Good Reason to Fear European Travel

Since the Age of Exploration gave way to colonization of the Americas, folks living in our neck of the woods here in the U.S. of A. have feared travel back to the Old Country.

They feared crossing the ocean on a sailing vessel, a steamer, an ocean liner.  It is a big ocean.  (Remember the unsinkable Titanic)

They feared flying over the Atlantic in a dirgible (Remember the Hindenburg)

They feared flying over the Atlantic in an airplane because anything can happen.

But mostly they feared trying to get by in a language they could neither speak nor understand.  That, and they use different money over there!

In recent years, though, more and more Americans are venturing abroad.  Seeing the sights, the art, the scenery, the architecture that Europe is so justly famous for.

But all that will end soon.  Because there is something new in Europe to fear.

Vaginas.  Yup.  Vaginas.  Big ones.  At least that’s what I read over at Talking Points Memo

A Giant Vagina Attempted to Swallow An American Tourist (Photo AP Photo / Feuerwehr Tübingen via TalkingPointsMemo)

A Giant Vagina Attempted to Swallow An American Tourist (Photo AP Photo / Feuerwehr Tübingen via TalkingPointsMemo)

Giant Vagina Sculpture Traps US Student in Germany

An American exchange student who got stuck in a giant vagina sculpture was freed by firefighters in southwestern Germany.

79 Comments

Filed under Adult Traumas, Conspicuous consumption, Diet tips, Holidays, Huh?, Humor, Stupidity, Wild Beasts

79 responses to “Good Reason to Fear European Travel

  1. I always knew they were dangerous. *wink wink*

  2. Paul

    Speechless, that’s what I am – speechless. If this weren’t a “G” rated blog, I might have more to say. Samara over at “A Buick in the Land of Lexus” recently posted on some unorthodox advice concerning vaginas that she got from a doctor – this is the result http://samaraspeaks.wordpress.com/2014/06/13/the-doctor-told-me-to-buy-a-dildo/

  3. Oh, jeez, I’ve heard everything now. Just when you think nothing else can surprise you. Poor guy. No one wants to be remembered for that!

    • I’m so glad they didn’t publish his name. There are things you just can’t recover from. Of course the junior high school boys will think he’s ummmm something!

  4. Twindaddy

    I saw this on Twitter this morning. I mean, who jumps into a concrete vagina?? Well, that idiot does…

  5. I predict that Fox News will respond with a call for stricter regulations for vaginas.

  6. I saw this yesterday…hilarious! Imagine being this poor kid. For the rest of his/her life, they will be known as the kid who got stuck in the vagina! The jokes are endless.

  7. moi

    Large Vagina sculptures are even a concern to us in the UK.

  8. Eva

    After reading this news item yesterday, my only thought was, “Eww. A perfectly decent, European vagina dirtied by a dumbass American. Is nothing sacred?”

    After thinking that, I also admitted I don’t have many friends.

    • But Eva, I’m pretty sure that those few friends you do have would pull you out of a perfectly decent European vagina with enough alcohol in their systems. Because I’m one of them — and I would certainly tug on your arm (but I won’t pull your finger).

  9. I think it’s obviously a case of the student not knowing what to do around a vagina.
    Bring back detailed sex-ed!

  10. Hey, I have been trapped in a few of those myself…

  11. I always support exploration of built environment. This is clearly a safe-design problem. Vagina was either too small to allow curious tourists full access, or too big to prevent curious tourists’ exploratory behaviors. I’ll remember this next time I order a vagina sculpture for an architectural project to get the size right. Thanks.

  12. From the vagina they come and for the rest of their lives into the vagina they try to climb back in.
    ;)

  13. 1jaded1

    That caption is hilarious. I wonder if he will have nightmares of being swallowed for the rest of his life.

  14. Pish. Men get trapped by giant vaginas all the time. It happens every day, in fact. I don’t know why this made news. Next.

  15. The bigger question here is ….why is there a giant vagina in the first place? As for this young man he now has the best vacation moment E V A H!

    • You would think with the obesity epidemic that there should be plenty of giant vaginas, wouldn’t you, Tops?

      As for this guy — I think he will, ummm, la low for a while!

  16. Maybe, contrary to Star Trek, space isn’t the “final frontier” where no man has dared to go. Looks like men have some exploring to do a bit closer to home and it’s just as thrilling. ;)

  17. Roxie

    This is probably the only time he’s ever tried to get OUT of one!

  18. OMG! I roared with laughter! I’m choking. Thanks for this great ending to my day (no pun intended).

  19. This happens to me like all the time.

    Damn, I have so much to say here… so many things spring to mind. And all of them are just wrong wrong wrong.

    Hilarious, dude. Hilarious.

  20. Laughter, I now know why I have insomnia tonight. I needed to read your blog as I really needed a good laugh.

  21. I have no words. Laughing too hard.

  22. He obviously went in without the vagina’s permission!

  23. Certainly enough reason to keep me safely in the U S of A. Hilarious…

  24. How do you ever explain this? Oh, yes I had a nice trip except for when the fire brigade had to come & extricate me from a vagina. Hahahahahahaha!

  25. Giant vaginas have a way of causing chaos … and to think my lack of notifications almost caused me to miss this post.

  26. Do you realize that this may keep our politicians from their usual junkets to Europe? I mean, Giant Vaginas? They’re already scared to death of the normal sized ones!

    • I think you’re right–at least publicly they profess a “hands-off approach” (I.e., family values). About this and so much more, they are terrible hypocrites, aren’t they.

  27. Why is it when we read things like this little adventure it is never a “European”, or “Brazilian” or “Japanese” student? Why is it always an American? What does this say about our culture? Never mind, I know what it says…I pretty much just read it in the above comments. ;-)

    • Actually, I think it is the fact that nudity, sex, body parts, etc. are not on display here (remember Attorney General John Ashcraft covering up the boobs on the statue of justice?). That makes juveniles of all men who aren’t used to it. Another stupid repercussion of our Puritan past.

      Shortly after we moved to Switzerland, 6 year old Jacob looked up at a sculpture of a naked woman on a street in Geneva. “Mom, why do they have all these naked statues.” I responded that Europeans think that the human body is beautiful. “Ah, Europe,” he said with a smile …

  28. I’m surprised the sculptor didn’t anticipate the irresistible photo lure, and provide an easier means of entry (and exit).

Play nice, please.

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