Two Toasts

My husband-to-be wanted to have the wedding in October.  But I could only get time off work during September.  And so John and I got married on September 20.  Thirty years ago today.

Our wedding day was blisteringly hot.  As we stood on the altar for pictures, I wiped the sweat off my new husband’s face with a paper towel that left little bits of paper all over his face as I laughed.  John’s look said it all — we should have done this in October, Lease.

As it turned out, he was wrong.  Although we didn’t know it for five more years.

Today we will have two toasts.  One for our anniversary.  And another for the start of our family.

Because as it turned out, getting married on September 20 was a stroke of luck.  It not only started John and I out as a married couple, but as parents as well.  Wanna know how?

Fast forward five years, to 1991.  John and I had gone through all the steps towards adopting a child — starting the family that we weren’t able to do without paperwork.  We were emotionally pretty raw after years of trying, failing, trying medicine, and failing again.  It’s hard on both individuals.  It’s hard on the marriage.  Basically, it just sucks.

But we wanted a family.  And after a small amount soul searching, we knew that the DNA didn’t matter so much.  John and I loved each other, and we had more love to share with someone smaller and likely cuter.  So we decided to adopt.

Just over a week before John’s and my 5th wedding anniversary, we got the call.

“Would you be interested in adopting a baby boy …” the details flowed through the phone to my ears.  To my heart.  Birth date, weight, apgar scores.  Details that I couldn’t absorb.

We hadn’t expected this call to come for another year, based on what our adoption counselor had told us previously.  We needed to be patient — our application might take years.  We’d only made the first calls to adoption agencies in February.

Of course we wondered why things happened so quickly.  The answer was delightful.

Jacob’s birth mother was given information about prospective adoptive parents for her baby.  She chose John and I.  Because we shared a special day.  We were married on her birthday.

So today, on our anniversary, John, Jacob and I will have dinner together to celebrate our marriage, our family, and the birth of the woman who trusted her baby to us.  I think she’d be proud of the man he’s become.  I know I am.

And I thank our lucky stars that I couldn’t get time off in October.

The Three of Us.  John's behind the camera

                            The Three of Us. John’s behind the camera

 

***

I wrote this after reading and commenting on a thoughtful piece by Victo Dolore (aka VD).

 

 

71 Comments

Filed under Humor

71 responses to “Two Toasts

  1. Beautiful story. Congratulations and thank you for sharing. Please check out my blog and my latest post https://aladyhoodjourney.wordpress.com/2017/03/10/my-lost-sister-part-1/
    I would love your feedback!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What an awesome post..sorry I’m late! Happy anniversary and babyversary/gotcha day!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That is just lovely. Gotta love when the universe has a plan — and it’s a good one.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Some things are just meant to be. Your story made me tear up. Congrats to you and your sweet family.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It was the pearl anniversary? Oops. Just yesterday morning I actually broke my pearls — not a metaphor, though. They can easily be patched!

    Like

  6. Yeah right, Paul. I win ALL the time. In the market for a bridge?

    Like

  7. So beautiful…both the story and all of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, I love the “exactness” of the Universe:). It knows so much better than we do . . . congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Beautiful. And all the more moving because you honor his birth mother, who gave all three of you so much.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. That was a stroke of good luck. Incidentally, I liked the turn of phrase about starting a family through paperwork. I was also adopted as a child, and my mother always said she got to have a family without all the pain and groaning. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A warm, wonderful story. Thanks for sharing with all of us and congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. congrats and happy serendipity –

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Definitely fate. What a beautiful story!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Wishing you a wonderful anniversary, celebrating all that your love has brought to your lives, including your son!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. What a wonderful story. Congrats, you all 3 have so much to celebrate. That pic is great…you can feel the joy. ☺☺☺

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I LOVE your story! Thanks so much for sharing it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Paul

    Serendipity, love it. Congratulations.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Happy anniversary and happy birthday to Jacob’s birth mother too. What a wonderful bond to share together, all of you. x

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Congratulations for both occasions! What a lovely story. It made me feel happy. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Most sincere congratulations!!!!
    My husband and I are in the middle of determining what we’re going to do: pursue small-scale fertility treatments (i.e. medicine and insemination, but not IVF) or adopt. We keep flipping back and forth.
    Three of my four siblings are adopted, but they were removed from an abysmally abusive home and placed into foster care, so they were an older age when my parents brought them home, and they had some seriously horrible psychological trauma to overcome, and not all of them succeeded in doing so.
    Obviously, I love them dearly. They are my family. I truly rarely think of them as the “adopted” siblings (unless in conversations specifically about the issue.) They’re just my siblings.
    So, I know I am capable of loving an adopted child as my own family. But I am a wee bit scared that our love won’t be enough.
    Anyway, I’m rambling. All to say, this post was beautiful, and it really touched me. I’m so hugely happy for you and your husband and your son. Happy adoption stories make me all misty 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ll be happy to talk with you about our experience — my email is in my contacts above (it’s a seriously annoying email address, I will warn you).

      I don’t regret trying to have biological kids, and I am happy that life ended up the way it did. If we don’t correspond, good luck with whatever path (or paths) you choose!

      Like

  22. Here’s a toast to your anniversary, and another to the adoption! You seem like a happy wife and mother, so it appears everything has worked out well. Congrats. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Congrats and I love that picture. All that hair!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Kate.

      And about that hair. One thing that always cracked me up is the fact that the two people Jacob and I hung around with at this time was Giuliana and Marco. Giuliana is Italian, with straight dark hair and olive skin. Marco has blond curls. Somehow, nobody every mistook mothers and children. It always makes me smile. (Of course it’s hidden behind the hair!)

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Happy Anniversary and perhaps it should be called Happy Family day too! Thanks for sharing your wonderful story.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks. We make it a family day, at least those years when Jacob isn’t away at school. Jacob came out to dinner with us Tuesday, and we had a lovely time.

      Like

  25. What a lovely story! Congratulations on your anniversary!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Congratulations on your Pearl Wedding anniversary. Lovely post and a beautiful boy.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. This story just warmed my heart for a first read in the morning (: I always loved vintage photos like these of my parents too

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I bet you get the last word on all scheduling now. Tell him you’d like to do Christmas in July and see what he says.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Congrats on your wedding date, marriage, and wonderful family.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Talk about serendipity! What a story! Congrats on your anniversary and your beautiful son 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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