I hope you’re not reading this over your first cuppa of the day. But if you are, maybe you should put it down. Now.
Yup, please put it down before your hands begin to shake. In fear. In anticipation. In desperation.
Because I just learned that coffee is an endangered species. It’s true! Really! Have I ever steered you wrong? I mean, lately?
I guess I need to back up here and explain to you just how the world has failed you, and how life may just not be the same because of it.
When we were just pumping crap into the atmosphere, it didn’t matter. It didn’t affect us directly. I mean it shortened our lives, but that’s acceptable, right? An even trade.
Deep breath now.
When it just affected the polar bears, well, it still didn’t matter. They’re not very cute once they grow up.
HOLY S*H*I*T
Or icebergs. Who needs ’em?
But now global warming is getting serious. Seriously serious! And you’ll feel it at your house and I’ll feel it at mine.
You see, I just read that Jim Hanna, Starbuck’s Director of Sustainability, reported to the Guardian Newspaper that extreme weather fluctuations caused by global warming are projected to f*@k up our supply of coffee beans. That’s because most crops, including coffee, only grow within a narrow range of temperature. All these high highs and low lows from climate change make crappy cappuccinos.
“What we are really seeing as a company as we look 10, 20, 30 years down the road – if conditions continue as they are – is a potentially significant risk to our supply chain, which is the Arabica coffee bean,” Hanna said.
But it gets worse.
Because it’s not just coffee.
Gulp.
Chocolate is threatened, too.
Clearly, it’s time to get serious about global warming.
FiftyFourandAHalf 