Since the Age of Exploration gave way to colonization of the Americas, folks living in our neck of the woods here in the U.S. of A. have feared travel back to the Old Country.
They feared crossing the ocean on a sailing vessel, a steamer, an ocean liner. It is a big ocean. (Remember the unsinkable Titanic)
They feared flying over the Atlantic in a dirgible (Remember the Hindenburg)
They feared flying over the Atlantic in an airplane because anything can happen.
But mostly they feared trying to get by in a language they could neither speak nor understand. That, and they use different money over there!
In recent years, though, more and more Americans are venturing abroad. Seeing the sights, the art, the scenery, the architecture that Europe is so justly famous for.
But all that will end soon. Because there is something new in Europe to fear.
Vaginas. Yup. Vaginas. Big ones. At least that’s what I read over at Talking Points Memo
A Giant Vagina Attempted to Swallow An American Tourist (Photo AP Photo / Feuerwehr Tübingen via TalkingPointsMemo)
Giant Vagina Sculpture Traps US Student in Germany
An American exchange student who got stuck in a giant vagina sculpture was freed by firefighters in southwestern Germany.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
I’m surprised the sculptor didn’t anticipate the irresistible photo lure, and provide an easier means of entry (and exit).
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You would think that. But even with real ones, it gets complicated!
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Why is it when we read things like this little adventure it is never a “European”, or “Brazilian” or “Japanese” student? Why is it always an American? What does this say about our culture? Never mind, I know what it says…I pretty much just read it in the above comments. 😉
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Actually, I think it is the fact that nudity, sex, body parts, etc. are not on display here (remember Attorney General John Ashcraft covering up the boobs on the statue of justice?). That makes juveniles of all men who aren’t used to it. Another stupid repercussion of our Puritan past.
Shortly after we moved to Switzerland, 6 year old Jacob looked up at a sculpture of a naked woman on a street in Geneva. “Mom, why do they have all these naked statues.” I responded that Europeans think that the human body is beautiful. “Ah, Europe,” he said with a smile …
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Your Jacob…wise beyond his years. 😉
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Do you realize that this may keep our politicians from their usual junkets to Europe? I mean, Giant Vaginas? They’re already scared to death of the normal sized ones!
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I think you’re right–at least publicly they profess a “hands-off approach” (I.e., family values). About this and so much more, they are terrible hypocrites, aren’t they.
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Giant vaginas have a way of causing chaos … and to think my lack of notifications almost caused me to miss this post.
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Oh dear. I think it is just Word Press’s way of keeping us on our toes. Dropping our notifications, not permitting publication of blogs about giant vaginas.
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Definitely unfair.
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How do you ever explain this? Oh, yes I had a nice trip except for when the fire brigade had to come & extricate me from a vagina. Hahahahahahaha!
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Certainly enough reason to keep me safely in the U S of A. Hilarious…
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Good — wouldn’t want to stretch anybody’s mind. Or other body parts! 😉
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He obviously went in without the vagina’s permission!
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Kind of like a burglary!
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I have no words. Laughing too hard.
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Read my response to Trent if you need another one!
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Laughter, I now know why I have insomnia tonight. I needed to read your blog as I really needed a good laugh.
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My blog, a cure for insomnia. I wonder of I can make any money off that’
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Considering I was up until 6 a.m. – I probably would have paid for a dose of anything that would have put me to sleep but I’d like to have a guarantee that I’d wake up also.
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Sleep well tonight, Sheri!
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This happens to me like all the time.
Damn, I have so much to say here… so many things spring to mind. And all of them are just wrong wrong wrong.
Hilarious, dude. Hilarious.
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Wasn’t it. But it would be worse if I were in Germany looking at the sculpture. Because I’m not sure I would recognize it and I’m positive I wouldn’t recognize the German word for “vagina”
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Great. Now I have to google the German word for vagina:
vaginen. Well, that wasn’t very exciting.
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Sometimes, it is just better to wonder.
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OMG! I roared with laughter! I’m choking. Thanks for this great ending to my day (no pun intended).
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I thought it was really funny, too. Poor guy!
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This is probably the only time he’s ever tried to get OUT of one!
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You’re probably right about that!
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Maybe, contrary to Star Trek, space isn’t the “final frontier” where no man has dared to go. Looks like men have some exploring to do a bit closer to home and it’s just as thrilling. 😉
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“The space between the legs: the final frontier?” I think it would be the space between a woman’s ears that will be last, sadly, for many men. None that it know personally, of course.
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Well, the idea was that women remain a total mystery to men, no matter what part they are trying to figure out… 😐
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🙂
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The bigger question here is ….why is there a giant vagina in the first place? As for this young man he now has the best vacation moment E V A H!
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You would think with the obesity epidemic that there should be plenty of giant vaginas, wouldn’t you, Tops?
As for this guy — I think he will, ummm, la low for a while!
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Pish. Men get trapped by giant vaginas all the time. It happens every day, in fact. I don’t know why this made news. Next.
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Move along. Nothing to see here!
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Well, that may have been a bit crude but you HAD to know that was going to happen. Don’t pitch it over the plate and not expect someone to swing for the fence.
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No! I was playing along with your joke/comment. I thought it was funny. And for the record, yup, I was throwing softballs!
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That caption is hilarious. I wonder if he will have nightmares of being swallowed for the rest of his life.
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It could have only gotten stranger if he’d been dressed as a giant sperm
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From the vagina they come and for the rest of their lives into the vagina they try to climb back in.
😉
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Ain’t it the truth, ain’t it the truth!
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hahaha!!
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Yup!
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I always support exploration of built environment. This is clearly a safe-design problem. Vagina was either too small to allow curious tourists full access, or too big to prevent curious tourists’ exploratory behaviors. I’ll remember this next time I order a vagina sculpture for an architectural project to get the size right. Thanks.
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I think it demonstrates that across the board, size matters.
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Hey, I have been trapped in a few of those myself…
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Well then, Art, all I can say is:
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oh lord
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I just couldn’t resist!
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no… you couldn’t…
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I think it’s obviously a case of the student not knowing what to do around a vagina.
Bring back detailed sex-ed!
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You leave the best comments, Guap!
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After reading this news item yesterday, my only thought was, “Eww. A perfectly decent, European vagina dirtied by a dumbass American. Is nothing sacred?”
After thinking that, I also admitted I don’t have many friends.
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But Eva, I’m pretty sure that those few friends you do have would pull you out of a perfectly decent European vagina with enough alcohol in their systems. Because I’m one of them — and I would certainly tug on your arm (but I won’t pull your finger).
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Thank you, my friend. And here I thought wanting to step into a giant, stone vagina is weird. How wrong I was. I knew you had my back… and not my finger.
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Smooch.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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And sometimes you just have to dig yourself out of it — or call the fire department to do it.
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Large Vagina sculptures are even a concern to us in the UK.
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They are breeding, apparently.
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I saw this yesterday…hilarious! Imagine being this poor kid. For the rest of his/her life, they will be known as the kid who got stuck in the vagina! The jokes are endless.
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I was glad they didn’t name him (at least here). That will be difficult to live down outside of 7th grade.
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I predict that Fox News will respond with a call for stricter regulations for vaginas.
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The sad thing is you’re probably right!
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I saw this on Twitter this morning. I mean, who jumps into a concrete vagina?? Well, that idiot does…
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It does sound rather painful now that you mention it!
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Oh, jeez, I’ve heard everything now. Just when you think nothing else can surprise you. Poor guy. No one wants to be remembered for that!
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I’m so glad they didn’t publish his name. There are things you just can’t recover from. Of course the junior high school boys will think he’s ummmm something!
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Speechless, that’s what I am – speechless. If this weren’t a “G” rated blog, I might have more to say. Samara over at “A Buick in the Land of Lexus” recently posted on some unorthodox advice concerning vaginas that she got from a doctor – this is the result http://samaraspeaks.wordpress.com/2014/06/13/the-doctor-told-me-to-buy-a-dildo/
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Oh Lord. I think I’ll have dinner first!
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Have you finished dinner yet? I promise it is hilarious and not sexist or dirty.
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Thanks for the reminder. I’m off!
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It was absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the recommendation (why isn’t Samara in my inbox? Everybody else is!). And for the reminder.
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Hahahaha
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That’s just what I thought!
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I always knew they were dangerous. *wink wink*
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You just never know what might happen when there is a vagina around!
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