks. 

In fact, it was hard not to say to Stephanie, “Our gun laws are completely inexplicable and incredibly stupid.” 

Stupid people — even certifiably crazy people — can buy guns legally, with fewer identification demands than a 20 year old buying a 6-pack.  It’s especially easy here in Virginia, where I live.  After talking with Stephanie, I looked up a few facts.  I discovered that guns bought in Virginia are subsequently used in the highest percentage of crimes.  Go Virginia!!!  Yahoo!!!  Doesn’t that just make you want to whistle Dixie?

The study was done by The Americans for Gun Safety Foundation shortly after a crazy person at Virginia Tech used legally purchased guns to shoot 32 students and professors and then himself.

I’m actually glad that I don’t have my own arsenal.  I do tend to get pissed off.  Remind me not to stick a Smith and Wesson into the glove compartment, because I get pretty annoyed at each and every other driver on the road.  Have you noticed what jerks they are?  The lane hoppers, the texters, the adults turning around to rough up grandma.  They should all be shot, or smacked, or, when push comes to shove, pushed and shoved.  If I’d “packed heat” on my recent drive to and from Maine, I’m pretty sure I’d have used my guns repeatedly, on the drivers who cut me off, the ones who tailgated, or on those damn Tea Party folks who sport a “Don’t Tread on Me” bumper sticker on their car.  Because it makes me especially apoplectic to see folks who don’t think taxes are necessary driving their crappy, environmentally hazardous cars on roads built by U.S. taxpayers.

Now that I’ve found my voice, I need to get in touch with Stephanie, again.  Because she is under the misimpression that our gun laws make it so guns are the only way we Americans can abuse each other.  And I want to let her know that we have other options.  Automobiles, for instance.  And who knows, the one I drive might just accidentally ram the back of that ’95 Buick with the “Bachmann for President” sticker on the left side of the bumper.

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Filed under Humor