Daily Archives: October 17, 2011

You can bank on it

I’m ready to go along with the folks occupying Wall Street.  Because I too am getting rather peeved with the whole banking industry.  It’s gotten so irritating, I just don’t know what to do.

My husband, John, got annoyed as anything last month when he looked at his bank statement and realized that every time he goes to the ATM and wants his balance, or wants one of those little statements, they charge him a buck.

I would have been annoyed had I seen that charge, too; then again, I would have had to open up my statement.  And since I can proudly say that I have not, in fact, actually opened a bank statement since 1973 when my father carefully taught me how to reconcile one, well, I didn’t notice the fee.

But there are more and more of these annoying surcharges, and they are sooner or later going to affect how I spend my time.  And if I have to start actually paying attention to my money instead of simply letting it run through my fingers on luxury items like bread and water, well, there will be hell to pay.

And another thing:  What is with all these bank mergers?  I have been banking at the same place for about 25 years.  Well, the same building, anyway.  The bank’s name changes more often than the tide.

In fact, it is this last name change of my bank that has me ready to join up with the Occupy Wall Street gang.  Because the bank’s name went from the throat-clearing-aid name “Wachovia” to “Wells Fargo.”

Now every time I got to the ATM I get stuck with two things:  those damn fees, AND the tune and lyrics of the most annoying song ever.  The Wells Fargo Wagon tune from Music Man:

 Oho, the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin’ down the street

Oh please let it be for me

Oho, the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin’ down the street

I wish, I wish I knew what it could be!

It sticks in my head each and every time I go to the ATM.  I’m not happy about this, nor is my husband.  John thought it was bad when I kept singing the same verse of “Desperado” over and over again.  For some reason, it annoyed him no end, even though I explained to him that it was the best verse of the song.

But with the bank’s new name, I end up singing that stupid song all the time.  I’m going to start standing outside my office building with a cup and a sign to get some cash, just to avoid the ATM and spare my husband.  Yes, I do try to be a good wife.

But you know, I’d be happy to have them double the fees if they would just change the name again.  Here’s my suggestion:

“The Impossible Dream” Bank.


Filed under Humor