June 10, 2016 · 0:00
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You See, I DO Appreciate Art and Shit! ðŸ’©

With an artist brother and a sister-in-law, you’d think I’d be more involved in the art world. Sadly, I’m not.

I used to be more of a gallery girl, loved nothing more than spending time in any one of the wonderful museums and galleries near where I lived or worked.  And the galleries I got to visit while living in or traveling to Europe could fill a book.  Still, going to a museum with either Fred or my sister-in-law, with someone who knows a lot about art, well, it is a wonderful treat.

But with my Crohn’s disease as active as it is these days, I don’t go very often.

For anybody without access to art, though, I recommend following my blogging buddy Mark, of Exile on Pain Street .  He works in NYC and frequents museums, galleries and auctions and frequently writes about it on his blog.  Mark does it with wit and without the snobbishness that usually accompanies folks who talk about art.

But nobody posts about art quite like I do.  Or about art theft, because that’s really what this post is all about.  Art theft pure and simple.

How-to-Steal-a-Million-5

Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole in How to Steal A Million (Google Image)

The international art heist I’m talking about occurred in Spain, just outside Madrid.  I’m pretty sure it involved neither Audrey nor Peter.  Nor, probably, would the stolen object ever find its way into the Louvre.

Still, if you know anything about art, the beauty of an object is all in the eye of the beholder.  It may also be dependent on the species.  Or on the leash holder.

Torrelodones, a town near Madrid, paid 2,400 euros ($2,726; £1,885) for this sculpture:

Spanish Dog poop sculpture

Yes, it is a giant, inflatable pile of dog poo.  Photo from BBC (although they might deny it)

The article I read says:

The three-metre high inflatable bought as part of a campaign to encourage pet-lovers to pick up after their dogs went missing, El Pais newspaper reports. The bizarre inflatable disappeared after it had been packed away in its carry-case and the police are now on the trail of the 30 kilogramme dog poop, town officials say.

Speaking to the ABC newspaper, town councillor Angel Guirao said staff were shocked and perplexed by the theft, and a replacement excrement was already on order because “we know that the campaign has been a great success”.

I wish they’d asked me.  I could have provided plenty of models for this piece of art.

Why are you picking on me.png

Why are you picking on me.  Google, eat your heart out cause I took this one!

Don’t hesitate to ask me anything about art.  Or poop.

59 Comments

Filed under Bat-shit crazy, Being an asshole, Conspicuous consumption, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Dogs, Duncan, Huh?, Humor, Not something you hear about every day, Oh shit, Peter O'Toole, Political Corruption, Poop, Seriously funny, Seriously weird, Shit, Shit happens, Size Matters, Stealing, Stupid things happen in other countries too! Who knew!, Stupidity, Useful thing to do with poop, What a Maroon, Wild Beasts, WTF?

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59 responses to “You See, I DO Appreciate Art and Shit! ðŸ’©”

  1. Alice
    June 13, 2016 at 0:00

    Awed beyond measure and reason that you managed to get a poop emoji to show up in the URL of this post.
    I am so not worthy.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Opinionated Man
    June 12, 2016 at 0:00

    I get the struggle with crohn’s and IBS. I hope you get better or it under “control” soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Half a 1000 Miles
    June 12, 2016 at 0:00

    How have I not found you till now? How has that happened? You are me. (followed a Jenny link to get here).

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Life With The Top Down
    June 12, 2016 at 0:00

    I’m disappointed in Spain for going with the gigantic inflatable poop to send their message to these non-poop picker uppers. The only message things like that send are “steal me please, your opportunities for laughs will be endless endless.”
    A kid two doors down from me had a stuffed poop emoji tied to his bike. For some reason I thought “Wow, Elyse would love that!” He won it on the Boardwalk at the Jersey shore if you’re interested.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Elyse
      June 12, 2016 at 0:00

      While I’m not surprised that you thought of me when you saw that emoji, Tops, I’m not going to say that I am flattered. Because who wants to be thought of whenever someone sees a pile of poop? Sigh.

      Like

      Reply
  5. pouringmyartout
    June 11, 2016 at 0:00

    um… nope… I got nothin’…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Exile on Pain Street
    June 11, 2016 at 0:00

    Are you kidding me?! Thank you so much! I can count on one hand and have fingers left for the number of times in my life I was held up as a good example. I specified ‘good.’ I’ve been held up as an example plenty of times.

    Art is subjective but I think we can all agree that inflatable poo does not qualify. Having said that, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to see it turn up in the fall auction at Christie’s. They can auction it alongside Piss Christ. It’s a theme!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Elyse
      June 11, 2016 at 0:00

      I love your art posts. You’re one of the only people I know who can write about art without sounding like a pompous ass.

      But you don’t think this qualifies as art?!?!? Damn. Still, I’m looking forward to your write up about the auction. After all, you recently wrote about that urinal.

      Like

      Reply
  7. Scott
    June 11, 2016 at 0:00

    Of all the things I could envision myself stealing, inflatable dog shit is definitely not one of them. If I’m going to risk time in prison I’m going for the gusto.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Paul
    June 11, 2016 at 0:00

    It occurs to me that many of my fellow bloggers live in lands of kinder climates. That said, I would definitely add a heater to the new “work of art”. First, it would keep it free of snow and ice in winter, second,it would add a dimension to the piece with waves of heat coming from its surface it could be renamed a “Steaming Pile of Shit” = giving it an immediacy that it currently lacks.

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. aFrankAngle
    June 11, 2016 at 0:00

    You do have a way of finding dedications to poop. So, given Duncan’s models, how about forming the Duncantonian?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. List of X
    June 10, 2016 at 0:00

    I don’t think it was theft. I think that a giant inflatable man finally picked up after his huge inflatable dog.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. etomczyk
    June 10, 2016 at 0:00

    The replacement one will be stolen too because its way too tempting not to steal! Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. cordeliasmom2012
    June 10, 2016 at 0:00

    I’m dying here (no, not literally). I so want to get one of those inflatable poop piles and put it on my neighbor’s lawn because she has trained her dog to do its business on my lawn.

    Speaking of poop, I’m sorry to hear that your Crohn’s is active. Would any of the biologics like Remicade work for you? It’s been like a miracle cure for me, and I sincerely hope I don’t lose my insurance because then I couldn’t afford it.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Elyse
      June 10, 2016 at 0:00

      Oh I hope you don’t lose your insurance too! Horrible to be so dependent on it, isn’t it?

      I’ve been on Remicade for 3 years and it has helped enormously. But I still have lots of issues, one of which landed me in the hospital in April. But a lot of it is psychological. I worry about lines and about not being able to get to a bathroom in time. And I have a lot of fatigue. So …

      You do need to get away from those neighbors. Or simply put all your dogs messes on their lawn! 💩💩💩💩💩

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      • cordeliasmom2012
        June 10, 2016 at 0:00

        Vicious cycle, isn’t it. Stress causes poop issues, and poop issues cause stress. And wine relieves stress but may cause poop issues. Definitely not a happy way to live. I understand totally, as you know.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        • Elyse
          June 10, 2016 at 0:00

          Yeah. Stress doesn’t help but when I first had it 40 years ago, I was told that it was all stress. As in all in my head. Still pisses me off. Or poops me off ;).

          I have signed up for the 23 and Me IBD study– its a genetic study where all you have to do is provide a vial of saliva (I will send mine in tomorrow) and answer a survey. For years, I was told that it wasn’t genetic, that it didn’t run in families (in spite of the fact that every single female on my mother’s side of the family had some level of IBD — I got the prize though). Anyway, it’s free, and you might want to think about it. Info here: https://www.23andme.com/ibd/

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          • cordeliasmom2012
            June 10, 2016 at 0:00

            Interesting. I’ll check it out, Elyse, especially in light of the fact that mother had diverticulitis and my youngest daughter has ulcerative colitis, and a niece has ulcerative colitis. And come to think if it, my aunt had colon cancer. You can’t tell me it’s not at least partly genetic.

            Liked by 1 person

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            • Elyse
              June 10, 2016 at 0:00

              I wouldn’t even try! I was in the hospital for the first time at 17 when I learned that my mother’s eldest sister died of colitis in the 1920s … I kinda figured it out. and then everybody else got some level of it.

              Move along … nothing to see here …

              Liked by 1 person

              Reply
  13. Kate Crimmins
    June 10, 2016 at 0:00

    That is quite a pile!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. dinahmow
    June 10, 2016 at 0:00

    In Spain they steal puffed-up poo? Here, they tend to go more for bulls’balls.Well, they used to;it’s been a while since I heard of any life size testes being removed from Rockhampton’s sculptures.http://www.theage.com.au/news/queensland/take-the-bull-by-the–er-horns/2006/11/23/1163871531148.html

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Carrie Rubin
    June 10, 2016 at 0:00

    “a replacement excrement was already on order”—I would step back into the blog world any day for a statement like that. Leave it to you, Elyse, to find it! Thanks for a Friday smile. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Elyse
      June 10, 2016 at 0:00

      I added the “and shit” to the title just so you’d know you had to stop by! Hope the writing is going well.

      And my heart was broken last week. My doctor told me that poop transplants don’t work in Crohn’s patients. 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

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  16. notquiteold
    June 10, 2016 at 0:00

    I am also becoming an expert on poop. But I have no where near your experience. I can only aspire.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

Play nice, please.