When we lived in Switzerland and just across the border in France in the late 1990s and early 2000s, one of the biggest problems was finding healthcare. Now I realize that I worked at the World Health Organization, but the docs there were researchers, primarily, meeting goers-to-ers. They weren’t your every day heal-the-sick kind of doctors.
In addition to not knowing the ropes of a foreign system, there was the language barrier. I mean, frankly, it is difficult to describe illnesses in English — I always feared that I would go in with a sore throat and end up without an important body part. I didn’t realize that that could happen right here in the good old U.S. of A. In fact, that just happened recently when a man went in for a routine procedure and, ummm, had a life changing event. Allegedly.
So in 2002, we moved home to the U.S. where I could communicate and get medical treatment for $197,238.73 per word.
Today, though, I’m rethinking that decision. Maybe we acted in haste. Maybe we should have thought twice or three times. Maybe we should go back.
No, I’m not sick. In fact, with my English-speaking doctors I’m doing quite well.
But there is one thing that I could get in France that I cannot get here: wine.
French hospital to open wine bar to cheer up terminally ill
PARIS – A hospital in the French city of Clermont-Ferrand is to open a wine bar where terminally ill patients will be able to enjoy a “medically-supervised” glass or two with their families.
Vive la France, where the terminally ill can get “medically supervised” alcoholic beverages. I hear the wine is to die for.
UPDATE!!!
If I DO go back to die with wine in my hand/throat/tummy, somebody else needs to pick it out. I have an amazing skill crafted while living inside of or within spitting distance of France.
I can go into any store in France and leave with a bottle of awful wine. It’s a talent. A gift. Not many folks can claim it.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
Oh, and on days like today where the hubs is out of town and I’ve been driven to self-medicate…..a Big Mac and soda did the trick. 🙂
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oohhhh, mj brownies, yessssss.
Okay, I also always pick out shitty wine, every single time. I can’t pick out good cheese, either. it’s either too stinky or too blah. And the last two nice dinners I attended, I picked out the worst entrée. WTF?
I’m super jealous you got a chance to live overseas! I can’t even imagine what a great experience that was. I’m sure there were hassles and odd stuff to deal with, too, but…..still….cool.
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I would rather go someplace where they serve mj brownies since I don’t like wine.
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I plan to go for both! But not too soon for either of us, Benze!
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Healthcare: Whine in America, wine in France. Sounds the same, but quite a difference.
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Well said!
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Wine for me … twist my arm … wine for me! Meanwhile, how can doctors make that mistake. Come on now … I would have hoped not even in Alabama … but a mistaken schwantzectomy instead of a circumcision?
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I think that there is more to the story — the record is now sealed as a result of the law suit. And as I so often do, in this one I really doubt the claim of the plaintiff — unless his surgeon was Lorena Bobbitt, I’m betting there is a whole ‘nuther story here.
And I think the wine idea is a really nice one. Of course, not everybody at that point is awake enough to drink — and that’s probably just as well.
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Absolutely more to the story …. and Paul Harvey would have brought it out.
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The story or his penis?
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Either or both!
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I would be willing to bet I could pick a lousy bottle of wine.
That video? LOL!! (and I never lol anything) “Maybe he didn’t have one when he came in” bahahahaha!
I agree on the gazillon questions. I can’t remember the last time I went to the dr. It is their job to find something wrong with you ya know. But I am ok with the repetitive questions, like the stricter security for flying. I am getting on that plane and I would be happy to know that everything has been done to assure some jerk isn’t gonna start it on fire with his bic lighter.
I can’t imagine living anywhere but here. Some little part of my brain is sure that all those other places are made up. Even places in the US. Rhode Island? that’s not even a real place. HA. The world doesn’t exist behind me! 😉
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I don’t know if you could pick a bad bottle of wine in France, though. That takes special talent!
Living overseas really was terrific. I will be forever grateful that i got the opportunity — in spite of the zillions of hassles. The views from our house in Switzerland, alone, was pure magic. And I would never have gone to many of the places I got to travel to.
As a New Englander (from CT) I am not quite sure that Rhode Island exists either. But it sounds pretty nice — I mean ocean front is always lovely, isn’t it?
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I couldn’t agree more, until Mother Nature gets angry, course when that happens it doesn’t matter too much where you are, you’re gonna get it.
I think it wonderful that you had that opportunity. I don’t think I could do it, I would be scaird to death. I’d have to trick myself into believing I was just going on a vacation. which would still probably give me enough anxiety to kill a large mammal.
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Ahhh…I miss being able to buy a paté, baguette to spread it on and one wonderful, inexpensive bottle of wine for lunch that lasted a few days. Talk about an affordable lunch.
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I’ll skip the pate and double the wine!
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Let me know what country I would have to die in to get a couple of shots of good Scotch.
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Scotland?
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Too easy. 😉
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You asked for it!
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Would it be wrong if my fellow medical assistants and I sip wine from our coffee mugs on our lunch break? I mean, as long as I remember to ask the patient if he wants his penis cut off, it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?
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As long as you share, it should all be fine … and of course, that’s the key. Sharing. Because medicine is very much like kindergarten!
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Vive la revolution? I love France. Look dude, I watched that penis cutting video. I’m sure it’s total malarkey, but it made me very queasy and forced me to drink beer. You’ve driven me to the drink.
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I will take credit, not blame, for that development!
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You may end up taking a LOT of credit.
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I also think veterinary ERs should have bars to comfort the humans there with sick pets.
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YES! Although when it was time for Cooper to go last summer, the vet came to our house. Thus we didn’t need to drive …
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If I know I am dying, I am going for something a little stronger than wine… maybe something with a piece of pineapple and a little umbrella in it…
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And I hope that you’ll put that umbrella in your hair!
I love those drinks!
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I always put the umbrella behind my ear.
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Me too! We are twinsies
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yay
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i was going though a small operation recently and had occassion to be happy about the “hundreds of times asked” policy. I was having a stent put in my left kidney (radiation damage from cancer treatment) and the right had already been done – they do them one at a time. I was lying on a gurney ouside the operating room and had already talked to everyone from the janitor(he was passing by) to the anesthesiologist. Oodles of quesions and each one checking my identity (except the janitor). The surgeon came along, checked who i was and, brandishing an X-ray, said “So, we’re puting a stent in the right kidney today.” Me: “Umm, no. The right side is already done, we’re doing the left side.” Frown from him as he holds up the X-ray and scrutinizes it. Scratches head. Then a big smile appears and he flips the X-ray over and says “Ah. No problem. Radiology mislabelled the X-ray with ‘Anterior’ on the back and ‘Posterior’ on the front. Sorry about that.” Said in a light tone as if this wasn’t a problem and would never have interfered anyway – which it so would have. Now I feel really warm and fuzzy. Anyway, they got the proper kidney..
The moral of the story is: time for a glass of wine.
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Well that was a close call, wasn’t it. These questions DO make a difference!
Sorry you have (and have had) such a rough road, Paul. Chronic health issues suck. So do have a glass of wine!
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You’re too hard on yourself, Elyse. Your wine was fine. (I’ve never met a bottle of wine I didn’t like or drink.) As for the medically supervised wine tasting, you realize the doctor also gets to imbibe, right?
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My wine was fine , that’s true. But only because I bought SWISS — I even smuggled it across the border into France when we moved.
There is no such thing as a bad Swiss wine.
My doctors are welcome to join me!
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Truth is always stranger. Wow. Glad I never had a penis to begin with…hazardous.
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They are damn dangerous things. Combine it with testosterone and alcohol …
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So that’s the problem. I knew something must be missing.
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Are you missing the alcohol or the testosterone?
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My twenties and thirties. That’s what I’m missing.
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I will go with you! We can drink ourselves under the beds in our adjoining rooms.
Okay, so was this a joke? Did they really cut it off?
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Party in Ward Six!
It’s not clear from the reports I read what really happened, and since a law suit was filed immediately the details aren’t out there. At the moment, this is an allegation by a man against a hospital. It could be true, or it could be a scam. Or even something in between. Or perhaps the dude measured incorrectly to begin with ;).
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Also available in Australia at some hospitals. I regretted not ordering it at my last minor surgery.
Selecting a bottle of bad French wine is easy, so don’t feel bad. Having grown up in the middle of four Australian wine growing areas (with much tasting practice), I never figured out European wine during my residence there. I think they heard my rubbish French language and hid the good stuff.
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We Americans are such Puritans … I was actually allowed wine (just a bit) after my melanoma surgery (my latest) which was wonderfully civilized.
I’m not the only one with that talent? That makes me feel sooooo much better. And I didn’t even go for the cheap stuff. I spent a lot of money on cooking wine!
But when I’m dying, I want them to pull out those tubes and start pouring!
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You guys keep the rest of us boozers in check. As an architect, if I ever design palliative care I’m putting a beer garden in each facility and a bar fridge in each room. Also excellent acoustical separation between rooms for last minute parties.
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Now I want red wine.
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You can wine but not whine. Deal?
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Yes, mother.
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I’m with the french on this one. There are few places you could use a stiff drink more than a hospital.
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Especially if you’re the patient 😉
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When I got older, I realized that “Dr.” is a very loose term. My sister is a professor in a small college. She’s a “Dr.” of rhetoric. My brother said if you don’t have a waiting room full of patients, you’re probably not a doctor.
I didn’t click on that video. Thanks for the offer but some things can’t be un-seen.
A good bottle of Pinot noir can cure what’s ailing you. It’s a FACT.
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Mark, you didn’t want to see the reenactment?!? I am shocked, shocked.
My boss is a real doctor without patients — both ways — MD and PhD. I should call her Doctor Doctor I guess!
And wine is a wonderful invention And a great way to “go.”
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“Doctor! Doctor! Give me the news…!” I guess that’s where that came from.
Yes, I am too squeamish to hit play. I’d make a lousy doctor doctor.
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There is a song for everything!
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Of course in the right state, you could medicate with marijuana….Just saying…
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True, Kate. And i could do it in English! But I’d have to opt for edibles as the smell makes me nauseous. Not that I’ve ever smelled it, of course 😉
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A friend told me the brownies were delicious. Of course I wouldn’t know for sure.
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😉
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I always forget you worked for WHO. I have to tell you, my husband works for WHO and our health insurance SUCKS ASS. You would think that the WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION would have decent health insurance, right? Non. Sucks. So I self medicate. With wine 😉
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I didn’t know he was with WHO! I loved working there actually — saving the world was great for my self-esteem. And it enabled me to become a medical writer, which is a great way to make peanuts.
As for their insurance, we were covered under my husband’s job — I was a contract hire.
And if you self medicate with wine, you are obviously French. Or European.
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I think he liked saving the world on the peace keeping side better, you know, he’s a guy. Stupid insurance. The worst part is that the Danes have a decent socialized health care system that we are NOT entitled to. Granted, we don’t pay Danish taxes so I get it, but still!
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Very good idea. I used to go to Paris on business once in a while, and the company cafeteria I visited always had the option of wine with lunch. I thought that made working in Paris a very attractive option.
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That way you only have to work a half day because you fall fast asleep around 2 pm!
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I fall asleep at 2 even without the wine. I am rather famous for falling asleep at work.
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Why sleep on your own time? But then you deal with numbers which I only look at when I have insomnia!
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As an accountant I can state with authority that numbers plus a nice lunch equals a 2 PM nap.
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You know, so do my drugs!
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I just had a surgery this week and literally, about 10 times, they checked the name on my hospital wristband, they checked that the procedure written down was what I was supposed to be having, and I was who my name band said I was. I suppose to avoid – ahem – accidental castration.
Give me wine any day. After hearing that story, I think I’m ready for a glass. The French are so civilized.
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The French are civilized but only where alcohol is concerned. They cannot, for example, wait in line.
But as to the barrage of questions everybody asks when you’re in the hospital, I know they are incredibly annoying. And repetitive. And annoying. But I’ve read the studies and the number of medical errors has been cut significantly by that protocol. (I actually have been hospitalized before and after they started doing that. Before they tried to do many wrong things to me and gave me the wrong drugs (I refused them). So I try to keep that in mind when reciting my name, birthdate and procedure the 1,978th time.
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Oh absolutely…I didn’t mind at all..found it reassuring, actually!
I had a French (Lyonnaise) roommate in university. He taught me how brie should really taste 🙂
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Mmmmmmmm
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Yup. Lifelong love of cheese. He would buy the regular stuff and leave it on the top of the fridge for 3 days. Dudes from Lyon do know their food!!
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Lyon has the best food in France. Yummmmmm
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I still remember the dinners I had there. Oh gosh, now I need wine and cheese!
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But you need to wait 3 days 😉
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Wine and pain killers best kind of combination. That poor man I hope they can fix him.
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Certainly if you are about to go, that will help!
As for the man, there are questions, of course raised by lawyers over whether or not he had one when he got there. I guess it’s possible that he left it in his other pants 😉
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You’re silly. 😆
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Ooops. I need to go check the wash real quick. That dryer shrinks everything up.
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🙂
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I’m just gonna leave this here: http://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4
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Brilliant! You are a gem, Laura!
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I’m not much of a wine drinker, but better that than castration.
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You develop a taste for it. Wine that is. Probably not castration.
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Probably? You only get to try it once…
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It’s no skin off my … Well you know.
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Your ear? Your nose? Your toes? Don’t leave me hanging!
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So to speak
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Man, I can’t pull anything on you…
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Only because I’d have you arrested!
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Meanie.
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A glass or two a day is heart healthy, and good for moral. I don’t see the problem at all.
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I don’t either. And if you’re going to die anyway, ummmmm … drink the bottle! It is much better than having one’s penis cut off.
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Much better. Much, much better. I can’t even properly quantify how much better it actually is.
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