Overheard at the Park

You all know that I love being outside.  I often go to a park not too far away that lies along the banks of the Potomac River.  It’s a natural area, with lovely paths that go up and over hills and others that follow the river.  Still others cut through open fields.  It’s lush and green, or open and bare, depending on the season and where you are.

Now that my dog is elderly and, well, in failing health, I tend to take my long walks by myself.  It gives me time to sort out my mind, think up blog posts, get some exercise.

It also lets me eavesdrop.  Here, you can too!

*     *     *

At the entrance to a short path that heads upriver for about half a mile, stood a woman looking at her iPhone with irritation.  She was surrounded on either side by two men, one of them presumably her husband.  The other looked like he might have been her brother.

“This damn UPS app,” she complained “doesn’t say how long the path is OR where it goes!”

But you’ll get a package for your troubles!

*     *     *

Two men were walking towards me; they had obviously just seen a snake, and since there are loads of them around here, I like to know where they’ve been spotted.

“Yeah,” said the first to his friend, “there are tons of snakes around here.”

My ears perked up.

“You’re right.  And it’s you have to be really careful not to step on one,” said the friend.

“Yeah, because when you do, they act like you’ve done it on purpose.  Like they don’t even get that you didn’t mean it.”

Ummmm, Guys? It’s a SNAKE, not Disney.

*     *     *

And just now, on the Sunday before Memorial Day, I heard this:

One tall middle aged guy was wearing a short sleeve flag-motif shirt. 

He was clearly waiting for someone.  Finally his friend showed up.

“Did you have trouble parking?” said Flag shirt guy.

“Yeah, the park sure is crowded today,” responded his friend.  “I shouldn’t have been surprised.  After all, it’s a three day weekend.”

“Yeah, Memorial Day.  But, still, why are there so many people here at the park?  There isn’t a Memorial here.”

Oy.

*     *     *

Happy Memorial Day, everybody.  Hope that the dopes you run into are at least entertaining!

 

39 Comments

Filed under Awards, Humor, Stupidity, Technology

39 responses to “Overheard at the Park

  1. Now that my dog is elderly and, well, in failing health, I tend to take my long walks by myself. It gives me time to sort out my mind, think up blog posts, get some exercise.

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  2. The beaches here always get crowed on Memorial Day and yet there’s not a single memorial at the beach either! Stupid people! lol

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  3. Something I didn’t think I missed until reminded of it – snickering after overhearing unsuspecting randoms (and understanding, at that!). Thanks for the laughs and I hope you had a lovely holiday!

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  4. Happy Birth Day to your blog. 🙂

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  5. cooper

    Some people wear negative vibes like a cheap suit. I went to a wine tasting at a local park on saturday and the woman behind me in line waiting to get in just wouldn’t quit. “If I knew there was a line I wouldn’t have come.” “I’m going to waste half the day standing here.” “It’s stupid.” Put a sock on it, Leona…

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  6. I do so love The General Public. They say the most interestingly entertaining things!

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  7. Thanks for the giggles and Happy Memorial Day.

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  8. Keen ear! Meanwhile, hope you had a good Memorial Day. Thanks for the chuckles.

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  9. Oy says it all.

    People never cease to amaze me, Elyse. But without humans and their general tendency to say and do dumb things, I’d have no blog.

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  10. I’m glad people don’t overhear my conversations, I’m always so careful. Although I don’t usually say things quite this dumb!

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    • Good tactic! I’m incredibly careful too, especially after a movie or a play. I find that people say the most “profound” things then.

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  11. I hope no one ever uses what they overhear me saying to my kids as blog fodder. There’s a lesson in here.

    Flag Shirt Guy. You knew he was going to have a story.

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  12. People in flag clothing have always scared me…now I know why. I love eavesdropping as well…it’s always interesting.

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    • I’m actually frustrated that the flag has been co-opted by folks on the right. Just because I am a liberal democrat doesn’t mean I’m not patriotic. I just don’t need to wear a shirt proclaiming it. Besides, as I recall from the 60s and early 70s, flag clothing was considered disrespectful.

      Glad I have a partner in eavesdropping, Tops. I have a great time listening in on other people’s conversations. I don’t even try to hide what I’m doing anymore. I figure if they say such stupid things when they know someone’s listening, what on earth do they say in private?

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      • Honest to God, watching the Right waving flags while spouting hateful comments about the President has turned me off to almost anything red, white & blue.

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        • Yes, Tops, Yes!

          I had a disagreement with a friend of mine recently about flags. I said that I felt that the right has co-opted flags, and that therefore whenever I see a flag I am wary. She didn’t agree and was upset that I don’t respect the flag.

          Actually, I have a great deal of respect for the flag. It’s these bozos wearing it, waving it, pasting it on their car bumbers without understanding what it really stands for (hey, it’s more than just the 2nd Amendment, ya know) that make me crazy.

          It’s my flag too.

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          • When something is so overdone it looses its value. Flags are just that…overdone. The HONOR has been replaced with being a symbol of patriotism, but the people constantly waving it are the least patriotic people on earth! I now have that association…me and your friend would have an issue…lol

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            • Actually, that’s my problem with it. Many, not all, folks on the right wave the flag but don’t think, don’t pay attention to issues, don’t vote with the country’s best interest at heart. There have been too many times when folks trot out the flag but don’t understant what it means. The most recent being Rick Santorum and his ilk who don’t understand the concept, embedded in bedrock in the U.S. between separation of church and state.

              My friend is from the midwest. I don’t know if it is regional.

              Oh, I need to get off my soap box.

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  13. Awesome. I also lament UPS’s inability to tell me the distance of things. If they can send a package to the moon, why not this?

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  14. Ha! 🙂 Thank you for all the laughs. It’s 2.40AM here, and I am laughing like a mad looking at my laptop screen, while reading this post. 🙂

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  15. You have a keen ear for the odd.
    That last one gave me physical pain.

    Hope you’re having a great weekend!

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    • No, I just can’t mind my own business! On the other hand, I am always reluctant to talk when others can overhear and use my words as blog fodder.

      Hoe yours is great too!

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  16. Good ones! Thanks for the giggles. 🙂

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  17. LOL! “As if we did it on purpose.” Maybe you folks should stick to the parks of all well-manicured grass.

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