I’m a violent morning person.  It starts even before I’m awake.  It starts when the alarm goes off.  In this case, my violence would, I’m sure, be excused in a court of law.  I am not fully conscious when I SMACK that alarm clock.  Sadly, I don’t succeed in killing it.  I merely stun it into five precious minutes of silence.  Repeatedly.

This behavior baffles my husband.  More so on those days when he doesn’t set his alarm as usual to off 30 minutes before mine.  On those days when he plans to sleep in a bit. On those days he is “perturbed.”

“Why don’t you just set it for 15 or 20 minutes later?” John asks.

He will never understand me.

“When I hit the snooze button, I feel all-powerful,” I respond.  “Like I have total control over my life.  Even more so when I hit it repeatedly.”

He will never understand me.

Tomorrow is Saturday, and I won’t be turning my alarm on tonight when I go to bed.  But Saturdays are dangerous mornings for my husband.  Because the only thing within smacking distance is him.

I’ve always wondered why he gets up so early on weekends.


Filed under Humor

12 responses to “Morning!

  1. That’s cheating — I told mine publicly!


  2. Clinton

    Some day I’ll tell you my alarm clock story.


  3. I don’t sleep by the alarm, luckily.


  4. They really are all the same. Different heads! Thanks for your comment. Hope you get the bathroom tomorrow!


  5. My husbands sleeps in. Unless I want him to. When I’d like to have the morning (or the bathroom) to myself – then, he’s up! Husbands just have an instinct for annoying you.


  6. I, too, am married to a rooster. After 16 years of dirty looks and threatening to smother him with his own pillow, he has finally stopped waking me up when he rises to greet the day at whatever unGodly hour it is his eyes open.


  7. Some mornings require a few false starts before they can be officially started.


  8. Perhaps only women “get” women! You’re right about the little things — mine hasn’t been able to make my coffee the way I like it since we married (curiously he did BEFORE (?!?). Perhaps we should get together for “proper” toast and coffee!

    Thanks for your nice comments!


  9. RVingGirl

    Let;s face it; he will never “get” you. After 41 years of wedded bliss, my husband doesn’t even understand the simple things, like the way I like my toast! I mean, an intelligent guy one would think, but…???
    Love your blog and I totally “get” you!


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