September 20, 2016 · 0:00
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Two Toasts

My husband-to-be wanted to have the wedding in October.  But I could only get time off work during September.  And so John and I got married on September 20.  Thirty years ago today.

Our wedding day was blisteringly hot.  As we stood on the altar for pictures, I wiped the sweat off my new husband’s face with a paper towel that left little bits of paper all over his face as I laughed.  John’s look said it all — we should have done this in October, Lease.

As it turned out, he was wrong.  Although we didn’t know it for five more years.

Today we will have two toasts.  One for our anniversary.  And another for the start of our family.

Because as it turned out, getting married on September 20 was a stroke of luck.  It not only started John and I out as a married couple, but as parents as well.  Wanna know how?

Fast forward five years, to 1991.  John and I had gone through all the steps towards adopting a child — starting the family that we weren’t able to do without paperwork.  We were emotionally pretty raw after years of trying, failing, trying medicine, and failing again.  It’s hard on both individuals.  It’s hard on the marriage.  Basically, it just sucks.

But we wanted a family.  And after a small amount soul searching, we knew that the DNA didn’t matter so much.  John and I loved each other, and we had more love to share with someone smaller and likely cuter.  So we decided to adopt.

Just over a week before John’s and my 5th wedding anniversary, we got the call.

“Would you be interested in adopting a baby boy …” the details flowed through the phone to my ears.  To my heart.  Birth date, weight, apgar scores.  Details that I couldn’t absorb.

We hadn’t expected this call to come for another year, based on what our adoption counselor had told us previously.  We needed to be patient — our application might take years.  We’d only made the first calls to adoption agencies in February.

Of course we wondered why things happened so quickly.  The answer was delightful.

Jacob’s birth mother was given information about prospective adoptive parents for her baby.  She chose John and I.  Because we shared a special day.  We were married on her birthday.

So today, on our anniversary, John, Jacob and I will have dinner together to celebrate our marriage, our family, and the birth of the woman who trusted her baby to us.  I think she’d be proud of the man he’s become.  I know I am.

And I thank our lucky stars that I couldn’t get time off in October.

The Three of Us. John's behind the camera

                            The Three of Us. John’s behind the camera

 

***

I wrote this after reading and commenting on a thoughtful piece by Victo Dolore (aka VD).

 

 

71 Comments

Filed under Humor

71 responses to “Two Toasts”

  1. Pinkspen
    March 10, 2017 at 0:00

    Beautiful story. Congratulations and thank you for sharing. Please check out my blog and my latest post https://aladyhoodjourney.wordpress.com/2017/03/10/my-lost-sister-part-1/
    I would love your feedback!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. ShitHappens2U
    September 28, 2016 at 0:00

    What an awesome post..sorry I’m late! Happy anniversary and babyversary/gotcha day!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Karen S Kingsley
    September 26, 2016 at 0:00

    That is just lovely. Gotta love when the universe has a plan — and it’s a good one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. She's a Maineiac
    September 22, 2016 at 0:00

    Some things are just meant to be. Your story made me tear up. Congrats to you and your sweet family.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Elyse
    September 21, 2016 at 0:00

    It was the pearl anniversary? Oops. Just yesterday morning I actually broke my pearls — not a metaphor, though. They can easily be patched!

    Like

    Reply
  6. Elyse
    September 21, 2016 at 0:00

    Yeah right, Paul. I win ALL the time. In the market for a bridge?

    Like

    Reply
  7. Barb
    September 21, 2016 at 0:00

    So beautiful…both the story and all of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. candidkay
    September 21, 2016 at 0:00

    Oh, I love the “exactness” of the Universe:). It knows so much better than we do . . . congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. Ellen Hawley
    September 21, 2016 at 0:00

    Beautiful. And all the more moving because you honor his birth mother, who gave all three of you so much.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. Bun Karyudo
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    That was a stroke of good luck. Incidentally, I liked the turn of phrase about starting a family through paperwork. I was also adopted as a child, and my mother always said she got to have a family without all the pain and groaning. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. pouringmyartout
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. snakesinthegrass2014
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    A warm, wonderful story. Thanks for sharing with all of us and congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. ksbeth
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    congrats and happy serendipity –

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. cordeliasmom2012
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Definitely fate. What a beautiful story!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  16. Lynn
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Wishing you a wonderful anniversary, celebrating all that your love has brought to your lives, including your son!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  17. vanbytheriver
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    What a wonderful story. Congrats, you all 3 have so much to celebrate. That pic is great…you can feel the joy. ☺☺☺

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  19. Victo Dolore
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    I LOVE your story! Thanks so much for sharing it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  20. Paul
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Serendipity, love it. Congratulations.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  21. Dina Honour
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Happy anniversary and happy birthday to Jacob’s birth mother too. What a wonderful bond to share together, all of you. x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  22. merrildsmith
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Congratulations for both occasions! What a lovely story. It made me feel happy. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  23. bekahrigby
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Most sincere congratulations!!!!
    My husband and I are in the middle of determining what we’re going to do: pursue small-scale fertility treatments (i.e. medicine and insemination, but not IVF) or adopt. We keep flipping back and forth.
    Three of my four siblings are adopted, but they were removed from an abysmally abusive home and placed into foster care, so they were an older age when my parents brought them home, and they had some seriously horrible psychological trauma to overcome, and not all of them succeeded in doing so.
    Obviously, I love them dearly. They are my family. I truly rarely think of them as the “adopted” siblings (unless in conversations specifically about the issue.) They’re just my siblings.
    So, I know I am capable of loving an adopted child as my own family. But I am a wee bit scared that our love won’t be enough.
    Anyway, I’m rambling. All to say, this post was beautiful, and it really touched me. I’m so hugely happy for you and your husband and your son. Happy adoption stories make me all misty 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Elyse
      September 20, 2016 at 0:00

      I’ll be happy to talk with you about our experience — my email is in my contacts above (it’s a seriously annoying email address, I will warn you).

      I don’t regret trying to have biological kids, and I am happy that life ended up the way it did. If we don’t correspond, good luck with whatever path (or paths) you choose!

      Like

      Reply
  24. Tippy Gnu
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Here’s a toast to your anniversary, and another to the adoption! You seem like a happy wife and mother, so it appears everything has worked out well. Congrats. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  25. Kate Crimmins
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Congrats and I love that picture. All that hair!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Elyse
      September 22, 2016 at 0:00

      Thanks, Kate.

      And about that hair. One thing that always cracked me up is the fact that the two people Jacob and I hung around with at this time was Giuliana and Marco. Giuliana is Italian, with straight dark hair and olive skin. Marco has blond curls. Somehow, nobody every mistook mothers and children. It always makes me smile. (Of course it’s hidden behind the hair!)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  26. drugopinions
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Happy Anniversary and perhaps it should be called Happy Family day too! Thanks for sharing your wonderful story.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Elyse
      September 22, 2016 at 0:00

      Thanks. We make it a family day, at least those years when Jacob isn’t away at school. Jacob came out to dinner with us Tuesday, and we had a lovely time.

      Like

      Reply
  27. Retirementallychallenged.com
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    What a lovely story! Congratulations on your anniversary!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  28. pensitivity101
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Congratulations on your Pearl Wedding anniversary. Lovely post and a beautiful boy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  29. The Laughing Duck
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    This story just warmed my heart for a first read in the morning (: I always loved vintage photos like these of my parents too

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  30. The Good Greatsby
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    I bet you get the last word on all scheduling now. Tell him you’d like to do Christmas in July and see what he says.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  31. barbtaub
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Congrats on your wedding date, marriage, and wonderful family.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  32. Just Joan
    September 20, 2016 at 0:00

    Talk about serendipity! What a story! Congrats on your anniversary and your beautiful son 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Play nice, please.