Category Archives: Mental Health

Crikey! Say “G’day” to Me New Mayte!

OK, I wanted to be clever.

Sorry.  That’s not going to happen.  Nope.  Not today.

I wanted to write something that would make you wonder.  That would keep you at the edge of your seat.  That would make you laugh with joy along with me.

Nope.

Instead, I’m just going to introduce you to me new mayte.

Duncan

Duncan

 

Duncan is a rescue puppy — a mixed Springer Spaniel/Australian shepherd.  He came to us through a program that finds homes for the pets (and their pets’ progeny) of deployed service men and women.  John’s sister found him on-line, sent me a link to him on petfinders.com, our application flew in and it was approved right away.  All of this happened on Monday.  Since then, we’ve been in a flurry of activity getting ready for a puppy.

I’m absolutely possible he will be an angel.  Always.

I will probably be a bit scarce around these parts for a while!

 

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Filed under Diet tips, Dogs, Family, Humor, Mental Health, Pets, Taking Care of Each Other, Wild Beasts

Followup Drugs

Because everyone enjoyed my last public service announcement, Medical Advice, I figured you might need some advice on, umm, other drug-related issues.  You can thank me later.

It’s later.  Time to thank me.

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Filed under Adult Traumas, Bloggin' Buddies, Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Huh?, Humor, Mental Health, Pets, Science, Stupidity, Wild Beasts

Immoral Dilemma

You guys know that I take voting seriously.  I believe in it with every fiber of my being, actually.

it’s not just that if you can’t be bothered to show up and vote that you lose your right to complain, although you should.  But it remains everybody’s right to bitch.  Look it up — it’s in the Constitution.

but really, I think it is important to pay attention, and express your preferences in local, county, state and federal elections.   Primaries count too — because in these screwy days, primaries are often more important than the actual election in November.

which brings me to my immoral dilemma:

Tomorrow is the Republican primary in my congressional district.

Now Elyse, you are saying, “you are too smart to be a Republican!”  Which, of course is true.

However, in Virginia, all primaries are open; I don’t have to be a Republican to vote in tomorrow’s GOP primary!

And frankly, since there is a good chance that whoever is chosen on Saturday will end up representing me in Congress, well, I want input.  And the field is wide open and filled with lunatics.  Some of the lunatics like Bob Marshal are known crazies.  But the front runner, Barbara Comstock, is hardly any better, and she looks like she is always sucking on a lemon.  So I don’t want her.  If I go and vote for one of the real way out loonies, the Democratic candidate stands a better chance.

Are you still awake?  No?  Then how come you’re answering my question?

Now I am getting to my immoral dilemma.

If you vote in Virginia’s GOP primary, you must swear an oath to support the GOP candidate in November.

It is, of course, un enforceable.  They will not know if I break my vow.  Personally, I don’t think it is either legal or ethical of the to ask for such a vow.

Still, I try not to lie, especially when swearing oaths.

But does it count to knowingly make a vow you have no intention to keep because the vow shouldn’t be asked for to begin with?

 

****

 

Sorry for all the typos.  My computer died.  Obviously a Republican.

 

 

86 Comments

Filed under Disgustology, Elections, GOP, Huh?, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Mental Health, Politics, Stupidity, Taking Care of Each Other, Virginia

Siri-ously Monday

It was apparent pretty much from the start that today was Monday.

I got up late and everything that followed was just slightly off.

Traffic was awful.  I mean, this is DC – traffic is always awful.  But today I found myself stopped in places where I usually go.   I watched the clock tick past 9:00.  Past 9:15.

Luckily for me, though, it wasn’t that big of a deal.  When I arrive late, I stay late.  It all works out.  But still, I’d rather get there and not just hang out, stopped in traffic.

I thought I should call the office and let them know I was on my way.  Naturally, I had an ulterior motive.

Because I planned to call Yenny.

Yenny is my friend and colleague at the office.  But she has magical powers.  Because when I’m stuck in traffic and I call Yenny, traffic begins to move. It was important that I talk to Yenny or I knew I’d never make it to work.

I was at a dead stop.  My cell phone was in my pants pocket, but I put my earpiece in place and clicked that bluetooth on.  Siri, the magical creature in my iPhone sang a note to let me know that she was listening.  That she was ready to help.

In the months that I’ve had my iPhone 5C, I’ve come to rely on Siri for just these situations.  She’s great.  The Siri who lived in my iPhone 4?  An absolute idiot.  We were not friends.  We had words.   Those words rarely had more than four letters.  Siri4S would respond “what did I do to deserve that?”  Trust me.  She deserved it.

But Siri 5C?  She is a star.  She doesn’t let me down.  She helps me.  I love Siri5C.

“Call Yenny,” I instructed her politely.  I never swear at Siri5C.  In fact, she often comments on how polite I am with a casual “don’t mention it,” when I thank her.

Now this morning when I asked her to call Yenny, I realize that I didn’t say “please.”  That is because last week when I was in precisely this situation, and I said “Please call Yenny.”

“Should I call the Police?” Siri asked.  I didn’t think much of it at the time.  She may have been having a rough start to her day.  Still, I decided not to say “please” to Siri.  I always say “thank you,” though.

What did Siri say to today’s request  to “Call Yenny?”

“I don’t see that,” she said.  “Did you mean ‘conference call number’?  Or would you like to call Gastroenterology Fellow on call.”  She only heard the “call” and went from there.  This wasn’t an auspicious beginning.

“No,”  I said.  Clearly, Siri was having a rough start to the day, too.  I clicked my Bluetooth off, and clicked it on again immediately.

“Call Yenny … ” I gave Siri Yenny’s last name.  On a bad day, Siri will cooperate the second time I ask her to do something.  Much like my son.

“Do you want local businesses beginning with “call”

“No, Siri.” I said. I hung up.

Then I had an idea.  I figured I’d have Siri call my number at the office – and presto — I’d be connected!  So I clicked on again and said “Call Me-“

But I immediately remembered that “Me-Office” goes to my direct line, not the main company line.  So I’d be able to leave myself a message that I’d be late — which I already knew.  Because, well, you know.

So I interrupted myself.  Figured I’d stop before I said something stupid to Siri.  But it was too late.

Because what Siri heard was “Siri, call me … never mind.”

”OK,” Siri responded.  “From now on, I’ll call you ‘Never Mind.”

Sadly, this may be an improvement.   Before he went back to college, Jacob instructed Siri to call me “Queen,”  I couldn’t figure out how to change it.

Now I have.

Is it Friday yet?

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Filed under Adult Traumas, Conspicuous consumption, Driving, Huh?, Humor, Mental Health, Stupidity, Technology, Wild Beasts

Uncle Sugar

You may find this surprising, but today I agree with former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee (R-12th Century).

(Photo Credit Salon.com)

Lead me not into temptation
(Photo Credit Salon.com)

According to today’s Washington Post, Huck knows him some women.  And so he can point the way for his entire party, nay, the entire country, to make women ummmmmmm, Man Up.

We women, especially those who live close to the economic edge that GOP policies and politics have placed us at, don’t have any control over our libidos.  And so we need “Uncle Sugar” to massage our needs with free birth control. Covered under Obamacare.  The nerve of women to want to avoid pregnancy, avoid abortion, avoid abject poverty for the remainder of their lives.

Wanting to avoid co-pays.  The scum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ9mcclfy8A

[Text provided cause I know you aren't gonna click on that link and for some reason the video won't embed]:

The Washington Post Reported:

Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee (R) said Thursday that Republicans need to take a more combative attitude toward winning the votes of women, by emphasizing that women aren’t weaklings in need of help from the government.

“I think it’s time Republicans no longer accept listening to the Democrats talk about a ‘war on women,’” Huckabee said during a speech at the Republican National Committee’s winter meeting in Washington. “The fact is the Republicans don’t have a war on women, they have a war for women, to empower them to be something other than victims of their gender.” [...]

Huckabee said Democrats tell women “they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government.

Yes, Mike Huckabee is right.

Because when I see him, hear him, I cannot control myself.  I want.  I want.  I want.

I want to shout:

FUCK HUCK

I am so tired of Huckabee and the rest of the male-dominated GOP that is hell bent on keeping as many women in poverty as possible.  Barefoot and pregnant, that’s how they like us.  And so I repeat:

FUCK YOU

HUCK

and the Horse You Rode In On

Of course, now I will be accused of bestiality AND being unable to control my libido.

And I gotta figure out just exactly how this jives with yesterday’s enlightening story about Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM) who believes that a wife is supposed to “voluntarily submit” to her husband.  Life must be damn confusing for Republican women.  The two who are still Republicans, that is.

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Filed under Campaigning, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Elections, Family, GOP, Health and Medicine, Huh?, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Mental Health, Politics, Stupidity, Taking Care of Each Other, Wild Beasts