Category Archives: Family

November 30, 2011 · 0:00

Ummm, Mom? — “CHRISTMAS WITH MOM” CONTEST

Mom was known for giving weird gifts.

One year, far from Mom, my sister Judy and I found two identical small packages from her. One for Judy and one for me. We saved them for last, to be opened simultaneously.

Judy was faster than I and opened hers first. It was a little green plastic box of earrings that said “Judy” “Judy” all over it.

I unwrapped mine. It said “Elaine” “Elaine”

“Ummm, Mom?” I said later, “my name’s Elyse.”

“Well,” she responded, “They had boxes with just a plain E, but that was just too boring!”

"Elaine's Earrings" -- Yup, I still have them!

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This is my entry in the Christmas with Mom Contest.

The rules? Write a Mom Christmas Memory of 100 words or less, link to it in the comments section at sponsored by http://warnerwriting.wordpress.com/christmas-with-mom-contest/.

Deadline is December 5, 2011. Winner gets a $25 gift card to Amazon.com or Starbucks, as well as having the w inning piece posted on a number of blogs including Things I Want To Tell My Mother

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Filed under Family, Humor

November 26, 2011 · 0:00

Too much information

I’ve had a house full of folks here for Thanksgiving for most of the week. So I’ve been doing a whole lot of cooking. Tonight, however, I’m taking it easy. I bought a frozen lasagna, and not long ago, I turned over the box to read the directions. Basically, I needed to know how long and at what temperature to cook it. What other information do you think I’d need?

Apparently, our friends at Stouffer’s thought I needed more. Apparently, they think that the straight jacket has just been removed from my torso. Apparently they think that I need careful guidance in frozen Lasagna-making.

So I guess it is a good thing that the box gave me the most complete pre-cooking instructions I could wish for:

Preheat oven to 400° F

Do not exceed 400° F

Pull tab from short side of package and remove perforated strip.

Remove tray from box.

Now, I know that some people are better cooks than others, but if you can’t figure out that you need to open the package and take the entree out before you start cooking your frozen dinner, well then, maybe you need something more than a frozen dinner.

Maybe you need a drink.

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Filed under Family, Humor

Tagged as Humor

November 10, 2011 · 0:00

Adoption Day!

It’s a snark-free post this time. I promise it won’t happen too often. I don’t want to ruin my reputation.

But Friday, 11/11/11 is a big day in my family. It’s Adoption Day. Our 20^th.

You see, on November 11, 1991, my husband John and I adopted our son, Jacob. He was 3-1/2 months old at the time. Jacob was born in Chile, and John and I literally traveled to the end of the earth to turn a happy couple into a happier three-some. It was on 11/11 when the Chilean court approved us and said, yes, Elyse and John, “You’re Parents!”

For years, I’ve told Jacob that I knew something was up with that number. As a teenager, I was fixated on 11:11. I got a clock radio for my 16th birthday – it was an old-fashioned “digital” clock, with numbers that literally flipped on a carousel. Every night I waited until 11:11 before I could go to sleep, no matter how tired I was. I’ve always told Jacob that, even though I didn’t know what it meant then, well, my heart obviously knew that 11:11 meant something. Something big.

But I didn’t know just how big or just how wonderful.

Because 11/11 = Jacob. Our son, my baby, our boy, our young man. Our hilariously funny, nutty, astute guy. Our pride and joy. Jacob, you continue to delight, amuse and inspire us. We love you, Peanut.