Tag Archives: Assholes

Git Along Little Doggies

One of my very favorite movie scenes of all time is one you may have forgotten.  Have you seen The Italian Job with Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Donald Sutherland and Edward Norton?  I love this movie, and not just because it is (partly) set in Venice, my favorite place on Earth.  And not even because it also stars my beloved late (sniff) blue Mini-Cooper.

Remember the scene where Hansome Rob (Jason Statham) is stuck in traffic waiting to make a left turn behind an actor (played by Scott Adsit) rehearsing for an audition?

“Give me your badge.  And your weapon.” Over and over until the light is just about to change.  Then Rob honks the horn, the actor realizes he needs to go, and does, leaving Handsome Rob stuck at the light.

I love the scene because it’s such a true-life event.  In fact, this sort of thing used to happen to me all the time.  The result – I sit in

G-R-I-D-L-O-C-K

Damn, I hate that.  It’s funny in a movie.  In real life, when there are things that must be done — important, occasionally life changing things — well, it isn’t quite as funny, is it?  Usually, I just need to get along to work, to home, to the bathroom, to wherever.  So does everybody else.

You know, it seems that now, in real life, the absent-minded driver has been replaced by the intentionally jerky driver who doesn’t stop when he/she know there isn’t a snowball’s chance that he will make it across the intersection.  So he/she gets stuck in the middle along with other, like-minded jerks, and folks like me who try to get along.  Nobody gets anywhere.  No work gets done.  The only thing they raise is blood pressure.

I know these folks.  I’ve seen them outside of their cars.  They are the same jerks who used to throw temper tantrums on the playground if there wasn’t a swing available (whether they really wanted to swing or not).  Who used to bully.  Who have been jerks since before the egg and sperm that formed them ever hooked up.

We here in the Washington, DC area are way too familiar with these guys.  And we don’t want any more.  In fact, we are pretty damn tired of folks who stamp their feet, pound their fists, and spit in the face of one of the cornerstones of civilization:  working together for the common good.

Now someday soon, I’ll tell you all about the truly wonderful work that was done as a direct result of bipartisanship in the United States Congress.  Yes, it’s true.  And it happened in my lifetime and yours.  But that’s for another day.

But believing as I truly do in lawmakers working together,  imagine my disgust when I saw this clip of the jerk, Richard Mourdock, who beat Senator Lugar to be the Republican Party’s candidate for Senate in Indiana.

Boys and girls, listen up.  Nobody gets anywhere when everybody stands and stamps their feet.  And if someone running for office says:

“To me, the highlight of politics, frankly, is to inflict my opinion on someone else”

Well, then, it’s time to work to keep him out of office.  We have enough jerks pushing their way into the middle of the intersection and going nowhere.

Let’s see if we can find folks who might want to work together to solve problems.  Because we have a whole mess of them.  And to fix them, all of us need to get along.

55 Comments

Filed under Driving, Elections, Humor, Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Voting

Spread ‘Em!

At last.  Finally.  Well, I must say it’s been years since it’s happened in front of anybody but my husband.  So I’ve decided to drive around until I get pulled over.  And then, I can be strip searched!  I am so excited.  I just can’t wait.

Really!  The Supreme Court just decided I could be.  And I don’t have to do anything at all.  I can be pulled over if I don’t signal a turn, or if I don’t stop at a stop sign, or if I ship heroin from Coast to Coast.  I can get pulled over if I didn’t do anything at all.  Yup, it doesn’t matter a bit.  It doesn’t matter whether I commit a misdemeanor or am a serial killer.  Or a terrorist.  It doesn’t matter if I haven’t done a thing!  Those handsome guys can strip search me.  And it’s OK, because I am a big CHIPS fan:

Wanna know what I’m talking about?

Apparently you didn’t hear about the Supreme Court’s latest ruling.  By a 5-4 verdict the Supreme Court decided that anyone stopped by the police for any reason can be strip searched.  Anyone at any time.  Regardless of the charges against them.  They can be hauled into the police station and told to drop ’em and spread ’em.

So, if you are stopped by a policeman/woman for any reason whatsoever, you can now be strip searched.  For any reason at all.  Or no reason at all.  Even if you’re not the driver of the car.  That was the situation with the subject of this ruling — he was a passenger.

Have you ever:

  • Missed a stop sign?
  • Exceeded the speed limit?
  • Forgotten a parking ticket?

Do you have:

  • A teen-age daughter?
  • A teen-age son?
  • A sense of personal privacy?
  • A fear of standing naked in front of policemen/women?

Too bad.

I am SOOOOOOOOO glad everyone is protecting my liberties.

My liberty to stand naked in a jail for forgetting my turn signal.

77 Comments

Filed under Elections, Family, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Stupidity, Traffic

I Tried to Resist. Really I Did.

Really.  I tried to resist posting this clip.  I tried hard.

I wrestled with my sense of “oh I can’t subject my international readers to this” and my sense of humor.  My tendency to show serious things in a funny way.  My senses of humor won.  My fundamental need to post about hypocrisy won.   Because this is as close to the truth as I have seen in a long time.

Happily found on Dailykos.com at this link.

62 Comments

Filed under Elections, Family, Health and Medicine, Humor, Hypocrisy, Politics, Stupidity, Voting

Pounding Wood

At the park this morning, I watched a whole lot of birds.  And I figured out American politics in the process.

Specifically, I learned that we’re not eagles.

Google Image, of course

No, I didn’t mean those eagles, although we’re not them.

I meant these eagles – and we’re not them either.  We’re not golden eagles either.

Naturally I am confused about this, since I thought all Americans were cunning, smart and resourceful, just like our national symbol.

But we’re not at all like eagles.  I’m pretty sure we Americans are much more like woodpeckers.

Pileated Woodpecker. Thanks, Google

We come in all shapes and sizes.

Redbellied Woodpecker (yeah, I know it has a red head. I don't name these things)

We’re black and white and red and gray and brown.

Smoky brown woodpecker.

And we hit our heads against hard stuff all the time.  Repeatedly.

Take the issue of health insurance, for example.

The people who need it most are the ones who oppose it most.  They just slam their heads into those trees, again and again.  But at least woodpeckers get bugs and build nests.  Human woodpeckers get nothing for their troubles.  Well, except troubles.  Oh and large bills.

Who can’t afford medical care?  Where do they live?  Let’s look.

Poverty in the US

Then Check out these maps showing US distribution of diseases and conditions that, well, just might need a visit to a doctor from time to time:

Diabetes

Distribution of cardiovascular disease:

Heart Disease

Distribution of obesity:

Now, look at the map of folks who don’t have health insurance

Who DOESN'T HAVE Health insurance?

And the map of states whose government are fighting Obama’s Affordable Care Act.

States trying to repeal the Affordable Care Act.

Can I see a show of hands of who sees a pattern here.  Yeah, I knew you’d notice that it’s all the folks who probably need health insurance most  have elected governments that are fighting against insuring them.

Yup, we’re a nation of peckers.

********

Bird images from Google unless otherwise noted.

Maps from the U.S. Centers from Disease Control unless otherwise noted on the map or here:

Diabetes map:

http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/DDT_STRS2/NationalDiabetesPrevalenceEstimates.aspx

Poverty map:

http://www.censusscope.org/us/map_poverty.html

Heart Disease map:

http://www.cdc.gov/dhdsp/maps/national_maps/hd_all.htm

Who has Health Insurance:

http://www.cdc.gov/dhdsp/maps/sd_insurance_2000.htm

102 Comments

Filed under Health and Medicine, Humor, Hypocrisy, Politics, Stupidity

Does This Make Sense To You?

All this talk by the GOP about banning contraception, particularly for poor women, has me a little bit confused. And for good reasons.

The first one is because I’m pretty sure that the poor and downtrodden aren’t really the GOP’s base.  So why do they want more poor people?

Then there’s the money part of this question.  Because, last I heard, Republicans are really big investors.  Don’t Republicans invest in drug companies that sell contraceptives? You know, birth control?  Products that keep people from having babies when they, umm, you know.  Don’t Republicans want to make money from their investments?

But the third and most baffling reason I don’t understand their desire to prevent women, and particularly single women, from getting contraceptives — making it more likely they’ll have babies — is because of what single women can and have done:

From Dailykos.com

Politics is so gosh darn confusing.

 

 

93 Comments

Filed under Elections, Family, Humor, Hypocrisy, Politics, Science, Stupidity, Susan G. Komen