You can bank on it

I’m ready to go along with the folks occupying Wall Street.  Because I too am getting rather peeved with the whole banking industry.  It’s gotten so irritating, I just don’t know what to do.

My husband, John, got annoyed as anything last month when he looked at his bank statement and realized that every time he goes to the ATM and wants his balance, or wants one of those little statements, they charge him a buck.

I would have been annoyed had I seen that charge, too; then again, I would have had to open up my statement.  And since I can proudly say that I have not, in fact, actually opened a bank statement since 1973 when my father carefully taught me how to reconcile one, well, I didn’t notice the fee.

But there are more and more of these annoying surcharges, and they are sooner or later going to affect how I spend my time.  And if I have to start actually paying attention to my money instead of simply letting it run through my fingers on luxury items like bread and water, well, there will be hell to pay.

And another thing:  What is with all these bank mergers?  I have been banking at the same place for about 25 years.  Well, the same building, anyway.  The bank’s name changes more often than the tide.

In fact, it is this last name change of my bank that has me ready to join up with the Occupy Wall Street gang.  Because the bank’s name went from the throat-clearing-aid name “Wachovia” to “Wells Fargo.”

Now every time I got to the ATM I get stuck with two things:  those damn fees, AND the tune and lyrics of the most annoying song ever.  The Wells Fargo Wagon tune from Music Man:

 Oho, the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin’ down the street

Oh please let it be for me

Oho, the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin’ down the street

I wish, I wish I knew what it could be!

It sticks in my head each and every time I go to the ATM.  I’m not happy about this, nor is my husband.  John thought it was bad when I kept singing the same verse of “Desperado” over and over again.  For some reason, it annoyed him no end, even though I explained to him that it was the best verse of the song.

But with the bank’s new name, I end up singing that stupid song all the time.  I’m going to start standing outside my office building with a cup and a sign to get some cash, just to avoid the ATM and spare my husband.  Yes, I do try to be a good wife.

But you know, I’d be happy to have them double the fees if they would just change the name again.  Here’s my suggestion:

“The Impossible Dream” Bank.


Filed under Humor

17 responses to “You can bank on it

  1. Your last sentence made me laugh out loud and there is not much to laugh about these days.


    • Thanks! “Laughin’ and cryin’ you know it’s the same release.” I’m sure somebody said it before Joni Mitchell, but that song always gets stuck in my head — and the tune is far less irritating!


  2. So true! Another thing we noticed when moving to Australia, was the interest the banks give on accounts over there. Here in Aus, with a minimum $500 balance you can earn 5% interest, standard. Over in the US our account earned something like .90% – ridiculous!
    We have established that the banking industry benefits the banks and their CEO’s, and no one else, and there seems to be very little one can do about it – other than to join the comrades-in-arms over on Wall St. I’m with you, they have my every empathy. What will it take for change to come about?


  3. Just the other day I made a mental note to only write checks to withdraw cash and avoid the silly fees for the “privilege” of my bank holding and using my money to not make loans and not pay me much interest…. I think that the banks are doing so poorly that now they realize that the only way to actually make money is to charge lots of little fees on all of us account holders … it provides banks with monthly cash flow which may enable them to continue to not make loans, or not extend credit to small business owners or first time home buyers…. something’s gotta give, but instead of protesting wall street, i would protest all the politicians who take all that corporate money to support their campaigns…. it is after all , the squeaky wheel who gets the grease, and if you grease the wheel, you reap all the rewards….


    • Welcome back! Where’ve you been.
      I’m partly in agreement with you, and partly not. Not because Bank of America just announced 3rd Quarter profits of $6.2 Billion (yup, Billion with a B), I find they have a lot to answer for. And they will be just fine withou my $1 and my $5 fees, or yours. As for the Washington angle, the Democrats have been trying to fix the problem. But the Republican have blocked it at every opportunity. Look, for example at their treatment of Elizabeth Warren. Schumer, for example takes contributions, as did Chris Dodd. But they still believe in regulating the banks. Gee, who doesn’t? The GOP.


  4. Well I did exaggerate a bit. But I think I will be going to all checks again. Retro banking will be all the rage! Thanks for your comment.


  5. Well…I don’t have a debit card and don’t plan on having one. Yes, checks are still the way to go for me. It just doesn’t make sense to go to a debit machine, take out money and not know what the ongoing balance is. Also, the alone factor of standing at an ATM alone makes me shudder. Hello…petite woman at machine…easy target. My family knows this about me, and I hope I don’t have to change. Read bigsheepcommunications last Saturday. She has a good post on banking also, now that her oldest has entered college.


  6. Mike Staf

    I took my cash out of a big bank and put it in a credit union. Their hours aren’t as good, but they haven’t caught up on all the fees yet.


  7. I feel ya! When I worked for money, I had a career in banking. After 10 years, I had been through so many mergers that I actually quit and worked as a consultant for banks going through mergers! I don’t really buy into the “occupy” hype because I worked on compliance and regulatory issues for years and I can tell you banks are highly regulated. That said, big banks suck. Find yourself a hometown bank or credit union and make the switch. You will be so glad you did!


    • Smaller is better — this merger mania is crazy. Whether it is banks, airlines or any other company. Big is NOT better. So you’re right — I will change to something much, much smaller. And with no damn theme song!

      Thanks for checking out my site!


  8. Stuffing cash under a mattress looks better and better every day, doesn’t it?


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