Category Archives: Campaigning
Just today I realized that I really am a good person. Nice. Law-abiding.
It’s true. Because somehow today I did not live out my longest held fantasy. One that I’ve wanted to enact since childhood.
I will admit that I was close to doing it. Possibly closer than I have ever been to saying “What the Hell, I’m gonna do it! — Now! Today!”
I will admit to seriously considering doing it just for the moment when I was struggling to get into the driver’s seat of my car today at lunch time. The moments. OK, it took half of my damn lunch hour.
You see, I had an important errand that I had to take care of.
But some asshole had parked so close to my car that I couldn’t even get my purse into the car from the driver’s side.
Did I deserve to be placed in this, ummm, position? Did I park outside of the white line? No. I was parked just fine, thank you very much. Parked within the designated parking spot. Straight. Did I mention that I was well within the white lines on both sides of my car? Well I was.
I did not deserve to be treated in such a manner.
So when I realized that without liposuction, a detention in a concentration camp or a colonic, there was no way in hell I could get to the driver’s seat from the driver’s side. I was annoyed, I stood there for minutes with my hands on my hips, glad there were no children milling about to increase their vocabulary.
But I had no choice; I had to go. So I walked to the passenger side of the car, to climb into the driver’s seat. I soon realized that the driver’s seat was as close to the steering wheel as vehicularly-possible. I realized that I was also not supposed to exert myself following my surgery.
Did I mention that it was important that I go?
So I struggled to get my body into the driver’s seat without a cerebral hemorrhage.
Somehow, I managed.
The cerebral hemorrhage happened when I carefully backed out of my parking spot, and realized two things:
- There were 24.5 parking spots in that section of the parking lot alone, and five floors of empty parking spots on the floors above us; there was no reason for someone to park in such an assholic/inconsiderate manner.
- The car sported a special license plate.
Instantly, I started fantasizing. Within a heartbeat, I was transported back in time. Teleported to the very first movie I remember watching.
I was very young. Young enough to be crabby that my brother, Bob, had control of the TV. Annoyed that he was watching a movie instead of cartoons. Annoyed enough to forget that as long as the TV was on I didn’t really care what was showing. (I had, just that morning, been watching the test pattern.)
The movie was brilliant, and I have never watched the test pattern since. It was called
If I Had A Million
It was a compilation of a bunch of sequences where various characters were given a million dollars that they could spend however they chose. It later became the TV series “The Millionnaire” where a wealthy man would give people $1 million as long as they didn’t tell where it came from.
Anyway, in the move If I Had A Million, WC Fields’ lady-friend Mary had just had her new car ruined by what we would today call an “asshole,” but who was then called a “Road Hog.” When WC Fields and Mary Boland got their million, they knew just what to do:
They bought a bunch of old clunker cars, and whenever there was a road hog around, they would ram their clunker into him, causing the jerk to totally wreck his own car, along with theirs. But that didn’t matter, because that was why WC and Mary had bought those old clunkers!
They did this repeatedly. And it has been my fondest wish since I was about six years old, to be able to do that to the bad drivers, the folks who cut people off, who weave and edge and drive dangerously.
Revenge would be so sweet!
But in spite of being a wise ass, I am not an asshole. I did not smash the car that parked so inconsiderately. I did not accidentally-on-purpose run my keys along the $60,000 Audi Q7 SUV. I did not even spit in its general direction.
It was especially challenging because I realized that the owner is represents everything I hate. I realized that I’d seen him before, changing lanes discourteously. He (and yes, it was a he) had an overpriced car that he drove like he owned the road. And those specialty license plates?
And I realized that I really needed to feel sorry for the dumb rich guy. You see, this genius paid extra taxes to the Commonwealth of Virginia so that he could protest paying taxes.
Do you ever feel like another blogger has occupied your brain? Well I certainly did when I read this guest post by the brilliant List of X one of my very favorite blogging buddies. Please send him a message in the comments — a strong message!
* * *
From the start of the Russia-Ukraine conflict, every Republican leader and right-wing pundit has criticized Barack Obama for not being tough enough on Russians. If we could interview a generic Republican leader, the interview would go something like this…
Journalist: “Generic Republican Leader, would you have a few minutes to talk about Barack Obama’s response to the crisis in Ukraine?”
Generic Republican Leader: “Yeah, sure.”
Journalist: “Do you agree with the way Obama is handling the crisis?”
Journalist: “And do what?”
GRL: “Obama needs to lead.”
GRL: “By being a strong and decisive leader.”
Journalist: “Which is…?”
GRL: “Which is the opposite of a weak leader like Obama.”
Journalist: “So what, do you think, is Obama’s weakness?”
GRL: “He’s not a strong leader.”
Journalist: “But what he should do to become a strong leader?”
GRL: “He should act decisively.”
Journalist: “And by ‘act” you mean…?
GRL: “Not mince words, like he does.”
Journalist: “Should military option be on the table?”
GRL: “All options should be on the table – military, diplomatic… but not vegetarian, I hate that option.”
Journalist: “Do you think it’s time for diplomacy?”
GRL: “No, it’s time to send Putin a message.”
Journalist: “But not for diplomacy?”
GRL: “No, because we’re just going to send a message, and we’re not interested in anything Putin has to say to us.”
Journalist: “So what message should Obama send to Putin?”
GRL: “It has to be strong message.”
Journalist: “About what?”
GRL: “That we’re strong and we’re not going to stand for it.”
Journalist: “And what should we do if Putin ignores our message?”
GRL: “We should act.”
Journalist: “Act how?”
Journalist: “But what should we do exactly?”
GRL: “We should put an end to Putin’s imperial ambitions.”
Journalist: “Would you oppose Obama if he proposed a military action?”
Journalist: “Would you oppose Obama–
Journalist: “Sorry, I haven’t actually finished the question.”
GRL: “Oh. I thought you did. What was the question?”
Journalist: “Would you oppose Obama–
GRL: “Yes. Absolutely. My answers still stands.”
Journalist: “So what do you propose?”
GRL: “We need to send him a strong message.
Journalist: “To Putin?”
GRL: “No, to Obama. What about Putin?”
Journalist: “You also wanted to send a strong message to Putin.”
GRL: “Right. Then we need to send two strong messages. Or we can just send it to Obama and copy Putin on it.”
Journalist: “Shouldn’t Obama, as president, send the message himself?”
GRL: “No, he’s too weak.”
Journalist: “But it’s just a message. Obama can just type it and press ‘Send’.”
GRL: “No, Obama needs to physically print the message and walk to the mailbox to send it. Otherwise Putin will see that Obama is too weak to even walk to a mailbox. We need the president who can not only talk the talk, but also walk the walk. We need a strong president!”
Journalist: “Do you think Putin is a strong leader?”
GRL: “Yes, definitely.”
Journalist: “So do you think Obama should be more like Putin?”
GRL: “………….Have I told you that Obamacare will kill three million jobs?”
Journalist: “Thank you for the interview. Any last words for our readers, Generic Republican Leader?”
GRL: “Yes. Vote GOP in 2014! Unlike Obama, we have a clear, strong, and decisive foreign policy!”
One of the many reasons I’ve never run for public office is that I hate asking for things. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel unworthy. Unloved.
Votes have always been especially hard for me to ask for. So this is really hard for me to do.
But one of my earliest bloggin’ buddies, Lorna of Lorna’s Voice, nominated me for the BlogHer “Heart: Feel it” Award! And I need your vote to avoid total humiliation.
It is for my story/blog post, Letting Go.
Letting Go is a very heartfelt piece. You see, it was written with my dog Cooper asleep at my feet. Written knowing that the vet would soon come for his last, and saddest, visit with my ailing Cooper. But it isn’t a sad story. Because it is about a very special walk with a very special dog who made a very special friend that day. Or tried to, anyway. And it happened many years earlier, when Cooper was young and healthy and carefree. The story really did help ease the pain of his passing, even as I was facing it.
So please click on this link, register (sorry!) and vote. For me and for Coops. For Letting Go. (There’s a link to the post through this link.)
And pretend you’re in Chicago — vote early and often!
I’m shocked! Shocked!
I did not make this up. Nope. But I’m happy to pass it on:
Gallup headlined on 28 January 2014, “Democrats and Republicans Differ on Top Priorities,” and reported that the biggest difference between supporters of the two Parties concerned “The environment,” where 71% of Democrats said it’s important to them, versus only 32% of Republicans who did: a whopping difference of 39%, between the two Parties, considered that issue to be important. The second-biggest difference was on “The distribution of income and wealth”: 72% of Democrats, versus only 38% of Republicans – a 34% difference. Third came “Poverty and homelessness”: 82% of Democrats, versus 53% of Republicans – a 29% difference. Fourth came “Education”: 91% of Democrats, versus 70% of Republicans – a 21% difference.
Here were the four issues on the conservative end, the four issues where Republicans scored the largest amount higher (more concerned) than Democrats: First, “The military and national defense”: 76% of Republicans, versus 61% of Democrats – a 15% difference – considered that issue to be important. Second, “Taxes”: 69% of Republicans, versus 56% of Democrats – a 13% difference. Third, “Terrorism”: 77% of Republicans, versus 68% of Democrats – a 9% difference. Fourth, “Government surveillance of U.S. citizens”: 45% of Republicans, versus 37% of Democrats – an 8% difference (but if the President had been a Republican, Democrats might have been more concerned about that issue than Republicans would have been).
Clearly, selfish fears swept concerns on the Republican side, whereas concerns for others (and especially the weak) swept concerns on the Democratic side.
One can therefore reasonably infer from this survey that the main difference between Democrats and Republicans is the difference between compassion versus psychopathy.
Elections Matter. Don’t vote for any psychopaths. There seem to be more and more of them around the GOP.