Normally, I like to wait until about noon to face the day’s failure.  FailureS.

In fact, I try to put this knowledge off as long as possible.  Some days I wait to learn what I’ve done wrong until it’s time to leave the office when I realize all the things I’ve forgotten to do.  Usually with someone chasing me to the elevator saying “did you … ?”

Other times, helpful drivers point out my driving failures with a finger gesture on my way home.

On yet other days, I wait until I get home, where my husband, son, dog or the resident birds and squirrels can chip away at my self-esteem.

Not today.

Nope.

Today, since I woke up early (and learned that I picked the wrong lottery numbers by mistake), I treated myself to a nice breakfast.  Eggs!  And as I sat down to enjoy their yellow, fluffy goodness, I realized that I was a total failure.  I made mistakes cooking my eggs.

It’s true.  Huffington Post told me so — during my second bite, when I clicked on this article:

9 Mistakes You’re Making With Scrambled Eggs

Apparently I am easily satisfied because mine tasted great. But who am I to know?
Photo: Google, of course.

My own misteggs caught in my throat on the second bite.

It’s going to be a bad day.