Many years ago, John decided that he and I should buy a Bed & Breakfast somewhere in picturesque New England and leave the Washington DC area behind us.
“No,” I said immediately, the first time he procured an ad for one.
My husband didn’t understand why I wasn’t jumping at the chance.
“Why not? It’s perfect for us!”
“What would your role be at “our” B&B?”
“Well, I’d …”
I stared him down, believe me. Because you see, John doesn’t cook. He doesn’t clean. And he’s an introvert. If you are an old friend or family, John will welcome you graciously. Otherwise, he will say hello, and quickly make his way to another room and go back to his book.
And his lack of handy-man skills is legendary.
I would have to do the cooking, the cleaning, the welcoming, the chatting everybody up. I’d have to work the toilet plunger.
“No,” I repeated. “I do not want to run a B&B.”
But YOU might want to. YOU — You know — the person reading this, scratching his/her/its head.
This morning I learned about a wonderful opportunity. The owner of the Deerfield Valley Inn is retiring, and holding a contest for her replacement B&B-er. Check out the link on the Huffington Post. And do listen to the video in that link and hear all the particulars.
The Deerfield Valley Inn
For $150 and the winning essay, the Deerfield Valley Inn can be yours. The essay? Here’s your prompt; in 250 words or less tell the current owner your story:
“This is my dream: To own and operate a Vermont country inn.”
I’m having trouble getting the link about the contest to load, so here is a Hotels.com video of the Deerfield Inn so you can see it.
We are all writers, here, in the ‘sphere. One of us should be able to nail this contest and change their life.
Go for it!
And save a nice room for me for Columbus Weekend, Fall 2016!
FiftyFourandAHalf 
For some reason this sounds so familiar. I’m not sure if I read about it before, or if I owned a B&B in a previous life. Maybe I was that chick with the sweaters who was married to Bob Newhart.
This is one of those ideas that SOUNDS good, but would be a ton, ton, ton of work. Good for you for keeping it real.
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Maybe being s mom you just felt like you ran one?
But there is no way I’d do that. Even if john agreed to wield the plunger!
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He would say he’d wield the plunger, but that’s like when your kids want a dog and promise to feed it and clean up after it. THAT lasts about a week, then Natural Mom Will Do It Lethargy takes over.
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When Tom and I were able to travel, we stayed at B&Bs whenever possible. Once we learned we always wanted a private bath, one with fewer than 4 to 5 guest rooms total and the owner needed to live on site and not someone they hired – we learned the service was top notch and always to our liking. We aren’t the usual travelers however. We go to a destination where we stay someplace several nights and take day trips from that place. This has always allowed us to enjoy the sites of one location before moving on to another. It also provides a more interesting stay and we learn more about the local area. I can honestly say, we’ve never had a bad B&B experience and I’ve had hundreds of bad hotel and motel experiences.
I can hardly wait for Tom to get on his feet again so that we might travel.
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I hope that happens for you soon!
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I just love when “WE” is presented to “ME”. If it wasn’t for all the work involved I would love to have a B&B. I just stay in them for now.
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Yeah. The work! There’s always a catch!
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Too much work and socializing and strangers staying in my home. Gah!
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Yup!
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Usually you have to have another source of income besides running the B&B. If you go to Vermont, you find all sort of places like “B&B, bridal shop, live bait, maple syrup, and guns.” You better make sure you can offer the public something else, if you want to venture into this endeavor.
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And THAT is one of the many reasons I don’t!
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I think this is one of those middle-class couple conversations we all have to have. The Boffin and I entertained the idea, saw all the work that would be needed, and said, “Forget it.”
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My husband and I stayed at a B&B this summer where the wife did everything and the husband came out, said hello, and disappeared. It was a beautiful inn. She survived by putting contractors on retainer. Husband was happy–she was happy. Personally, I could never run an inn. Too many people drive me nuts! 🙂
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Me too. Starting with a husband who wouldn’t help!
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What if I’m fundamentally incompetent with tools and completely unable to take care of a small household, am often inebriated and singing poorly while being so, have no real business sense, and hate it when strangers are living in my house but am okay as a writer?
Elyse, if I enter and win this B&B, I’m hiring you to take care of it.
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You sound a whole lot like me, actually Trend. So I could do it myself but noooooooo.
You win it and you’re stuck with it!
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Crap. With my luck, I will win…
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Be careful what you wish for is certainly the adage here!
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Couldn’t someone just win it and live in it?
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I wouldn’t put that in the essay!
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Well no ha! But one could b.S. their way through it and then just live in it. Free house almost!
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Maybe, if it were somewhere warm 90% of the year. But not as a B&B, as a writers retreat…oh yeah. I would hire a very handsome handyman though and since it was warm 90% of the year, I would have a pool thus a very handsome pool boy as well….oh, I am getting away from myself. Dear Gawd.
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You gave me a good belly laugh with this one, Val.
I am wishing you handsome handymen and pool boys for the rest of your days!
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My husband has that pipe dream as well! And I’ve had the exact same conversation, namely I’ve been cooking and cleaning for years already, why would I want to do more of that in my retirement???
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Yeah! Isn’t something supposed to change when you retire?!
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If I was 20 years younger maybe. But now, the work to keep strangers happy, fed and comfortable not to mention cleaning several bedrooms in addition to bathrooms and living areas. Doesn’t sound like retirement. Nope no essay in the writing here.
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It’s nearly unanimous — nobody wants it! Where do all the inkeepers come from?!?!
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Perky young housewives I suspect.
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Nooooooo! Not the perky ones!!!!
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They have to have energy. They don’t need to be gorgeous.
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I’m like John. Except I know it and he doesn’t. 🙂
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Who has the energy to run a B&B? Not me! Never me!
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Me neither! Nor the desire!
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If I had the energy, and was physically fit, and wasn’t tired all the time, and my back didn’t hurt when I lean over or just get up in the morning, and my knees didn’t hurt when I put any pressure on them, and I didn’t get sore shoulders just from stirring a pot, and my wrists didn’t ache suddenly without warning, and I didn’t get short of breath and dizzy for unknown reasons, and my right lung didn’t hurt when I take deep breath, and the whole right side of my torso didn’t ache for unknown reasons, and I didn’t feel like all the gravity there was in the universe was pushing me down into this recliner… then I might think about it.
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I know just what you mean!
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I always suspected that we were kindred souls! 🙂
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Sounds like my husband. He talked about having a vegetable garden for several years (like his Grandma who raised him), and I actually thought that meant he was going to go something about it. When I finally made a small raised bed, he had nothing to do with it unless I picked the produce, prepared it and served it on his dinner plate. After chasing slugs for about 3 summers, I stopped gardening. If he brings it up, I just point to the box of overgrown weeds and tell him to have at it.
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Actually John does all the gardening at our house — not vegetable, but lawn and flowers. It is a mess, but then I don’t have to do it so I don’t complain!
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Now, if the prompt started with, “It’s always been my nightmare to run a Vermont B&B,,,” I’d be in the same room with John when the guests arrived! I don’t even like chatting with the owners and guests when I stay at a B&B. What’s wrong with me???? 😐
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I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you (or the rest of the folks who commented) — everybody is different. That’s a good thing.
I like chatting it up with folks, except when I don’t. And that would be one of the problems with ME running a B&B. I am usually willing to be the storyteller, the entertainment. But sometimes, I just don’t want to be. And then it ain’t pretty!
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Eh, just watch a bunch of Newhart. The mood will pass. 😀
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Actually, we stayed in a very “Very Newhart-y” Inn on our honeymoon … https://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2014/02/01/the-honeymooners/ It was memorable. And another reason I would never under any circumstances run one!
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I love the idea of running a B&B until I think about the idea of running a B&B. No. Thanks! 🙂
PS Hubbs is equally non-handy. Had to laugh at your description of your guy, MJ
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You said that so well — love the idea until I think about the idea! And yes, it sounds like our husbands between them could destroy civilization.
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Oh man… my wife and I were just talking about retirement plans when we went out for Mexican food last weekend… and had drinks… and I said we should open a hotel on Maui… and she asked what I would do… and… you know the rest…
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Yes, because that is EXACTLY the conversation John and I had. I would do the cooking, the cleaning, the entertaining and he would, ummm, what? Thanks, but no thanks!
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I told her we should hire locals to do the work… ha!
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That’s my husband’s idea, too. Wouldn’t it be nice …
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it would…
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We’ve stayed at a few B&B’s over the years and are left with the impression that it’s a crap-shoot. For obvious reasons, there’s no consistency to them. Duh.
The driving impulse for their owners is apparently to over-decorate in order to attract customers. We stayed in one up in Independence MO that was so ornate it made me dizzy! Polkadots, doilies and little flowers all over the place. But like some other commenters, what we want mostly when away from home is cleanliness, space and a good bathroom. Which reminds me, why don’t motels have walk-in showers? The tub thing isn’t a death trap, but as I age it seems more and more like one. 🙄
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It is a lot easier to decide if you want to stay in one with the internet. John and I spent our honeymoon in a series of them. Some were wonderful. One was memorable (https://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2014/02/01/the-honeymooners/)
You’re right about both the big three: cleanliness, space and a good bathroom as well as the shower!
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No way Jose…..
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That seems to be the prevailing sentiment!
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Good try, I’m joining the chorus of readers banding together not to buy a B&B.
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This one is a deal, though, Frank! Just think of the blogging fodder!
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Now that’s funny … but I’d rather by golfing, dancing, or on a cruise ship.
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Clip included Jindal, Cruz, Paul, Huckabee, Walker, and Trump.
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I think we’re getting our wires and our comments confused! Answering comments in the bubbles does that to me!
I think the clip you’re talking about was on YOUR blog!
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The clip I was referring to is the one (reactions of the candidates to Davis) I just saw on CNN.
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Oh.
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I don’t even want to STAY in a B&B, much less run one. My Bride and I have tried several, including a few in England, and we always feel like we’re paying to stay in someone’s house…which is exactly what we’re doing. We have to be polite in the morning and not trash the room too much because, after all, this is someone’s HOME. I like hotels. You can throw the towels on the floor and magic elves come in during the day and replace them. At the end of our stay we always TIP the magic elves but, somehow it would feel creepy to tip someone for staying in their home.
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I like to stay at them — although these days I’m too cheap to do so. We stay in one regularly on our way to and from Maine. It’s actually a B&D, though. Owned and operated by my brother and his wife who are amazing cooks. We arrive in time for dinner. We are the only guests because it isn’t a real B&D. And we never have to tip. It’s the BEST place! (although I wouldn’t dream of leaving my towels on the floor and I make the bed, too)
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Sounds great to me Elyse. Please send address!
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I would do it but there’s only one problem [fishing around purse]: I don’t have $150. I don’t even have $1.50 to spare at this point. Think they’ll consider my essay if I include a pack of Tic Tacs?
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For your brilliant essay, Darla, I’m sure they would!
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Oh no, I do not want to run a B&B. I really do think it might be Dante’s first circle of hell.
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Yes!!
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Definitely not my dream – what if I win, get the B&B, expand it into a hotel, then two, then three, and 20 years later I realize that I’ve turned into Donald Trump?
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That would be terrifying. Alternatively , you could mess up your hair, slump your shoulders and become Bernie Sanders!
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Ha! So not for me. I did think of buying three lake cottages on the lake and renting them ala hotel style. I’ve stayed at good and bad. The worst was when we stayed at one in Maine…As I exited the bathroom, there was a GUY waiting out in the hallway. I was only 17 and it freaked me out bc I’ve never heard of a communal bathroom. On the flip side, there was a gorgeous one my ex and I happened upon in Caseville.
With my luck, I’d submit an essay and win. Not gonna tempt fate. Thanks for the good read!
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Isn’t it funny how freaked out we got about men and bathrooms when we were younger? I remember nearly wetting my pants at a fancy hotel restaurant in Canada on my honeymoon when there was a MALE attendant in the ladies room (WTF?)
But you’re right not to tempt fate. Because if you just did it as a lark and won, well, you’d be up the creek (or in the lake, or up a mountain since it’s Vermont!)
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Vermont is a beautiful state full of beautiful, liberal people. I love those people. I’d do great things for them if I lived there. And you’re a smart lady for suggesting this. Not like that bloody Megyn witch on Fox. Or whatever. But a B&B wouldn’t work for me. I’d drive all the customers away, because I’m such a loudmouthed lout. Especially if they’re Mexicans. And I love Mexicans. But I’d build a big wall around the B&B to keep them out anyway. And I’d make them pay for it. I’m worried they might rape me. Or whatever.
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Thank you for reading my humble blog post, Donald!
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This is one of those ideas that has tantalized me for years. And I’m not sure why. I have no doubt that running a B & B is not easy, that there’s a lot of hard work involved. But, at the same time … I love to cook. Although an introvert, the idea of hosting people and getting to know them and all that intrigues me. Where I always get hung up is on the “handyman” aspect of this. The simple reality is that most B & Bs seem to be places that need work. And that just isn’t me.
But, you know …
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Go for it. You get the place f or $150. You can afford the plumber!
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I’m thinking …. thinking … thinking …
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Start writing writing writing!
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I know … that 250 word limit though. that’s a tough one.
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Cut cut cut cut cut. You should write one — at least for the fun of it. Otherwise the time I spent carefully crafting this post will be in vain.
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It’s a nice job for somebody, but not me. I couldn’t run a bath.
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Great line!
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Sounds like a fabulous chance for the right person or person’s. I am not the one but thanks for sharing.
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There seems to be a consistent tendency among folks who read my blog!
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I actually saw this on another site some time ago. I don’t know how long it is open to entries but I’ve managed to resist so far. Ha! If I’m not mistaken wasn’t this the favorite of a famous gangster?
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You’re probably outgoing enough, and you’d have the best stories to tell the guests. But you’d be stuck with US radical insurance. Soooooo
I don’t know about the gangster. Bit sound intriguing!
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It’s a great opportunity no doubt, but as an introvert, I don’t even STAY at B&Bs let alone want to run one.
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You know, I’m shocked, shocked, Carrie! I thought you’d be submitting multiple entries! Just kidding, of course I knew you’d pass on this one.
I love staying at B&B’s; but I would not want to run one — even if I had a partner who cooked, cleaned and fixed stuff!
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We stayed at one once on the East coast when there was no other option. I was so uncomfortable when the owners wanted to talk to us. Needless to say we skipped the breakfast part.
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It could be a great deal for someone, but I’ll pass, thank you. I can barely keep my mini-house clean. And I don’t particularly like people.
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Somehow, between you and Carrie, I don’t think I’m going to be staying in that Inn next fall …
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