My husband-to-be wanted to have the wedding in October. But I could only get time off work during September. And so John and I got married on September 20. Thirty years ago today.
Our wedding day was blisteringly hot. As we stood on the altar for pictures, I wiped the sweat off my new husband’s face with a paper towel that left little bits of paper all over his face as I laughed. John’s look said it all — we should have done this in October, Lease.
As it turned out, he was wrong. Although we didn’t know it for five more years.
Today we will have two toasts. One for our anniversary. And another for the start of our family.
Because as it turned out, getting married on September 20 was a stroke of luck. It not only started John and I out as a married couple, but as parents as well. Wanna know how?
Fast forward five years, to 1991. John and I had gone through all the steps towards adopting a child — starting the family that we weren’t able to do without paperwork. We were emotionally pretty raw after years of trying, failing, trying medicine, and failing again. It’s hard on both individuals. It’s hard on the marriage. Basically, it just sucks.
But we wanted a family. And after a small amount soul searching, we knew that the DNA didn’t matter so much. John and I loved each other, and we had more love to share with someone smaller and likely cuter. So we decided to adopt.
Just over a week before John’s and my 5th wedding anniversary, we got the call.
“Would you be interested in adopting a baby boy …” the details flowed through the phone to my ears. To my heart. Birth date, weight, apgar scores. Details that I couldn’t absorb.
We hadn’t expected this call to come for another year, based on what our adoption counselor had told us previously. We needed to be patient — our application might take years. We’d only made the first calls to adoption agencies in February.
Of course we wondered why things happened so quickly. The answer was delightful.
Jacob’s birth mother was given information about prospective adoptive parents for her baby. She chose John and I. Because we shared a special day. We were married on her birthday.
So today, on our anniversary, John, Jacob and I will have dinner together to celebrate our marriage, our family, and the birth of the woman who trusted her baby to us. I think she’d be proud of the man he’s become. I know I am.
And I thank our lucky stars that I couldn’t get time off in October.
The Three of Us. John’s behind the camera
***
I wrote this after reading and commenting on a thoughtful piece by Victo Dolore (aka VD).
FiftyFourandAHalf 
Beautiful story. Congratulations and thank you for sharing. Please check out my blog and my latest post https://aladyhoodjourney.wordpress.com/2017/03/10/my-lost-sister-part-1/
I would love your feedback!!!!
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Thanks, pink. I can’t open your link from my phone — I’ll try later from a computer!
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Please do. Looking forward to your thoughts!!!
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What an awesome post..sorry I’m late! Happy anniversary and babyversary/gotcha day!
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Thanks!
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That is just lovely. Gotta love when the universe has a plan — and it’s a good one.
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It was like a valet! I will print this off and take it with me next time.
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You’re probably scratching your head over my answer, here. I thought you had commented to my nurses post — not this one. It was also supposed to say “Balet,” not “valet”!
Apparently l need a nap!
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Some things are just meant to be. Your story made me tear up. Congrats to you and your sweet family.
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Thanks Darla; I really like this one too. They’re two pretty good guys. Mostly 😉
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It was the pearl anniversary? Oops. Just yesterday morning I actually broke my pearls — not a metaphor, though. They can easily be patched!
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Yeah right, Paul. I win ALL the time. In the market for a bridge?
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So beautiful…both the story and all of you.
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Thanks, Barb. Sorry for my late reply. It was a nice day/evening!
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Oh, I love the “exactness” of the Universe:). It knows so much better than we do . . . congratulations!
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Exactly, Kay!
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Beautiful. And all the more moving because you honor his birth mother, who gave all three of you so much.
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Thanks. I agree. Our lives would be so much different! Lesser, I think.
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That was a stroke of good luck. Incidentally, I liked the turn of phrase about starting a family through paperwork. I was also adopted as a child, and my mother always said she got to have a family without all the pain and groaning. 🙂
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I use that line, too. We also missed colic and he was sleeping through the night. Not to mention that he is a terrific guy.
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I’m headed off into my day with the warm feeling that gave me. Thanks.
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Have a good one 😊
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Wonderful!
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Thanks, Deb.
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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I knew you would like this one as an adopted kid yourself!
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yup… sniff… stupid allergies…
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😏
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yup
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A warm, wonderful story. Thanks for sharing with all of us and congratulations!
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Thanks! We had a good day.
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congrats and happy serendipity –
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Thanks. That’s how I always think of it!
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Definitely fate. What a beautiful story!
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Exactly! Thanks.
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Wishing you a wonderful anniversary, celebrating all that your love has brought to your lives, including your son!
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Thanks Lynn. We’re all pretty lucky.
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What a wonderful story. Congrats, you all 3 have so much to celebrate. That pic is great…you can feel the joy. ☺☺☺
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He was soooo cute!
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Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
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Thanks for the reblog!
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I LOVE your story! Thanks so much for sharing it. 🙂
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😊. Thanks for inspiring me to share it!
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Serendipity, love it. Congratulations.
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Exactly! Thanks Paul.
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Happy anniversary and happy birthday to Jacob’s birth mother too. What a wonderful bond to share together, all of you. x
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Isn’t it? I love the magic of it.
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Congratulations for both occasions! What a lovely story. It made me feel happy. ❤
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Thanks, Merril — it’s pretty close to my heart, too.
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Most sincere congratulations!!!!
My husband and I are in the middle of determining what we’re going to do: pursue small-scale fertility treatments (i.e. medicine and insemination, but not IVF) or adopt. We keep flipping back and forth.
Three of my four siblings are adopted, but they were removed from an abysmally abusive home and placed into foster care, so they were an older age when my parents brought them home, and they had some seriously horrible psychological trauma to overcome, and not all of them succeeded in doing so.
Obviously, I love them dearly. They are my family. I truly rarely think of them as the “adopted” siblings (unless in conversations specifically about the issue.) They’re just my siblings.
So, I know I am capable of loving an adopted child as my own family. But I am a wee bit scared that our love won’t be enough.
Anyway, I’m rambling. All to say, this post was beautiful, and it really touched me. I’m so hugely happy for you and your husband and your son. Happy adoption stories make me all misty 😀
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I’ll be happy to talk with you about our experience — my email is in my contacts above (it’s a seriously annoying email address, I will warn you).
I don’t regret trying to have biological kids, and I am happy that life ended up the way it did. If we don’t correspond, good luck with whatever path (or paths) you choose!
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Here’s a toast to your anniversary, and another to the adoption! You seem like a happy wife and mother, so it appears everything has worked out well. Congrats. 🙂
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Thanks, Tippy. Things did seem to line up in a rather nice way, I think.
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Congrats and I love that picture. All that hair!
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Thanks, Kate.
And about that hair. One thing that always cracked me up is the fact that the two people Jacob and I hung around with at this time was Giuliana and Marco. Giuliana is Italian, with straight dark hair and olive skin. Marco has blond curls. Somehow, nobody every mistook mothers and children. It always makes me smile. (Of course it’s hidden behind the hair!)
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Happy Anniversary and perhaps it should be called Happy Family day too! Thanks for sharing your wonderful story.
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Thanks. We make it a family day, at least those years when Jacob isn’t away at school. Jacob came out to dinner with us Tuesday, and we had a lovely time.
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What a lovely story! Congratulations on your anniversary!
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Thanks, RC. It warms my heart, I must say.
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Congratulations on your Pearl Wedding anniversary. Lovely post and a beautiful boy.
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Thanks! We were asking Tuesday what the anniversary was. Coincidentally, I broke my pearl necklace that morning — good thing a new string will make it good as new!
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I did a couple of posts on anniversaries with a list of what goes with what. This is one of them:
https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2016/02/12/my-anniversary-referral-list/
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This story just warmed my heart for a first read in the morning (: I always loved vintage photos like these of my parents too
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Hey! That only happened yesterday! Right?!?!
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Haha indeed! I’m afraid my father had the foresight to dress my mother up more fashionably than she does today !
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I bet you get the last word on all scheduling now. Tell him you’d like to do Christmas in July and see what he says.
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Right Paul. I win ALL THE TIME. Right. Now I assume you want to buy a bridge …
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Congrats on your wedding date, marriage, and wonderful family.
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Thanks Barb. It’s a sweet happenstance, isn’t it.
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Talk about serendipity! What a story! Congrats on your anniversary and your beautiful son 🙂
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Thanks, Joan! That is just how I like to think of it. Makes me happy. ❤️
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