Daily Archives: November 4, 2011


I’m a violent morning person.  It starts even before I’m awake.  It starts when the alarm goes off.  In this case, my violence would, I’m sure, be excused in a court of law.  I am not fully conscious when I SMACK that alarm clock.  Sadly, I don’t succeed in killing it.  I merely stun it into five precious minutes of silence.  Repeatedly.

This behavior baffles my husband.  More so on those days when he doesn’t set his alarm as usual to off 30 minutes before mine.  On those days when he plans to sleep in a bit. On those days he is “perturbed.”

“Why don’t you just set it for 15 or 20 minutes later?” John asks.

He will never understand me.

“When I hit the snooze button, I feel all-powerful,” I respond.  “Like I have total control over my life.  Even more so when I hit it repeatedly.”

He will never understand me.

Tomorrow is Saturday, and I won’t be turning my alarm on tonight when I go to bed.  But Saturdays are dangerous mornings for my husband.  Because the only thing within smacking distance is him.

I’ve always wondered why he gets up so early on weekends.


Filed under Humor