It’s a bit early for this, but today I figured out my New Year’s Resolution. I’m going to stop eavesdropping on other people’s conversations.
I haven’t quite figured out how to manage it, though. I could use those smushy waxy earplugs to stop up my ears. Or “noise cancelling” headphones might do the trick. Worse comes to worse, I could just be overzealous with the old Q-Tips one morning.
But somehow I have to stop hearing stupid people talking to each other. It’s not my fault that it happens. I’m pretty sure it’s genetic. My father used to say that if there was a “weirdo” in the room, the weirdo would seek Dad out. That’s true for me too.
Like today. All I did was walk out the back door of my building to the salad bar next door, when the conversation of two men behind me caught my ear.
“…you only need to tune it every five years.” Said the first. I’ll call him “Mr. O.” “It just costs you $500 every five years. Really holds its value.”
“Whoa!” I thought. “A car you can ignore for five years? This I have to hear.”
But the two guys were not going to the salad bar next door. They continued on past it. I really wanted to hear about that car – it’s such a pain getting service around here. So I kept walking in front of them, coatless, on a pretty nippy December day. Yes, I’m an idiot.
“When you’re going to invest that much money,” continued Mr. O, “you want to get your money’s worth. And you get it with an Omega.”
“An Omega?” I thought. Now John loves to talk cars, and while I don’t really listen, I do get some information by osmosis. “I’ve never heard of an Omega.”
“I don’t think you can go wrong with a Rolex,” said Mr. R.
“What the F—-! I’m freezing my butt off to listen in on two rich guys going on about their ridiculous, overpriced watches. Can you say “conspicuous consumption”? Now try it with your bloomin’ teeth chattering.
“No, an Omega is the way I’m going,” Responded Mr. O. “If I’m going to ask my wife for a $15,000 watch, I want an Omega.”
Now, as I shivered, I tried to imagine who needed a $15K watch. Were they marine biologists needing a watch that would keep on ticking while the dove 20,000 leagues under the sea? Were they astronauts, who needed a special watch for some reason I’ll never comprehend? Were they simply close to Newt Gingrich and therefore got to tap into that Tiffany’s account?
By this point, I still hadn’t seen them. But I was dying to. Did Mr. Omega look like this:
Omega Ad with George Clooney (Thanks, Google Images!)
Did Mr. Rolex look like this?
Sly Stallone -- not my type, but still .... (Thanks again Google Images)
Nope. They looked more like this:
Abbott & Costello, probably wearing Timex (Google, you've done it again!)
Me, I looked at my cheapo watch, and realized that I’d been outside in the cold for 20 minutes. But hey, saved money today by eavesdropping. By the time I’d finished listening, I was too nauseous to eat lunch.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
Cracked me up! Thank you, Elyse!
Russ
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Russ, you keep going into the way back machine! Glad you liked this!
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Ha ha – that’ll teach you a lesson! 🙂 I’ve never been interested enough to walk with the talkers!! You’re funny!
But yes, it’s just TOO ridiculous to spend so much on a watch. Just ridiculous.
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Thanks for visiting my blog!
Maybe it’s just this area (DC) but folks trying to impress others seem to talk really loudly … and about stuff I would be just as happy not to hear!
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Maybe they were hoping for a mugger so that they could collect the insurance???? Me, I don’t fit the part!
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Love it. A conversation like that, in public….I’m sure they wanted people to hear and be impressed.
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Riveting! I want to go to lunch with YOU!
love it.
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Sure — let’s have a party. We’ll get the guys with the fancy watches to spring for it!
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I was going to suggest we meet for lunch after the New Year, but not if you are going to stop eavesdropping…..think of how boring lunch would be if we actually had to speak to each other! Hope you have a Mele Kalikimaka.
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Mele Kalikimaka to you too — and I would love to have lunch with you soon. Our conversation will be so scintillating that everyone else will be eavesdropping on us!
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If it turned my husband into George Clooney it might be worth the price…but then again, my husband MARRIED me, George, not so much!
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Hilarious! For 15K that watch better do a lot more than tell time!
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So Mr. O is going to ‘ask his wife’ for a $15K watch, and he looks like Abbott or Costello? Now I’m trying to picture in my mind what she might look like.
Thanks for a good laugh!
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Good question — I planned to insert a picture of Ethel Mertz, but couldn’t handle the technology!
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Gotta love people but please, $15,000 watches! Why the need for this stuff? Don’t get it at all. Although I am happy to brag about my $4.99 wool J. Crew sweater I purchased at Goodwill. Does that count?
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You impressed me, but probably it wouldn’t matter to them! Because I doubt they are all that interested in “Good Will” except their own. Sad. But I guess it does take all kinds, as my Dad would have said!
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What is a watch? And what is time anyway? It’s just a constraint, my philosophy teacher used to say. Boy, these men don’t realize what goons they look like walking around with their $15,000 watches so they could keep track of “time.” Ha. Who needs it.
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You forgot “Does anybody really know what time it is” and “25 or 6 to 4.” I am showing my age by my musical choices. These two guys were showing theirs by the fact that, as you and Doc pointed out, they wear a watch.
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Well if I take your advice and Barb’s, I’m afraid I will somehow manage to BREAK a New Year’s Resolution even before New Years! Would that be a blogging record of some sort.
Is there a box on the STATS page.
Will I get Fresh Pressed????????
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Hilarious post! The pictures were perfect. I think you should keep eavesdropping, like Barb said. Wonderful blog topics!
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And look at the great blog material you picked up. Just think, this could also be a diet plan if eavesdropping went like this for all your lunches. You’re brilliant!
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Thanks Barb,
I’m thinking that perhaps I should go a step further and just wander! I’ll pick up many a yarn, I’d bet!
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Definitely a Mr. Omega would do! Rolex is too overrated! 🙂 Great post!
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Thanks for stopping by!
And yes, if I were to get an obscenely priced watch, I’d buy George. Oops. That didn’t come out too well, now, did it.
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I’m not proud to admit this, but I eavesdrop too. Sometimes, in a restaurant, I will actually shush my husband if I’m listening. To be fair, I don’t lean over, hold a glass to the wall, repeatedly walk past a table or follow people to hear a conversation. If I happen to be able to overhear it clearly from where I’m sitting then it’s fair game.
I can’t imagine your surprise when you realized they were talking about watches. How on Earth did you keep a straight face?
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Oh, don’t feel bad about doing it — I think that folks who have conversations like these guys WANT others to hear them
But because I DO listen, I am very reluctant to comment on a movie, or a play or anything until I am safely in the car. I sure wouldn’t want to read one of my conversations on someone’s blog!
These guys were just so gross. So oblivious about what the rest of the country and the world is going through. I should have smacked them! Oh, wait, where IS my Christmas spirit.
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Yeah, there was. And I think that George Clooney earned every carat of it! Just by smiling!
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There was a watch in the Omega photo?! 😉
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I didn’t know it until I saw the pictures, but I definitely want an Omega man! Great post, Lease!
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Thanks!
I agree — I’d prefer George Clooney any day. But he wouldn’t need the watch!
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Great post! I haven’t worn a watch since I got my first cell phone. But if I did it would be a practically-priced specimen that I wouldn’t have to take off to wash my hands.
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I got the feeling these guys were more into ring kissing than hand washing, but I could be wrong!
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Go for it. Just don’t talk about it in front of ME!
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Can’t believe I saved myself $15,000 by not earing a watch. I use my phone to tell time. Maybe now I can afford an iPhone?
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