It was one of the most embarrassing things about working at the World Health Organization for an American like me. My knowledge of geography really wasn’t all that hot.
I was pretty good at Europe. I knew that Italy is shaped like a boot, and Switzerland, where I was living, looked like a delicious croissant. Russia and China? No problem. South Africa and Chile — those were easy — they’re at the bottom (and I had been to Chile, so I knew that it was south).
It didn’t help that several countries changed names at the precise moment when I was trying to find them on the map. Yeah, I’m talking to you Burma/Myanmar.
But I’m a pretty quick study. My knowledge of geography grew daily as I had to figure out where the hell everybody was when they went away without me. Today I can proudly say that I, an American citizen, am no longer geographically challenged. I’m so good, I can even find Malawi on a map.
It’s right there at 4:00. Google Image.
So I will admit feeling a wee bit sanctimonious when I learned that the GOP wants to bomb every Arab city including Agrabah. Because I know where it can be found.
GOP voters support bombing Agrabah!
Those stupid Republicans! They don’t even know where Agrabah is! They don’t remember their, umm, history. I know that it’s the town from The Arabian Knights. Agrabah, the city of magic is the stuff of fiction, and folk lore and Disney movies.
Agrabah is where Aladin and Jasmin lived. The city they flew over on the magic carpet. Oh and the Genie. He was there too.
My bloggin’ buddy, Bruce Thiesen wrote an interesting piece about the GOP, that made me think that bombing Agrabah isn’t such a bad idea.
I figure, by focusing all our military efforts on Agrabah, we can rewrite Middle Eastern politics and history.
- We can shoot fictitious people instead of real flesh and blood ones!
- We can carpet bomb the hell out of a magic city instead of ones with bricks and mortar and things like hospitals and schools.
- We can demonstrate to the world that we are willing to use the most terrible of weapons if anybody tries anything on us, but without hurting a fly. Or a flying carpet.
Bombing the shit out of Agrabah will satisfy the blood lust of the Right Wing without hurting any real people. The GOP will be happy, the Military-Industrial Complex will get their $$$$$ and nobody gets hurt (well, except the taxpayers). It’s a win-win-win. Lots of wins.
This is how we give peace a chance.
I’m expecting the Nobel Peace Prize for this baby.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
I don’t think it’s entirely accidental that I “escaped the crap swirling around in the media today” by disappearing into two movies over the past week. First, I watched “Cold Mountain” with Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, and Renee Zellweger. The music is almost better than the movie, and the movie is astoundingly good. Then I watched (and rewatched again) the movie “Sherlock Holmes” with the genius actor/person Robert Downey, Jr. and hey, Jude Law was in this one, too. But what struck me most about happening upon these two movies is that they both demonstrate the horrors of war, and clearly illustrate how war affects the lives of every person, ( from every angle ), all while telling a story that isn’t necessarily about war. When telling a story about lives, and how they intertwine, it seems that war becomes the lead character, no matter how much you try to build the story around it. Which made me incredibly sad. Which defeated the whole purpose of escaping into a movie, if you catch my drift.
Even so, I tried to focus on something that could give me a bit of solace. So here’s the little jewel that was uncovered, despite all the bits of bodies and shattered bones and rivers of blood … during times of insanity and destruction, there will still be people who carry goodness in their hearts, and despite all the horrors, there will be moments of peace and perfection.
We’re really going to have to work at noticing the good parts, because we are surrounded by a cacophony of insatiable greed and destruction. It’s up to us to savor that which is salvageable and hold fast to those few precious moments of peace and perfection. I’m doubling up on my acts of kindness. That isn’t a New Year’s resolution. That’s a necessary act of survival.
I am compelled to put a smile in someone’s heart, even if only for a brief moment. If not a smile, then at least a tiny bit of comfort. With that in mind, I’m sending you my last ounce of frivolity. Please, I beg of you, do something ridiculously silly in the coming days, as we usher in the New Year. For one brief moment in time, let your heart sing. If you’re up for it, then I’ll promise to do the same. Let’s start off this New Year with a smile.
🙂
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A tall order; I’ll see what I can do. But I love your idea of being compelled to put a smile on someone’s face. That is a worthy goal for the new year!
And may 2016 be a wonderful, healthy and happy year for you!
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Important stuff to know, although even more important to be understanding and patient and tolerant.
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Peace, my friend! I need to brush up on my geography too!
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As long as you don’t try to bomb a place you can’t locate, it’s all good!
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Oh, I’m willing to bet you could find a gaggle of Progressives who would argue against bombing Agrabah, and not because it’s a cartoon. Because it’s bad policy. They come in all shapes and sizes.
A Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Interesting year coming up.
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Same to you, Mark. It’s gonna be a long year!
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And don’t forget that bombing it would be Obama’s fault.
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You’re right! How could I forget?!???
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Happy Holidays, to you and Right Ange!
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Thank you … and my Christmas post goes up in a few hours.
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Who are they going to send in to do this bombing? The Expendables? It would make sense. They are expendable and they always seem to come out alive no matter how freaking old they are. 😉
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The Expendables! No!!!! There’s no such thing. I suggest the Incredibles. Let’s send them. Because they are animated heroes; they will be the best suited to bomb a fictional city.
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You really need to consider running for President. 😉
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Oh, I couldn’t possibly do that. I take very long bathroom breaks 😉
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The more that would disgust any member of the GOP, the better in my book!
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Tee hee hee …
Happy Holidays, Lorna!
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Back at ya!
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I do like the idea of bombing a fictitious country. Whenever we’re attacked the urge to do ‘something’ is overwhelming, even if the ‘something’ has no direction correlation to the attack. Why not just invent a country to blame and annihilate?
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Sigh. Just when I semi-recuperated from W., along comes Trump. He makes W. look like Abraham Lincoln. We can’t elect this man. We can’t. No words.
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I have just enough faith in Americans to believe that Trump can’t possibly be elected. However, I really do fear that he’s opened a Pandora’s box filled with hate. We won’t be able to get that back inside.
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This is the first chance I’ve had to comment for a while. I’ve been in and out of the hospital, after being diagnosed with Cancer. I want you to know how much I love you and your blog! You’re always clever and insightful. You rock! Love to you and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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What! Are you ok???
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Well, it depends on what you consider ok. Lol. I’ve been managing. You know that Schoolhouse Rock Song “Lolly lolly lolly get your adverbs here”? I’ve been singing that, but substituting “tumors” for adverbs. ‘Cause, boy I’ve got a lot of ’em! (Sorry, if my attempt at humor is icky. That’s just how I deal.)
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You’re talking to the queen of poop jokes. You have to do what you need to do. If bad jokes are the ticket, let ’em rip!
Send me an email — tell me what’s going on. fifty.four.and.a.half @ gmail.com only without the spaces around the @
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Unfortunately, I am still Techless Dana, with the Maynard G Krebs email — it just doesn’t want to work! Is there anything you want to know? I can just type it here. I’ve always been Airman TMI*, anyway.
* because everyone always uses Captain or Major I decided to be different, and use an Airforce rank, instead 🙂
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OK. Type. Stage. Treatment. Prognosis. You know. What’s happening.
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Type, Kidney, but it’s spread to my liver, lymph nodes, chest and spine.
Stage left! — I mean stage 4 (Sorry, had to do an ode to Snagglepuss, there!)
The drs won’t tell me how long I have, they keep saying different people react differently to the trearment, which is oral chemo. (Basically the same chemo chemicals, but in pills, instead of IV)
As for prognosis, I keep asking “1 year? 5 years? 10 years? Give me an idea.” But they just won’t say! (Grrrrrr!)
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Oh dear, Dana. I don’t know what to say, especially here in the comments. That’s rough, I’m sure. Cancer treatments get better and better — I’m hoping that you respond well to them, and that Snagglepuss has 10 years before (s)he exists Stage Left (I LOVE Snagglepuss.) The drugs are improving and you never know what’s down the road. At this point, maybe a clinical trial will help you.
Keep strong. Keep your humor. Because shit. Laughin’ and cryin’ you know it’s the same release.
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Thank you, Elyse! Heavens to murgatroid, you knew exactly what to say! And you know I’ll keep that humor! It’s part of me, and part of why I love these blogs! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
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And why we love you. Sending you bloggy love! 😜. (Spell check actually changed bloggy to blighty! Oy
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Do you want me to contact other bloggers? Or post an update as to why you were absent?
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Thanks for stopping by my place, Dana, and for letting us know some details here. I echo what Elyse said – crying and laughter are opposite sides of the same coin. Try to keep your wonderful sense of humor.
Next St. Patrick’s Day my sister, Lib, will have been living with brain cancer for 5 years. So don’t lose hope, sweetie. I’m adding you to my prayer list.
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There are a lot of folks pulling for you!
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Thank you so much, Elyse and Peg! Your wonderful sentiments truly touch my heart! If there are any other bloggers who are curious about me, like Jibber, let them know and tell them I miss them!
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In the interest of Equal Opportunity Sneering, though, do you really think the average Democrat On The Street would get this one right, either? If so, I gotta say I don’t share your faith in the smartness of my fellow man, regardless of party.
I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person, but I live in terror that I’ll be out and about on a busy, city street someday and will be picked for one of those random interviews designed to test how the average ‘Murican is below average. Because I would SO flunk that test…or pass it, depending on your litmus test.
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Smart people avoid microphones!
In fairness i wouldn’t have gotten it immediately either. But knowing as I do that it is fictitious, bomb away!
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The other issue, which I would have failed the man on the street question though is larger. The average democrat on the street wouldn’t advocate bombing places they didn’t know the location of — and aren’t really all that enthusiastic about bombing places they DO know about.
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If only our invasion of Iraq had been fictitious. After all, their WMD’s were.
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That would have been awesome. Sadly, Baghdad was/is a real place. More rubble now than before, but still pretty real.
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If Jafar’s plot to take over had been successful, they probably would have been a problem for us
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That Jafar is right up there with the hunter who killed Bambi’s mom. Damn villans.
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I’ll get the ball rolling … #Jeanielivesmatter.
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Thanks, Tops. Does this make me a twat?
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The word twat has me nearly spitting my coffee out… no it just makes you clever & funny as usual.
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I think we should carpet bomb Argrabah – that is, bomb them from a flying carpet.
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That’ll make men out of them!
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Maybe we can just announce that we’ve done it. Dig up some old footage from Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria and loop it for a news cycle or two. Declare victory and move on.
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I LOVE this idea! Who would know?
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Just a few techies and suits back at the cable news companies.
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A few at theNew York Tines, but nobody will listen to them, either!
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Nobody in a red state, that’s for sure.
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Exactly! The world would be so much better off.
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Thanks, Elyse. Give peas a chance.
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And carrots. They go so well together! Thanks for stopping by!
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And here’s another example of people-don’t-know-shit: http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/week-god-121915
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The first story there in case that’s not clear.
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Yes. Thanks. Although the others were interesting, too.
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That’s a great story. We are all so incredibly ignorant.
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Which in itself is too bad but not the real problem. The problem is, instead of using our ignorance as a springboard for learning something new, we simply jump into judgment. I think it is a common failing for ALL of us. I have consciously been trying to work on that failure in myself. Getting better, still not good…
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Everybody is ignorant, because really, who can know everything? But there are some people who seem to thrive on it — as if their ignorance is a good thing.
*Raises Hand* “IT’s NOT!”
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Reblogged this on Our View From Iowa and commented:
Elyse nails it with her win-win-win-win analysis here. Take a look at her blog post and leave comments there, please.
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Thanks, Melanie! Don’t we live in an incredibly stupid world?
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If you don’t know pretend to know so you don’t look stupid. Well, it’s hard not to look ‘stoopid’ when you are. But good idea, bomb a fictitious place and people.
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I can often fake it (and do!) but when you have to point to a place you’ve never even heard of on a map, ummm, you get caught rather quickly!
And yes. Let’s bomb those Disney characters to smithereens!
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Omygosh, really? *Head pops off*
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If that happened in Agrabah, you could pop it right back on!
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Reminds me of the movie, Wag the Dog. Nothing like a fake war to keep the money flowing.
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Although there are better uses for it for sure, I’d rather waste the money than the lives!
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You’ve got my vote…the real question is why are so many Americans are so ignorant?
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Some of it is our own geography — we’re so far away from everybody that we don’t travel there easily. It’s the same reason we aren’t good at languages. We don’t need to know where places are because we won’t go there; we don’t need to know languages because we won’t go where they’re spoken. So some of it is understandable.
But if you’re going to advocate war, you damn well better know where the place you’re bombing/sending troops to IS. Oh, and whether it actually exists.
Oy.
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