April 4, 2016 · 0:00
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I Really Don’t Look for this Shit

Yeah, I know you don’t believe me. But I don’t go looking for this shit.  Really.

It’s just that, well, I spend a lot of time reading the news.  Because after all, you depend on me to let you know which way is up.  Or which way is down.  Or maybe just getting flush with it.

Because you see, a new museum has opened up, and we all need to get our asses over there.  — Mark, are you paying attention????

National Poo Museum opens doors on Isle of Wight

Just in time for you to plan your summer vacation! Can you imagine a better reward for your children, who suffered through the British Museum, the Tower of London and Madam Tussaud’s,  than the prize at the end of the tunnel than the National Poo Mueum?  The National Poo Museum, you will not be surprised to learn, is a museum dedicated to excrement, with examples from the animal and human world.

And it’s just opened up!

There are 20 kinds of poo captured in resin — who needs to bury or flush?

Poo Museum 1BBC Photo.  Because who else would claim this picture?

Because I couldn’t possibly make this up, I will just let you know exactly what they are producing at this museum:

The exhibition at the Isle of Wight Zoo features faeces from animals such as elks and lions as well as a human baby.

The National Poo Museum has been created by members of the artist collective Eccleston George.

“Poo is all around us and inside us, but we ignore it,” said co-curator Daniel Roberts.

Twenty illuminated resin spheres show off the different types of faeces with facts hidden behind toilet lids on the museum walls.

Poo Museum 2

They have handsome men offering fun activities.  Look!  Weigh your poo!  (But I promise you, this is a contest I would win.)

There is old poo and new poo.  Dino poo.  Seriously, if you have ever dreamed of dinosaur poo, this is your golden opportunity to see it.  Well, it’s probably more like black gold (Texas tea).

And I truly believe that what they say about poop is true:

“Small children naturally delight in it but later we learn to avoid this yucky, disease-carrying stuff, and that even talking about poo is bad,” he said.

“But for most of us, under the layers of disgust and taboo, we’re still fascinated by it.”

This is why I blog.

 

 

82 Comments

Filed under Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Bat-shit crazy, Childhood Traumas, Disgustology, DON'T go back to your day job either, Farts, GOP, Huh?, Humor, I Can't Get No, Oh shit, Poop, Seriously funny, Seriously weird, Shit, Shit happens, Toilets, Useful thing to do with poop, Why the hell do I tell you these stories?, Wild Beasts, WTF?

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82 responses to “I Really Don’t Look for this Shit”

  1. Alice
    April 11, 2016 at 0:00

    Uh. No offense to the folks behind this here museum…but between “ignoring poo” and “encasing it in resin and charging admission” lies a WIDE RANGE OF OPTIONS. Any one of which represents another path they could have taken…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. pouringmyartout
    April 7, 2016 at 0:00

    I might take my dog to that museum…

    Like

    Reply
  3. silkpurseproductions
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    It’s true. If anyone was going to find this and enlighten us with the knowledge of the existence of a poo museum, it would be you, Elyse. It is definitely your destiny to bring shit like this to our attention. (Yeah, I know)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. aFrankAngle
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    This is perfect … It seems they would make you the official promoter … give you promotional items and tickets to lead giveaways.

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. Merbear74
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    Might need to bring a can of Febreeze. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. Vanessa-Jane Chapman
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    The Isle of Wight is a lovely little island to visit, I’ve been there a few times. Not sure I’m in a big rush to go back and see the poo though. I thought I was going to click on the link and see that the story was posted on April 1, and I was going to say “Ha Elyse, you numbo jumbo!” But no.

    Liked by 1 person

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  8. Cortney
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    Just put this on my UK list (why not?) and will report back down the road!

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. timkeen40
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    I wonder if this will get any animal excrement activists up in arms because animal poo is being taken out of its natural environment. I am not so much surprised that there is such a thing. I just don’t know how the leap is made from morning coffee to “I think we need a poo museum.”

    Tim

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. valentinelogar
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    I have nothing to add, I have two grandsons I am certain they would love this. I am going to send a link to their father (their mother will hate me for it).

    I am so happy I can rely upon you for all things poo related.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Holly
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    How bad is it that my first thought was Isle of Wight COUNTY in Virginia and trying to figure out how far it was to get there one weekend? All in the name of reporting, of course…

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. Tippy Gnu
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    This is a museum for the young and old. It’s the in-betweeners who might not be so fascinated. I’m so enthused, I’d like to send this museum an artifact from my own home. But I had a lucky day, yesterday, so they’ll have to wait a few weeks before I can get together a package to mail.

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. Just Joan
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    Are you shittin’ me? My “kids” would love this! (Of course, they’re canine and thus fascinated by every type of poo they encounter.) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  15. Exile on Pain Street
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    Defies commentary. Really, this is what I’m greeted with after taking some time off?

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. pensitivity101
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    I shall be looking at Maggie’s offerings in a new lght having read this.
    Wonder if tthey will have a speial conrner for Politicans? After all, they all talk a load of BS. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  18. lifespaller
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    Fabulous! Hipster artisan poo.

    Like

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  19. Paul
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    Holy Shit!

    Like

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  20. List of X
    April 5, 2016 at 0:00

    You could look into making a donation to this museum’s collection, then deducting it from your taxes.

    Liked by 1 person

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  21. Trent Lewin
    April 4, 2016 at 0:00

    You just know this is going to be very popular… it’s going to go bonkers. And then it’ll franchise. And then there will be restaurants with poop murals on the wall, and I will be sitting under one drinking my coffee when something indescribable will happen, and I will think on this very moment, when you started something dire and terrible. I poop on this blog news. I poop on all of it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  22. kingmidget
    April 4, 2016 at 0:00

    I’m sorry, but this is just an absolutely shitty post. Made more shitty by the fact that you called me out in it.

    That said, I think we need to plan a joint trip. An excursion through the anals of crap, shall we say?

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  23. 1jaded1
    April 4, 2016 at 0:00

    Oh Elyse, you are my favorite news source. You embrace shit while the others choose to ignore it or deny it.

    Liked by 1 person

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  24. Victo Dolore
    April 4, 2016 at 0:00

    I am all over this like flies on a turd! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  25. dinahmow
    April 4, 2016 at 0:00

    Coprolitic ecstasy, if that’s your bag…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  26. Carrie Rubin
    April 4, 2016 at 0:00

    Ha, I heard about this. Definitely a unique, one-of-a-kind museum. Our zoo once had a poop exhibit. Was actually quite fascinating to learn about animal’s…er…fecal habits.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

Play nice, please.