I don’t know what you’re going to do for the next few days. I mean without me. Because I am pretty sure that you won’t be hearing from me for a bit.
Why?
Sandy, of course.
Damn — not THAT Sandy. This one, The “Frankenstorm”:
The Weather Channel Hurricane Specialist Carl Parker says Sandy is expected to bring widespread damage over a wide area.
SHIT.
Some areas are prepared for nasty weather events. Given that the Greater Washington DC area closes down with snow flurries, well, it won’t be pretty here, even though other areas will likely get hit harder.
Still, I can safely say that:
- I will be powerless for many days.
- I will have no running water until the power comes back on sometime around Thanksgiving.
- Trees will fall on my once wooded lot and I will have to remortgage to pay for the cleanup. Then I will plant wheat.
- I will be unable to flush the toilet for a very long time which is especially pleasant if you live with Crohn’s Disease.
- I will be unable to shower for days.
- We will not relocate to a hotel because it would upset our dog, Cooper, too much. Cooper is very old and has been dying any day now for nearly three years. He will bury John and I when we smell so bad that he mistakes us for dead animals.
- I will not be pleasant to sit next to until sometime after the election when I promise to shower.
I can also safely say that I will be going completely out of my minds being unable to check polls, hear about what is happening in the run-up to the election and what stupid things Ann and Mitt Romney, and Pauly Ryan have said lately.
But you won’t have to suffer, unless you too are in Sandy’s way. When you are looking for your bizarre little bits of what the crazies on the left are doing, here are two of my favorite locations:
Meanwhile, until the storm starts, I will be at the grocery store. Handing out copies of this picture:
You gonna vote for a guy with even less heart than Bush???
* * *
To all my friends who are also in Sandy’s way, good luck with the storm. Remember, that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And of course, by “stronger” I mean more fragrant.
To all of you who are not impacted by Sandy, please go to our websites frequently so that we will feel the love later, when we have electricity and want to know that our bloggin’ buddies have been by to help keep our stats up.
And Sandy of Sandylikeabeach? I expect you here by Friday with a chain saw!
FiftyFourandAHalf 
I hope everything is perfectly fine at your side. Take care.
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Thanks Arindam. All is well with us — I hope your family can say the same!
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Yes they are also fine. 🙂
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Good news! Thanks Arindam.
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Be safe!!!
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We did fine, thanks. No power (which is NOT a shock) but no downed trees. Sandy was pretty gentle in my neighborhood as far as I can tell
Thanks to everybody for your concern. Now we need to worry about those up the line. Hope everybody impacted is doing OK!
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We’re back up and running, without any real damage. My smart phone didn’t want me to answer any comments except yours! Thanks for thinking of me, Twin Daddy. Hope you are well, too.
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I’m doing pretty well, actually. Hopefully I’ll actually get around to posting something soon.
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Glad to hear it. And glad you’ll be posting soon. We need your stuph!
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And your smart phone truly is smart. It knows who’s important. Lol.
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😉
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Hi Elyse, I’ve seen your name in several blogs I follow and I’m glad I popped over today – not many people could make a hurricane and the election into something so funny.
Do stay safe don’t do anything silly like go out to take photos for your blog.
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Thanks, Dear Rosie. I think we’ll be fine — we have a fairly new roof and we really have already lost a bunch of trees to earlier storms. So I’m hopeful. And I will try not to be stupid! I just hope that there is an epidemic of impacted people NOT doing stupid things. The damage will be way less!
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Just stay safe, Elyse. I don’t know what I’d do without you!
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You’re sweet, Lorna. I don’t think we’ll have more than tree damage and power loss. It’s really hard waiting for it, but I don’t really want it to come!
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I know the feeling. Up here (near the Canadian border in NY, they closed the schools TODAY and all we have are overcast skies and some wind. We’re supposed to start feeling Sandy tomorrow (when the “Sun WON’T Come Out,” bet your bottom dollar…).
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I wondered where you are. Hopefully you won’t have it too bad!
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They are predicting possible flooding because I live near Lake Champlain and their are lots of rivers that come off the Adirondack mountains. But the worst damage will be from sustained high winds. I live in the land of many trees.
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Trees are overrated on days like these! Power is starting to fluctuate. See you in a few days – good luck to all of us!
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Pingback: Sure, You’re Ready For Frankenstorm Sandy, But What About The Zomney Apocalpyse? | sandylikebeach
Stay safe and while you are at the grocery store handing out flyers pick up some extra “air freshener”. We shall await your safe return.
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Thanks Michelle! I’m sure we’ll be fine. What is the point of having a blog and not using it to bitch????
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I’m sorry sandylikeabeach declined the offer of power tools above.
Still, she can compose an ode to you and John while you clear the debris.
Wet and windy in NYC right now, and getting worse.. Hope you weather the storm with your ineffable charm. I’ll be looking for you when we float by on the Potomac.
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An Ode to an Odor? Not a bad idea.
And if you DO float by on the Potomac, give a shout. We are presently about 1/4 of a mile from the River — I expect we’ll have riverfront property by Wednesday! We’re near the bend — Holler and I’ll toss you a line!
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Guap, I’m thinking of you and sending you good karma. Hope you and your girl are safe and dry.
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Oh no–take care. Hunker down and stay safe. My sister is due on Thursday out of Reagan to Bush–I wonder if she’ll still be coming.
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Thanks, Georgette! Good luck to your sister, too (and your brother is here too, isn’t he?). She’ll want to get out of here by Thursday. They always do try to take care of cleaning up the airports quickly. I hope you get your visit!
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You are so hilarious! Love your pet humor. But, seriously, be safe. I’m praying that this storm won’t be as dangerous as it sounds. I’ll be looking for your updates all the while.
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Thanks, SDS. We’ll be fine. Stinky but fine. And I’ll update as I can!
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Don’t forget to fill up all your bathtubs with water, so you have enough to get through the storm. Do you have a battery powered radio? Otherwise stay warm, dry & safe & join us again when you can. I’ll be thinking of all my East Cost blogging buddies over the next few days while I slip & slide through our freshly fallen snow.
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Good luck with that slipping, Benze — no falling allowed.
We are going to be fine. Bathtubs are full, buckets are ready. Ice prepared. Batteried everything! Non-perishible food and a gas grill. We have been through some storms here less prepared. This time we really are as ready as possible.
It’ll just be a huge pain in the ass! And no blogging!
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Oh, please be safe. But of course you’ll do that. It’s Sandy we have to be concerned about. And stay warm, by all means.
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Don’t worry, Tots. We really will be fine. We have the routine down. And we have a little room with a fireplace that I can cook on (The secret to cooking in a fireplace? Cover the pot otherwise everything tastes like ash.)
The timing of the storm, at least for us, is better than it might be. The temperature isn’t frigid so we will be fine. We can always cuddle with each other and the dog!
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Stay safe, and here’s something to ponder while you sit in the dark stinking … er … thinking. How will Romney blame his election loss on Sandy?
Enjoy! 😀
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Actually, I ensured Obama’s victory yesterday when I voted!
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Be safe my friend.
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Thanks, Val. I expect that it will simply be a major pain in the ass! Oy vey!
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Shhh… Please don’t tell anyone I’m here. I’m still at my Mom’s house “celebrating” her 80th B-day with a bunch of similarly aged seniors, and I am in desperate need of a sanity break, before my sanity DOES break! So I snuck down into the family room claiming that I needed to get online to check the latest news on the hurricane, but my real reason is to get on WP and relax a little, before I go totally hoopy!
Your music selection looks great, but I can’t play it until later, or it will blow my cover, since I know they’ve got their hearing aids turned way up, and they’ll know I’m NOT checking on Sandy!
Maybe you won’t lose power… There’s still a chance this won’t be so bad, so think positively until reality forces you to go negative – that’s what I always try to do. Otherwise, remember those things called radios that run on cylindrical shaped things called batteries? It could help with your forced offline isolation issues… at least maybe.
Picture of GWB staring down at N.O. after Katrina and caption slam at Romney is great! And now I gotta go, cause I know the elders are trying to find me – one of their hearing aids just screamed out feedback like Hendrix at Monterey, and that means they’re going for maximum volume, and will soon hear me typing! BYE! LOL 😀
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That’s pretty funny Chris. I notice you’re really incognito — not even going onto your blog but hiding down here on mine!
Well, good luck to you on the storm, too. Sandy is a bitch, I bet and no fun whatsoever.
Happy 80th to your Mom. But shhhhh!!!
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I just read that CNN has forbidden its reporters to use the term Frankenstorm, since they don’t want to make light of something that may be extremely destructive. Oh yes. I can see where calling it “Sandy” gives the storm so much more weight.
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Ah, CNN. They are really competing with Fox these days, aren’t they?
Hopefully you will keep electricity this Halloween. Stay safe!
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Nancy, I didn’t realize you were going to get hammered too when I answered your comment last night. This is one hell of a storm. Stay safe! Keep your power! Flush!
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Stay safe. I’m in the path but in-land. We worry about falling trees.
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Thanks! You stay safe too. And be careful of those trees. They can be nasty!
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At least you have faced the likely outcomes and have a strategy. That’s about all one can do. Luckily for us, the storm is slightly east. However, we may get a freak snowstorm next week. Yikes!
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You’re right Renee. What good does complaining do?
But you know, I bet I’ll have some firewood I can let you have cheap!
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Stay safe – love your attitude. You made me laugh out loud. Hurry back!
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Thanks, Artsi! We will see just how long my humor lasts, though. It fades without water! (Somehow I missed this comment last night — sorry)
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No worries – it looks like it could get hairy pretty soon. I lose my humor without water too 🙂
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Be safe, Elyse. just a couple of hours before, I was watching about this news on my television. Last time, the place in US where my brother stays got hit by the storm. And he and my sister in law had to relocate to a hotel. Although I live in a complete different part of the world. But might be I was the first one to post all those pictures of the storm in my blog, thanks to my brother.
This time even my mom and my 10 months old niece are also there. So I am praying for all of yours safety. Stay safe.
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How funny that you got the info out first! Good luck to your brother, sister-in-law and that lovely niece of yours — and your mother too! I am hoping that the hype is greater than the reality.
I look forward to hearing that they’re all doing well, too.
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Give Coop a big fat hug and sniggle in … I hope it’s far less of a storm than they’re saying. Hang in there!
MJ
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Thanks, MJ. I’m hoping it is just overhyped. WAY overhyped. But we’ll be fine. And I’ll be back on-line with stupid Republican tricks before you know it. Unless, hey do you think Sandy is a stupid GOP trick??????
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we’re all buttoned down here. good luck.
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And you!!! We will be thinking of H who will, no doubt, be a tad busy! Good luck to the bunch of you!
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I hear you. I am also in the path of the storm. I’m eyeing the giant tree outside my dining room window right now.
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Good luck to you. I hope that tree stays just where it is, upright and outside of your house.
I keep making deals with God/Sandy — that tree’s ugly, take THAT one! But singing Que Sera, Sera helps, too!
Good luck. Stay safe.
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My thoughts are with you and all those on the East Coast. Hang in there and stay safe.
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Thanks. Hopefully the hype will scare Sandy in another direction. Like down into the ocean or at least OUT into the ocean.
We’re well prepared and my guess is it will simply be a major pain in the ass here!
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Stay safe and give Cooper a reassuring pat from me. I understand what you are going through waiting for it to arrive.
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Thanks GOF. I will give Coops that pat. He will actually hardly notice that there is a storm — he’s completely deaf and nearly blind too. He will be confused when we don’t go upstairs to bed in the worst of the storm.
We’ll be fine. I just expect to go thoroughly crazy without my computer! You are an old hand on it — so I shouldn’t complain to you!
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Doesn’t matter how many serious storms you go through it never seems to get much easier. Thoughts with you guys.
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Thanks!
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There’s nowhere to hide with these damn things – we get hit when we live in CT, we get hit when we live in FL, and most recently it seems the laughing Gods have taken a fancy to the New York area and the mid Atlantic!
Stay safe, stay warm, I hope you have a good book, plenty of candles and lots of chocolate..
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Thanks Moe. It is pretty annoying, isn’t it. These damn storms are coming more and more often. Global warming? Pishaw!
I have a great book — Corrag by Susan Fletcher. It takes place in Scotland in the 1600s. I’ve read it once, but it is beautiful and the main character makes do with very little. Seems fitting! Of course, she was not a blogger!
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Who knew I would turn into such a monster Frankenstorm just in time for Halloween? And just for the record, not every Sandy is a bitch. Some of us are sluts.
But on a serious note, stay safe Elyse. I’ll be happy to help you clear debris, though power tools frighten me.
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Yeah, Sandy, when I started hanging on the internet with you, I didn’t know you could be so damn unpleasant. I am surprised at you. I prefer the slutty Sandy to this bitchy one.
Thanks for the offer of help, Sandy, and don’t worry about the power tools. I won’t touch them either. We have our tree guy on speed dial. Sadly I am NOT joking!
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Good luck! If you have a smartphone, you may be able to use that to keep up with the world (and if you have any other devices with a battery and a USB connection, you can use those to recharge your phone after the power goes out).
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Yes, we do have smart phones and I don’t know what we did before them. But we will still need to charge them —
We’ve been through this a number of times, so we are all too acquainted with the routine.
But I wasn’t so psychologically dependent upon my blog and my bloggin’ buddies before!
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Were it not for the tremendous damage it’s likely to cause, I’d be happy to hear non-stop coverage of Sandy instead of the election for a few days! Good luck!
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Thanks, Lisa. You might get some of this, too, so good luck with you. Damage will likely be nasty, but I figure if I expect the worst I can only be mildly horrified!
And wait, you’re sick of the election? I am SURE you’re the only one who is.
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Um, yeah. Take care!
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Sandy seems like a real bitch, can’t wait for her to leave and she hasn’t even arrived. Be safe!
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Sandy DOES seem like a bitch. And what is she doing coming at this time of year? There is just no accounting for some folks, is there, Tops.
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Be safe.
Candles in windows for your safe return….
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Thanks, Jots. But don’t light those candles just yet. I may need them ;).
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I’ve got plenty, Elyse…happy to share whatever you might need.
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:). No need for them yet! Monday morning and still with power. It is just a matter of time, though!
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Good luck and stay safe!
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Thanks, Frank. “Safe and Stinky” — that’s my motto!
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🙂
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