When you have chronic health problems like I do, there’s always something new to worry about.
- Will this procedure hurt?
- Will this procedure make my life worse?
- Will this procedure kill me?
Photo Credit 4029TV.com
Until today, though, I never asked myself:
- Will this procedure turn me into a flaming torch?
Butt that is precisely what happened to a woman undergoing surgery in Japan recently. And it happened when she did what all of us fear whenever we have a medical procedure in the southern hemisphere.
She farted.
Fortunately for her, she was asleep on the operating table.
Unfortunately for her, the gas she passed was ignited by the laser the surgeons were using on her.
According to the article I read,
The fire burned much of her body, including her waist and legs. Her condition is unclear.
The poor woman. I really feel terrible for her. It’s embarrassing enough to break wind when you’re in a humiliating enough position.
Butt now I have something else to worry about the next time I have to have a procedure.
I’m toast.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
Pingback: The Impending Closure | Snakes in the Grass
O. M. G. This should be filed in the category, “you can’t make this shiz up.” Next time you go in, better strap a fire extinguisher to your thigh.
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I KNOW!!! Or ask, as you undoubtedly have to as an agent, “how close is the nearest fire hydrant?”!
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It’s no fair when fart stories are serious. I mean, really…
I’ve been buried deep in all the things life throws at a person, but I needed to carve out some time to visit my Peeps! Miss you!❤
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You too!
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I don’t want to make a joke… but I do sort of want to… arggggh
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I know. It’s so hard not to. Because the poor woman. Still, as someone with all sorts of GI issues, if you can’t laugh you’re toast. Of course not usually literally.
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There is no smell like freshly cooked anus…
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Damn! I think I will be rethinking my hip surgery.
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Oh you’re the second person going to have surgery!
I think that the story is incorrect — that they’re trying to blame the patient. Because all those drugs give everybody gas!
You will be fine. Trust me — I’m a fake medical expert AND a real expert patient.
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I’ve always trusted your fake medical expert advice. 🙂 Besides I’ve had enough surgery at this point that if it hasn’t happened yet, it’s not likely to.
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😏. Yeah. That’s the upside to all the crap we’ve dealt with!
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I heard you were changing your name to Melba. Now I understand why.
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Okay, so now each time I accidentally fart, instead of being humiliated, I can be thankful I’m not on my operating table.
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Life is all in how you look at things. And I will now look at each fart as a gift. I DO get a lot of gifts. ;(
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Wow. I have no witty retort for this. In fact, making jokes seems to be a bad idea, but damn…
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Just when you think you’ve heard it all….Could you imagine the convo before the surgery?…you’ll be going home within 24-48 hrs…they’ll need to put a caveat on that now.
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These stories are always funny until the night before surgery 😳
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Or until you read about her resulting burns! That poor woman…
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True. My mom is going for a colonoscopy next week. I will not he sharing this article with her…
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That story is so not funny, at least not to the poor lady with the burns. But I laughed anyway. Does that make me a bad person? The only thing I ever worried about (at least previously) when facing surgery was whether I would say something politically incorrect while under anesthesia. I once asked my surgeon if I had said anything, and judging by the smile he tried to hide, I can only imagine what I might have blurted out.
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I actually think the story is fabricated. That makes me willing to laugh at it — or at least laugh at it without guilt.
I don’t worry too much about what inappropriate things I say under anesthesia. I say plenty of them when I’m perfectly lucid!
But I do think that there must be another oath that doctors must take to not reveal the silly things we all say!
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My partner, who’s had any number of surgeries by now, once heard a tale about a parrot who exploded on a vet’s operating table. (I can’t remember how that was supposed to have happened.) It seemed very funny until she was scheduled for her first surgery, at which point all she could think about was those feathers flying everywhere. She asked the surgeon about it.
“Do you think any of us would be willing to step into the operating theater if that was a possibility?” he said.
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BRILLIANT DOCTOR!
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And he did pretty well by her ankle too.
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I guess that’s why they want you to have an empty stomach before surgery. I’mean having surgery next week. I told the doctor any time after election day so I ‘m having it on the 9th. Thanks for giving me something else to be concerned about.
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😳. So sorry! But I’ve had surgery 10 times. And while I can honestly say that I fart mustard gas, I have never even warmed up a surgeon’s hands.
Good luck with it — waiting is always the worst part for me. (That and the stupid things people say 🙄)
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This is my 4th. I haven’t been sleeping. The anxiety. I have confidence in my doctor so it’s just jittery. He won’t be working near the gas exitank so I think I’ll be safe but I’ll ask if they will have a fire extinguisher near by. 😊
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Good plan! Keeping your sense of humor handy, as you seem to be, helps a lot too!
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OMG this is crazy! One more thing to add to the long list of what could go wrong, so patient is aware before signing the consent form. Stay away from beans and roughage for 3-5 days prior to procedure. 🙂
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I spend my life studying things that go wrong — I don’t need any more. I’m hoping it is made up, because, shit. Even if you have no food in your system, you have gas. Don’t ask how I know that 😉
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I’m reading this after eating beans for lunch. I’m really glad I don’t have an operation scheduled for later.
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I’m glad, too, Jules. For so many reasons!
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When I was a teenager, a friend of mine and I spent a few hours trying to light our farts. It was frustrating at the time, but now I’m glad we weren’t successful.
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I, personally, would have died before farting in front of a friend wen I was a teenager. With this comment, you just showed that there really is a genetic difference between men and women, boys and girls.
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😀
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Perhaps that is why here, in the US, one is put on a restricted eating schedule before surgery.
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Hi Annie, I’ve had a lot of surgery, and they really do make you not eat for days ahead of time. Sadly, at least with my Crohn’s, there is never a shortage of gas!
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Holy mother of pink ! I didn’t know farting could be so dangerous. * and I’m not making light of this incident *
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I always KNEW that farting was dangerous. I could personally kill with some of mine.
I am actually hoping that the story is made up — that way I/we can laugh at it guilt free!
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I read about this, too, but I was wondering how true the story was. It seems so unlikely. Patients must fart all the time–wouldn’t you think that would be taken into account?
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I have to admit, Merril, that in spite of having an office full of medical professionals right outside my office door when I wrote this post at lunch, I did not ask if this was possible. It was just too funny.
I’m hoping that it isn’t, but I will ask my sources tomorrow. I do want to be able to laugh without guilt.
If it is any comfort, I have had 10 surgeries and I always have gas. I have never (yet) become a human torch.
.
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Keep us posted! I know gas is often a result of surgeries, so that’s why I wondered. 🙂
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There is another article about this that is more skeptical: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hospital-fart-fire_us_5818b2c4e4b0990edc3388cf
One of my in-house experts responded to my question with a laugh. 😏. I think it will be hard to get to the truth on this one — but this article sounds to me like someone was trying to blame the patient.
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Yes, it all seems suspicious. I suspect the hospital may be trying to cover up something.
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Ellen Hawley has the perfect response in her comment below (or maybe above).
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Oh hurrah for small mercies……… I’m just weeing blue!
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As a general rule, I prefer blue to yellow, but, ummmm… I hope you’re OK!
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Thanks Elyse.
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I could totally see that happening to me.
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Me too! What a memorable way to go out.
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Holy shit! (Or gas, as the case may be).
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Ouch.
jvb
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Isn’t it a stitch??? I didn’t ask anybody in my office if this was possible. I’m not sure I want to know!
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OH NO! This could be the very reason why I have feared hospitals since birth!
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As a frequent hospital patient, I will tell you that there are things higher on the list of things to be afraid of at hospitals than igniting farts in operating rooms! But still, that list gets longer!
I prefer to keep my farts outside, personally. Most people tend to agree with me!
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I still wish you good health– farts or no farts!
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Thanks! I have Crohn’s disease, so wish me remission! With or without farts!
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Gosh, I just worry about peeing and pooping on the operating table. Now I have worry about gas too?
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Long ago I gave up any semblance of pride when it comes to doctors, nurses, hospitals and other medical facilities. I figure these things are my only weapons against the nasty things they end up doing to me.
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I did too for the most part. With my bunion surgery which only took 45 minutes, I came out having to pee to badly, it’s the very first thing I said. “Gotta pee.” Very profound!
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Well, that’s a fine “how-do-you-do”. Whoddathunk?
jvb
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Hey, JVB! My dad used to say that all the time. So I’m thinking that this comment from you IS a fine “how-do-you-do”!
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