Normally, while in bed with my husband, I try not to laugh so hard that I can’t breathe. I try not to laugh so hard that I can’t get to the Kleenex box quickly enough to wipe away the tears. I try not to laugh hard enough to shake the bed causing my husband to fall off the edge onto our completely innocent, elderly dog. I also try not to spit, but, of course, I usually try not to spit. (I try not to snort, fart or do a whole host of other things while pretending to be the perfect wife. But they are fodder for a whole different post.)
But last night I did all of the above (hey, except the fart. I will NEVER admit to that).
My husband, John was kind of put out about it, actually. As in literally put out of the bed because it was shaking uncontrollably.
It wasn’t my fault, though. You see, I was reading what I am pretty certain is the funniest book I have ever read. So I have to share.
Actually, it’s taking me quite a while to read this book. Normally, I swallow books whole. Seriously. But it is slow going with this one. Because it makes me laugh so hard that I ache all over, and then I cry. And I don’t know about you, but when I cry, I have trouble reading. Those letters just dance around in the swirls on the page.
And that’s kind of what happened last night. I would read just a couple of words and then suddenly it happened. I was laughing so hard, and trying to dry my tears, and catch my breath and also say to my increasingly annoyed husband who was in bed trying to sleep, that I just wanted to finish the paragraph.
Not the chapter.
Not the book.
Just the paragraph. But each time I managed to control my laughter, dry my tears, blow my nose and find my place, well, I started all over again. Laughing, crying, gasping for breath. It took me about 30 minutes to finish a two sentence paragraph.
If you’re familiar with my blog, well, you know that I am not in the habit of writing book reviews, even though I read a whole lot. And I won’t tell you what this book is about. But it is hilarious.
Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, by Jenny Lawson
This is quite possibly the funniest book I have ever read. Really.
But I haven’t finished it yet. I’m going to wait until John is asleep before I curl up in bed with the book. (He’s been snoring a whole lot lately and payback is hell.)
If you have a weak bladder, I recommend reading this book in the bathroom.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
Elyse,
Your opening paragraph was brilliant. And I don’t say this lightly. Whatever I say is always true. Unless I speak with my kids, and in the middle of June, I’ll tell them that Santa Claus is about to knock at the door, even if it’s daylight, something like 8AM, just to get more sleep.
It was brilliant, Elyse.
Le Clown
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Thanks, Clown. I believe everything you say. I mean, who doesn’t trust a clown?
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I preordered this weeks ago, and it’s been languishing, forgotten, in my queue. But in the little time we’ve been e-quainted, I’ve so enjoyed your own humor and writing, and think your endorsement is the prompt I needed to crack it open!
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Thanks Courtney, what a nice comment! I finally finished the book and it was really terrific. Hope you enjoy it too! Elyse
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Now I need to get this book. I am one that finds it hard to laugh or see funny when reading, but it sounds like this book can get through my skull. I also have a hard time even seeing funniness, but am glad I married whom I did because she can spot funniness almost in everything.
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You should check out her blog first — The Bloggess (http://thebloggess.com/) — as the humor is often woman-oriented! But I LOVED it. I am still chuckling thinking of some of the scenes.
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That sounds like my kind of book. Amazon, here I come ready or not!
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I finally finished it and it didn’t disappoint. I hope you enjoy it too. And thanks for following!
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Dave Barry is one funny guy. I agree!
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I want to read it! I just finished “Lunatic” by Dave Barry and Alan Zweibel. I was giggling like a schoolgirl.
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Ooh, I’ll have to check into that one. Dave Barry is my hero.
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Sounds like Mrs GOF…..once she starts laughing it’s very hard to stop her and all sorts of biological functions occur concurrently. 🙂
Very entertaining read. Thank you.
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I’m telling her you said that. And some of those noises were from the dog. Really.
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You’ve offended to dog. 🙂
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No — he loves me anyway. That’s why I feed him! In fact, that’s why I have a dog. Because no matter what I do or say (even though I am a ridiculously kind dog owner), he loves me.
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I thought it was my dog which was offended. If I took a little more time to compose and proofread properly I wouldn’t cause so much confusion. 🙂
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Maybe, but the comments confusion is half the fun, isn’t it?
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Glad she’s enjoying it — you will too. There is a lot of colorful language in it which I should have mentioned above. Oops.
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Well, anyone who’s read more than one bloggess entry knows she has a…creative turn of phrase.
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I had never heard of her. I have been missing so much!
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My girl just started reading this and has been laughing herself silly.
I get it next.
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BB (which means before blogging) I read about 3 books a week. Now, not so much. I haven’t finished this one, but I am savoring it. It is full of bad words though. It is still hilarious.
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Hmmm….reading? Who has time for that? When I do maybe I’ll check it out. Thanks for the recommendation!
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Yeah — shouldn’t they just laugh along with us (regardless of the fact that they don’t know the joke)? They’re no fun at all!
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I’ve had a couple instances of reading-induced bedroom hilarity that got me the evil eye and a one-way ticket to the sofa…spoil-sports…
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Good. Pressure is off me!
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🙂
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I have this in my nook library. I guess I need to get to it sooner then later.
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I’m reading it on my nook. The only problem is that there are pictures that I have trouble seeing. I’m going to the bookstore to look at them!
Thanks for your comment! I do hope you like it (but there’s less pressure since I am not making you buy it!)
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Lol I got it based on someone else review. 🙂
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I’m still working my way through it — I am laughing so hard that it takes a lot of time to read each page. But totally worth it. Jenny Lawson is one hilarious crazy woman!
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This post is a Great lead-in to a book I feel I must certainly read. Especially after seeing the book cover….this never happened Yep. Anything I want erased should just be forgotten. I will take your word for it and find this book,Elyse, I was already laughing reading your….erm…pre-review?
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Oh dear, the pressure…
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It will be in my next Amazon order.
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I am going to put this on my OverDrive request list. Can’t wait!
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i am getting so nervous. What if I am the only psychopath who likes the book? Well, me and the folks who made the book a bestseller …
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Ha! I expect to laugh out loud multiple times… I know I will, we seem to have a similar sense of humor.
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And the pressure intensifies … especially since I haven’t yet finished it ….
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Hi,
Sounds like a great, I will definitely have to check this one out. 🙂
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It is incredibly silly, Mags. I think you’ll like it.
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Of course I meant “great book”. (sigh)
Take note that when you are commenting on blogs, the Notify me of new comment by e-mail is ticked, WP is playing around again, so if your e-mails are stacking up this is why.
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I knew what you meant. AND I was just writing about WP’s latest trick. They mess with us — constantly!
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I love the cover. It has to be a scream. Thanks for sharing.
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It really is, Barb. But the pressure is getting to me. This is why I never recommend books on my blog. Cause I hate it when I tell someone that I just read a GREAT book and then they hate it. (I feel less bad if I gave it to them, though.)
Everybody I know Loves Russian Literature. I’d rather go to the dentist.
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I’ve heard a bit about this book but now that I know you find it funny, I’ll have to read it. I could use a good snort , chuckle, laugh-until-I-cry in my life.
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The pressure is building. What if it was only the drugs that made me laugh so hard. Do you need a money back guarantee?
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Oh, no, I trust your opinion 100%.
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I’ve seen this book and wondered about it. Now I know. Thanks! Can’t wait to get it.
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Let me know how you like it!
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Will do!
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Hope the dog’s okay. Now, I’ve got to buy this book that set off your tickle box.
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The dog is decidedly NOT ok, but that was true before the incident. (He is old and blind and deaf and he always was dumb!)
I think you’ll enjoy the book, Totsy. And where you are you need a laugh. Wherever that might be!
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Oh good! I love truly funny books! Will have to check it out.
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I think she is, well, nuts. But in a good way! I hope you enjoy it. And I hope I get a cut of the royalties generated by my billions of readers. Billions. Really.
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LOL…billions…
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I wish!
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Sometimes, we’re in bed … my wife is reading, and I’m calmly cuddled against her … and then something really fun gets me giggling … she feels me giggle, and then starts to giggle while asking what is so funny – which of course gets me laughing hard enough that I can’t catch a breath .. and the cycle continues. Oh well …. 🙂
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Yup. This one was WAY beyond my ability to share it though.
I’m chuckling again…
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… and you may be laughing more times today!
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Seems like I should try it. I’m not married, I’m not living with someone else, so it probably is safe to read it in bed as I am too young to suffer a weak bladder.
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Lost, I certainly hope that this book doesn’t change your bladder status. Because everyone should laugh so hard that they … you know.
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Thanks, Elyse. Fun review. I could definitely use a book that would make me laugh right now!
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It’s a riot. I hope you enjoy it! I hope I enjoy the last 1/3 …
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I already know this book is for me! I get that same reaction from reading David Sedaris and my hubby can’t seem to understand how something could be “that funny.” I can’t wait to read this one!
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Tops,
My husband’s reaction to it ran the gammut — “Funny book?” “Really funny book, I guess.” “Damn, what’s that ABOUT.” “WILL YOU PLEASE STOP THAT!” All the while I was completely breathless and unable to respond.
I hope you enjoy it (I love David Sedaris, too. Especially since he and I have similar french language skills: https://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2011/10/25/merde-101/).
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I am not familiar with this book, but will have to look for it now. Humor isn’t always easy to accomplish in writing, so I’ll take your great recommendation for this funny read. Thanks.
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It is seriously funny. I hope you like it.
Thanks for stopping by, Renee!
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You have been mentioned in my blog today, please see Versatile Blogger Award. http://benzeknees.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/intermission/
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Thanks Benz! And congrats on the awards!
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Will have to add this to my “To Read” list.
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Oh do. It is SOOOO funny.
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I am just sooo glad that this post turned out to be a book review!
Cause after reading the first paragraph and the next three sentences, I’m thinking ‘Oh No! Poor Elyse! She’s probably gone totally loopy on Ambien, and this is one of those posts that bloggers don’t even remember writing and then posting, until they discover the awful truth, late the next morning, after it’s much too late.’ (shudder!)
But everything is okay! Cause it’s really just a book review! And I’m just so relieved for your sake, Elyse. And thanks for the tip, cause I just love a good laugh, or a whole bunch of really good laughs that cause major bed shaking, and even laughing so hard that my spouse falls out of bed!
Yes, I really want to have this kind of experience too, so I want to read this book, and thanks again Elyse! 😀
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You don’t have to worry about me and drugs, Chris. I study them — I don’t take them! I know all the side effects.
And in all the drugs I’ve studied, none have mentioned “spouse eviction” as a side effect!
You’ll have to let me know if you like it — it is a woman’s sort-of memoir, so I’ll be interested to learn if you find it as funny!
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While true that what different people find humorous can be very subjective, for me, what’s very funny is never determined by the gender of the author or comedian, and there are more than a few women I find very funny.
So the book will go on my list of recommended reading, and after I read it I’ll let you know whether it was bed shakingly funny for me too! 🙂
So you are a professional drug studier… In your professional opinion, which is the very best of the recreational drugs to have fun with, that also has the least serious consequences, when used in moderation?
You don’t have to answer that, if you feel to do so, would be a professional ethics violation. Lol 🙂
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Well I guess I will move it up in line, it is already sitting on my bookshelf.
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You sounded like you needed a good laugh, Val. It’s a howler.
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I’ve put in a request at my local library, but 11 people are ahead of me.
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It’s worth the wait!
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Okay, okay, you convinced me. I trust you. I’ve been trying to resist lining her pockets with filthy lucre. But will I be able to forgive her for being funnier than me?
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I am still trying to clean up the spit off the ceiling. I’ll deal with the forgiveness issue later on.
And we all want the $$$ so I’m figuring that this is like keeping it in the family. When we kill her, we get it back. 🙂
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🙂
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Good luck. It is a hilarious book and I just stumbled upon it.
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I haven’t read the book, but I’m hoping to get to Coral Gables (where my friend lives) tomorrow in time and to convince my friend to come with me to meet The Bloggess at the book signing she is doing there. Jenny Lawson is very funny.
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