Monthly Archives: August 2017

Hey Doc? What’d Ya Say?

Even an expert patient like me forgets stuff.  Yup, it’s true.  Sorry to disappoint you.

I don’t know about you, but generally, when I go to the doctor, I’m not at my best. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be there.

You see, on bad days things change for me from one minute to the next.  And by “things” I mean my ability to be able to comprehend what I’m reading, what I’m writing ( 😦 ), and especially what I’m hearing.  When I feel awful, I can’t focus on what you’re saying.  And I’m certainly not going to remember it.  I’m not going to write it down, and if I did, I am not going to be able to read what I wrote.  So naturally, I’m not going to do what I just paid half a month’s salary to have a doctor tell me to do.

Most days I am a highly functioning individual.  Smarter than the average bear.  On other days, I’m not.  On those bad days, the bear turns into a sloth and I become a blithering idiot.  Usually diarrhea is involved, and I must say that I often feel like I flush a lot of brain mater.  Luckily, it recycles, but the image is pretty yucky.

Sadly, I’m not the only one.

Sick people as a general rule, sick people are not smart people because they’re sick, feverish, nauseated, dehydrated, cancerous.  People in pain are not smart people.  When you hurt, when you’re weak, when you can no longer lift your head because of the pain, well, it’s hard to listen.

Naturally, that’s when it is most important.

Because that’s when you go to the doctor, when you go to the ER, when you learn what you need to do to feel better.   But you’re sick so you never remember what you’re supposed to do.  Or in what order to do it.  Or for how long to do it.  Or if it goes inside or outside that orifice…

So when I read this article earlier today in the New York Times, I thought — what a great idea!  Record the instructions!

Now why didn’t I think of that?

We all have electronic devices with us at all time.  Use the damn things!  If instructions are recorded,  you can replay the instructions when you forget what you’re supposed to do,  and it’s just like you’re back there in the doctor’s office.  You have a better chance of doing it right.  Just as if you had a personal doctor or nurse right there reminding you just what to do and how to do it.

Some doctors don’t like the idea.  They worry (not unreasonably) about malpractice.  But frankly, compliance with doctor’s instructions is a big problem in patient care.  And this seems to me an excellent recipe for making sure you do what the doctor tells you to do.

Now if I can just figure out how to use the audio on my phone ….

 

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Filed under 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Advice from an Expert Patient, Chronic Disease, Curses!, Health, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Huh?

On one side there were Nazis and on the other side there were no Nazis and Trump still came down on the wrong side. #charlottesville

Margaret and Helen — they always say it best.

Margaret and Helen

helen-mug1From Helen:

Margaret, several people have asked me why I haven’t been writing. The truth is, honey, this isn’t funny anymore. Our President… scratch that… the moron currently occupying the White House just equated George Washington to Robert E. Lee. He can’t understand why a memorial to the symbolic founding father of our country is different than a memorial to a general in an army that fought a failed rebellion against our government.

Mr. President, with no respect intended, I implore you to please step down. You are not qualified for the position you now hold. Quite frankly, you are not qualified to be much more than a reality TV star, a position I hold in very low regard by the way.

There is a reason that in Germany you will find no statues of Hitler, no monuments to the Third Reich, and noChancellor of Germany suggesting there was blame…

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Been There, Done That

D-Day

Time to invoke the 25th Amendment.

 

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August 16, 2017 · 0:00

Flushing tips for guests

Really now. This post BELONGS on my blog.

Drinking Tips for Teens

Dear guests,

Welcome to our home and, more specifically, this little corner of personal hygiene privacy we like to call the guest bathroom. Please make yourself comfortable and avail yourself of whatever you need. We have provided a wide variety of reading material, from an assortment of Archie digests to a well-thumbed Victoria’s Secret catalogue, a subtle acknowledgement by your hosts that, here, your business is none of ours.

That said, please be advised that this particular toilet is temperamental, and we ask you to adhere to the following flushing advice.

But first, a little history of this toilet…
The toilet was imported from Ste-Vinaigre-sur-Slaw, France, in 1934 during the height of the Mouvement plomberie fonctionale, which is perhaps best known through the porcelainworks of Henri-Louis Villarouxieuxeut, in particular his breathtaking-to-the-point-of-gasp-producing “Bidet pour des choochoos quotidiennes.”

This particular toilet, however, is not a Villarouxieuxeut but rather one…

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