Flushing tips for guests

Really now. This post BELONGS on my blog.

Drinking Tips for Teens

Dear guests,

Welcome to our home and, more specifically, this little corner of personal hygiene privacy we like to call the guest bathroom. Please make yourself comfortable and avail yourself of whatever you need. We have provided a wide variety of reading material, from an assortment of Archie digests to a well-thumbed Victoria’s Secret catalogue, a subtle acknowledgement by your hosts that, here, your business is none of ours.

That said, please be advised that this particular toilet is temperamental, and we ask you to adhere to the following flushing advice.

But first, a little history of this toilet…
The toilet was imported from Ste-Vinaigre-sur-Slaw, France, in 1934 during the height of the Mouvement plomberie fonctionale, which is perhaps best known through the porcelainworks of Henri-Louis Villarouxieuxeut, in particular his breathtaking-to-the-point-of-gasp-producing “Bidet pour des choochoos quotidiennes.”

This particular toilet, however, is not a Villarouxieuxeut but rather one…

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14 Comments

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14 responses to “Flushing tips for guests

  1. I did a great post about a trip to Seattle, a visit to the famous underground portion of that city, and how, after importing some of the very first ‘Crapper’ flush toilets, the city found that the rising tide would twice every day shoot everything that had been flushed back up and out of the pipes like a fountain.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. harumph! I had a post that featured a toilet, and you didn’t even comment. I’m not going to tell you who the star of the particular poster was, or it will be too easy to find.

    I’ve been meaning to suggest a post to you for a while, and i kept forgetting until now. Every once in a while, I will watch the shows about flipping houses or renovating houses. I have noticed lately that all the TV remodelers want to put barn doors on everything, Now, I am not a barn door snob. I like them very much, and I wish I could afford them. That said, barn doors do not belong in bathrooms!!!!! Barn doors slide across the metal rods at the top and sort of lay against the wall around the room openings. They don’t really seal the room off. There is space for odors and noises to creep out. You don’t want that for a bathroom. Hell, once I saw them put a barn door on the bathroom of a tiny house! WTF? It’s not bad enough that your guest knows she is pooping just a couple of feet away from anyone else who might be in that wee abode? Does she have to worry about everyone hearing her fart symphony as well? This is what backs people up and gives them hemorrhoids and heaven knows whatever other digestive ills. Put a barn door on your bedroom if you want, and just be quiet if you have guests over and you’re getting your dinky stinky. Put one in your kitchen or dining room or den or just use them for closets. Putting them in a bathroom is just asking your gassy guests to run down the street to the gas station when they have some unpleasant business to attend to.

    I ask this as someone who is shy when it come to peeing or pooping anywhere other than her own home…when nobody else is there…and when the dog is sworn to secrecy.

    I thank you in advance. Next time, we can talk about shiplap.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am with you on bathroom barn doors. Personally, I think when I win the lottery and build my dream house, all bathrooms will be soundproof and smell-proof.

      Sorry if I missed your toilet themed post. I’ve been swamped at work and have had little time to play. 💩

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am soooo with you on the barn-doors. On the spacious walk-in pantry of your $1.2 mil custom home where privacy is not an issue? Perfect. Bathroom – any bathroom? Ix-nay.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I was teasing you about the toilet post.

        If I win lotto, my bathrooms will be separate edifices which you can get to by little subway cars. There will be large screen TVs, a fridge (in case you get thirsty) and pillows for all the dogs I plan on getting if I strike it rich, because heaven knows, I have forgotten what it’s like to go to the bathroom without my little furry shadow beside me.

        As for barn doors on bathrooms, pegoleg seems to be on board, too, so let’s strike while the iron is hot! I nominate you to be the leader of the resistance.

        One other thing. I think, as an expert on all things toilet, I wonder if you could explain why Twitler always looks like he is sitting on one. Do you think he wears Depends and is always squeezing something out?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. If I write a post about toilets or poop or anything bathroomish, would you promise to re-blog it?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This post belongs on my wall. Or more specifically on the wall of my downstairs loo which is somewhat mysteriously located on the upstairs landing right smack dab next to the upstairs loo such that we had to add an another downstairs loo that was actually er… downstairs. But in all other aspects, its ancient self functions just like the one described (although we have luckily thus far been peachless). Clearly I just need to invest in an Archie comic book.

    Liked by 2 people

Play nice, please.

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