Am I the only one who thinks that this waterfall might just be a metaphor for the way the world is going right now?
Back-asswards if you ask me. Which of course you didn’t.
I’m feeling guilty. I made you, my blogging buddies, listen to Sarah Palin’s drunken, rambling endorsement of Donald Trump.
I’m hoping you’ll forgive me if I share this with you.
See? There is goodness in the world. And it can be found in Washington, DC. at the National Zoo.
It’s easy to avoid Sarah Palin, here in DC. Because they keep her in the reptile house.
It isn’t often that this happens to me.
If there is a way for me to lose large amounts of money through no fault of my own, it will happen. Those bucks are history. Or, more likely, my money is in somebody else’s pocket.
But when the Volkswagen scandal hit the news this past fall, I will honestly say I breathed a sigh of relief.
You see, we’d been looking to replace my car for well over a year at that point, and a Volkswagen Golf Sportwagen was in the running. (We wouldn’t have gone for a diesel though. Even though I had no inkling of the cheating, I figured sooner or later any diesel was going to smell like my neighbor’s Mercedes Diesel which not only stinks to high heaven, but increases the particulate content of the atmosphere 10-fold every time he fires the damn thing up.)
When we read about the cheating, Volkswagen immediately came off the list. So did Audi and Porsche, which were only on the “Wish” list anyway.
Why would we want to buy a car from a company that intentionally cheated its customers and damaged the environment?
I felt bad for the folks who’d bought any Volkswagens, though, because surely the value of their cars plummeted, diesel or gas-powered. A car is a huge investment for most of us; this hurts big time.
I knew there would be lawsuits out the wahzoo brought by people who had been defrauded. There are times when lawsuits are absolutely justified. This is one of them.
Enter the GOP.
Later this week, the U.S. House of Representatives will vote on a bill that will screw folks who bought Volkswagens. It will take away the ability of them to file a class action law suit. And of course, class action is the only way that individuals have a prayer of getting any money back for their losses.
H.R. 1927, the hilariously titled “Fairness in Class Action Litigation Act,” was introduced by Neanderthal congressman Bob Goodlatte (R-I’m sure you’re shocked-VA) — and the House is expected to vote on it this week.
The bill states that it will do the following,
This bill amends the federal judicial code to prohibit federal courts from certifying any proposed class seeking monetary relief for personal injury or economic loss unless the party seeking to maintain such a class action affirmatively demonstrates that each proposed class member suffered an injury of the same type and scope as the injury of the named class representatives. (Emphasis added)
In short, that means that every single Volkswagen owner must have identical factors in order for a Class Action suit to be allowed to go forward. That means that, in order to join a class action lawsuit, each and every Volkswagen purchaser must have:
The entire purpose of the bill is to prevent Class Action law suits. [For those unaware of what this means, a class action law suit is when a group of normal people who have been injured band together and sue a large entity for redress. Class action lawsuits are the only way a group of normal consumers can maybe, possibly, get some measure of restitution. How we can keep from being screwed.
Earlier today, I wrote to my congresswoman, asking her to vote against this bill. Because while it impacts the folks who bought Volkswagens, it will be used to prevent class action law suits from the time it is enacted onwards. And sooner or later, it will impact all of us.
If you would like to write your Congressman or woman, and tell them to vote against this bill, here is the link to find your Rep: http://www.house.gov/representatives/.
Thank you to my bloggin’ buddy, Mark, at Lean Left for reminding me of this story and inspiring me to write about it.
Yesterday, I braved the grocery store to come up with an edible antidote to 2015.
I found myself pacing the aisles of the local Giant Foods, and well, I heard voices. Or a voice.
If I were a Republican, I would have assumed it was God.
But as it was, I realized I was talking to myself. Chanting. And naturally I listened. I’m not crazy, you know.
The Voice, my voice, told me what to do. What to get. How to do it. And I saw that it would be good.
You see, I remembered a long-ago gift from my niece that actually held the secret antidote to 2015. Only I had forgotten about it.
Yup. Who woulda thunk that an antidote would be in a cookbook! But this one is special. You see, it was published in 1987, when the folks in government still believed that the government has an important role in the country. When the government is, essentially, how we all contribute to improving our society. Educating our kids, making workplaces safer, the air and the water and the land cleaner. Yeah, I know it was published at the end of the Reagan years, but that cancer hadn’t yet metastasized.
Here’s the antidote to 2015:
As you can see from years of cooking smears, this is a well-used recipe. It is simple and delicious. And I’m going to make it for New Years’ Day — and often between now and November.
Because while this woman eats chicken. She is NOT a chicken.
And the GOP? I see little evidence that the GOP clowns are anything but chicken, can you?
It’s a little hard to read the instructions from this picture —
Combine all sauce ingredients, mixing until well blended. Wipe each piece of chicken dry and coat well with sauce. Place chicken,skin side up, in shallow baking pan.Tuck edges under, forming a compact shape, about 1-1/2 inches thick. Roast in preheated oven at 450 degrees, basting occasionally with pan drippings. Bake until opaque nearly to center, about 14-18 minutes, depending on thickness. Remove to warm plates. Spoon pan juices over chicken and sprinkle with parsley. Makes 4 servings. May be frozen.
Yes, I’m sick of the reminders, too.
Sick of the candidates’ signs.
Sick of the damn phone ringing with robo-calls and folks who can’t pronounce my name calling during dinner.
Still, it is important.
Tomorrow, is election day.
Vote! Keep the crazies in office down to a minimum.
* * *
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Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve wished on stars. And based on the fact that I’ve had a pretty good life, I’m quite certain that many of my wishes have come true.
However, there is a long list of things I’ve been wishing for for a while now, that just haven’t quite materialized.
An end to war, poverty, disease and hunger.
Reversal of global climate change so that our planet doesn’t die
Return of the collective brains of the GOP
What the fuck happened to those wishes, I wonder.
Until today, I just figured I hadn’t had enough opportunities to wish for the important things. Because it often takes more than one wish to achieve those things.
I realized that in order to fulfill my deepest desires, I need to get more wishes. I need to see more shooting stars.
And now I know how.
You see, I just read this morning that there is a modern day source for many of the shooting stars we see.
Astronaut Poop to be exact.
And I learned that when it is, ummmmmm, flushed, well, astronaut poop becomes a shooting star.
Updated — with VIDEO!
So, in order to get all my wishes to come true, and you will agree, they are completely selfless, wonderful wishes, well, the answer is simple.
If I were to go up in space, with my Crohn’s Disease in full, well, flush, we could even get Donald Trump to shut up.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.