In the olden days, I didn’t need books to find answers to my questions. I could avoid the library. And research? Be serious. Not me. Nope, I could tap the fountain of knowledge. At any time of the day or night. Easily. Most of the time I just had to roll over or maybe, during business hours, pick up the phone.
My ability to get all the answers became widely known amongst my circle of friends. And so whenever I or any of my friends needed to know a bit of history, a philosophical principle, how to do a math problem, they’d come to me. They knew I could solve the mystery. Sort of.
“Elyse,” they’d say, “would you ask John …”
And no matter what the question, John always knew the answer. Always.
But then came personal computers and search engines. I think John was hurt by the fact that I no longer called him for all the answers.
In the intervening years, somehow I forgot. Or maybe I’d gotten used to being married to such a smart guy. Or maybe I was just used to having easy access to all of life’s mysteries at my fingertips.
Not long ago, though, I was thrown back into the early days of my marriage. Yup, I was reminded just how much stuff is packed into my husband’s brain. It was almost as good as reliving that very first kiss. (But not quite.)
You see, he and I were driving through Pennsylvania a few weeks ago. We passed farm fields ripe with corn, a plant I knew by sight from my days of stealing it from farm fields in my home town. There were also fields of other plants right next to the corn, but I didn’t recognize them. Apparently, I had never stolen those plants. Obviously they don’t taste good with butter.
“I wonder what that is growing in those fields,” I casually asked John.
“They’re soybeans,” he replied without missing a beat. “They need the same soil and conditions as corn, so they are often planted near each other.”
I looked at my husband and remembered how, when we were first married, I could always count on him to know whatever I didn’t know. He still does! Even after all this time slummin’ with me!
I smiled at him. “You know, it’s just like being married to Google.”
John has filled in many of the blanks in my life. He’s been doing that now for 27 years (on the 20th).
September 10th is John’s birthday. Happy birthday to the smartest guy I know.
For my long-time bloggin’ buddies, you’ll know that John and I have very different musical tastes. But this is a song we both love, and a version we both think is one of the best.
With it, I toast the very best husband I’ve ever had. Of course he knows that he’s the best husband I’ve ever had. After all, he knows everything.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
This is so lovely! How wonderful that you still appreciate him after all these years. Happy (belated) birthday to John and happy (early) anniversary to both of you.
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Thanks, Peg!
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Aw, so sweet. Hope he had a great birthday. I sure do wish I were the type who knew everything. I have to Google it. Often.
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I have to Google everything too. But I’m just as glad. I wouldn’t want to know everything!
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Aw, that’s so sweet! Does he make Google eyes at you, too? (Please tell me no one has already asked you that–I didn’t read all the comments!) 😉
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No and no. No one has asked me that. And I think if I were to ask John that question he would make glare-y eyes at me. But that’s just a guess!
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Yes, best not to try that line out on him! 🙂
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Men folk do have a bit of competition now. The GPS started running circles around those fellas could find their way to the gas station.
My mom acts like her husband is the world wide web. Only thing is, he sounds like Boomhauser on King of the Hill and we can’t understand him.
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Annunciation/Pronunciation is important when you’re trying to tell the world a thing or two, isn’t it!
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Happy Birthday and anniversary! My brother is one of those types who knows everything, he was my source of information before google. Occasionally he will call and ask me about something, I think he’s probably just trying to make me feel good, surely there are simpler ways to find something out.
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It seems there are more Mr./Ms. Googles around than anybody suspected!
But like me, I’m sure you are a wealth of knowledge. My problem is that the things I do know, nobody else is interested in knowing. Sigh.
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Yes, I have a treasure trove of worthless knowledge. No one seems interested in most of it, but you never know, maybe one day the internets will break.
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For your sake, let’s hope so. But not today. I have a deadline!
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Happy Belated Birthday to John! Also, happy Anniversary. You should be celebrating all month!
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I fear we are just eating our way through it!
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Happy birthday, John!!
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Thanks, TD,
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Happy birthday to John! Thank you for the reminder, too, about my own husband . . . .
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You mean that you have one?
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A smart one who knows a lot of c**p.
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!
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With a 10 Day of Birth, of course he knows everything. After all, 10/1 is the number of leadership and instant manifestation. 😉
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Then i’m especially glad I didn’t marry the guy who was born on the 13th!
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I have one of those walking encyclopedias in my family. It amazes me how people can actually remember facts theynever use. I have to be careful not to too shake my head too hard or everything I’ve ever learned falls out.Love your Blog.
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Hi Gean, and welcome.
It is amazing how much info can be scrunched into such a small place. With my husband (and your family member, probably, too) it isn’t that the info is there, but that it is accessible. Me, I only remember the useless bits of info. For example did you know that Orville and Wilbur Wright studied the turkey vulture to learn how to make airplanes fly? That fact is always on the tip of my tongue. Sadly, nobody ever asks.
Or maybe I’ve been shaking my head too much!
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Happy Birthday to John.
It is a wonderful thing that you still appreciate each other after 27 years. You are an inspiration.
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We have our moments, Michelle. But I am pretty darn lucky!
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John will be very handy in the zombie apocalypse when we lose all power.
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It’s a good thing you’ve always been nice to me, S7. You will be safe. As long as you only need information and not a handyman.
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Happy birthday to John! Virgos rule and they DO know all (I’m one). Well, sometimes I have to pretend I know the answer to everything….but no one ever questions whether I’m right or not or there would be hell to pay. Hell hath no fury like a Virgo scorned. Also, happy anniversary to you two crazy kids!
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Yes, you will soon see just how crazy we are!
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You both have some serious celebrating to do!
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We do. And we will!
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Sounds like he would give Sherlock Holmes a run for his money.
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I’m not sure that he is that observant. He just knows stuff. Like everything! And I would make a poor Watson!
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I always took Holmes to knowing lots of stuff through being being observant.
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Please wish John a happy birthday from us!
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I will, Clinton!
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Congratulations, Elyse. Best wishes to you both!
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Thanks Naomi — and welcome back!
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I love Emmy Lou Harris!! What a beautiful song to spend the final few hours of my birthday listening to. Hope your wonderful walking encyclopedia of a husband has a great birthday tomorrow!! And happy anniversary a tad early.
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I love her too. So for YOUR birthday, I’ll give you this clip of my favorite of all her songs:
Of course I wouldn’t act like that!
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Thank you sooooooooooooo much!! I love that song and haven’t heard it in so long. Best birthday present ever!!
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I love it too. No wonder we are pals!
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Happy Birthday to the smart guy, and Happy Anniversary to you both … her’s to another 27!
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Thanks John.
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It looks like you’ve done very well so far together. May you find many more things that you have in common in the years to come!
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As long as it isn’t music, we have lots in common! Thanks, My!
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I am married to Google also. In fact when I read to him from your post, he launched into a speech about nitrogen content in the soil and the advantage of rotating soy beans and corn. Nope. He’s not a farmer. He’s just a know-it-all. One of the many things I love about him. Happy upcoming anniversary!
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Thank you Sarah. I imagine that you, like me, have perfected tuning out when necessary, too!
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY,JOHN!
And congratulations on 27 years. (Your patience is legendary around here.)
One of my biggest considerations in my girl was that she be smarter than me.
I’m just glad all the rest of her came with that.
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Thanks, Guap! And I’m sure you’re talking about my patience, right?
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Um…um…yeah! Yeah, that’s what i meant.
Of course.
Obviously.
eep!
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Good. I thought so.
And coincidentally, my real-life initials are EEK — I changed my name when I got married so that I could have those initials.
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Happy Celebrating! The song is such a great touch.
Re his “habits” – as one brother-in-law says of my sister “My wife is perfect – even her flaws are perfect.” Perhaps that fits your hubby 😉
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I love that — even her flaws are perfect. Although I don’t plan to adopt it. For my husband, well, his flaws are flaws. There is no doubt about it! But I do love him anyway!
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I didn’t mention my brother-in-law’s dry humor 🙂 A necessity in any relationship, eh?
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Well this accounts for part of the brilliance, he is a Virgo. Though being a Virgo means he has certain bad habits (though I consider them excellent).
Happy Birthday John.
Very happy anniversary, what an accomplishment to remain together, in love and still happily sharing the road.
Elyse, this is a beautiful song, love it.
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Isn’t this a great version of the song? I love it. I was sitting at my computer playing the song and he commented on this being his favorite version … so in it went!
I think we all have ups and downs in our relationships. When you have more ups, you know it’s a keeper!
And wait just a minute. My husband has some bad habits?
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Cheers to 27 years! You are a lucky girl indeed Elyse. Being married to Google certainly is a perk!
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It would be an even better perk if we’d gotten stock options … sigh.
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Hahahaha … True dat!
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Oops. I meant happy anniversary. But have a nice birthday too when it rolls around.
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Actually his birthday is tomorrow (9/10) and our anniversary is 9/20. I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone. Hope that idea doesn’t offend a wren!
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Happy birthday, John!
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Thanks Wren!
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Wait a minute, here: I thought I was married to the smartest man in the world (well, at least this area) whose name also happens to be John. What a coincidence! 🙂 Happy Anniversary and hopes for many, many more. All the best!
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Perhaps there is some ‘splainin’ to be done? Or maybe it just goes with the name!
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Knowledge is so sexy, isn’t it? Congrats on your upcoming 27 years. What a nice tribute to your man.
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He is a good guy, and smart is sexy. I dated ONE dumb guy. My father never let me hear the end of it. He did, however, teach me how to parallel park.
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Well, that’s a pretty decent silver lining.
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My wife has a husband like John. 🙂
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She is one damn lucky woman. But I’m sure you know that.
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Also, congrats on Number 27!
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Thanks. I hope I did the math right. I may have to ask my husband …
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