The Stars Have It

Just the other day, I got an early birthday gift from a bloggin’ buddy.  Benze from Benzeknees directed me to what is billed as “A very ACCURATE HOROSCOPE”  — just when I was trying to figure out what to say about my birthday.  January 18.  I actually hate my birthday.  I’d much rather celebrate someone else’s.  But celebrating this milestone is traditional.  And I am nothing if not traditional.

So thanks, Benze, you made life much easier!

CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

24 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

There’s a bit of truth in it, even though I will admit to having no clue as to what “Love to bust” means.  Grouchy?  Ummm, yeah.  Intelligent and Sassy?  OK, often.  “Great talker” — well, I’ll never get a job as a mime.  “Always gets what he or she wants”?  I’m working on it.  Unfortunately it doesn’t say how long it takes … (I need a dog….)

The description  that is closest to the mark is that I’m lazy.  It’s true.  And it makes it so that I don’t have to do any more work on this post.

Yes, I’m going to post what I put up last year.  And the year before.  It’s true. I am going to post the song that sums up my life these days as a new 57-year old:

But you know what?  It beats the alternative.

I’ll go with People My Age …


Filed under Adult Traumas, Birthday, Conspicuous consumption, Health and Medicine, Huh?, Humor, Mental Health

103 responses to “The Stars Have It

  1. Thanks, YS! Mostly I’m glad it’s over.

  2. I have been inattentive…. Happy Birthday!

  3. I’m a few days late …. but, Happy Day That You Don’t Like! Hope you did something nice … dinner out?

  4. So funny about the horoscope. I’ve never really ascribed to astrology but when I first started dating my boyfriend I looked up our signs for compatibility on some website. It basically said that he was going to give me a million orgasms or something. Pretty sure I bookmarked it.

  5. Happy Belated birthday to you
    Happy belated Birthday to you
    Happy Belated Birthday Dear Elyse
    Happy Birthday to YOU! (and many more)
    (sung in key of “oh how I feel ya’ lol ;) )
    Happiness always wished your way.

  6. Happy Birthday Elyse! I fear my housekeeping is a bit like yours. My mother believed only dull people had clean homes.

  7. Here’s a good hint for your Elyse: Buy some Get Well cards & put a few of them about your place. Then when people visit & they see all your clutter or dust, they assume you’ve been too sick to clean!

    • Like you, Benze, I don’t have to fake it. I really don’t have a whole lot of energy to clean with the Crohn’s. I don’t have a whole lot of energy period!

      • Unfortunately Elyse – you & I both have “invisible” handicaps & people tend to forget we are sick & unable to keep up with stuff from time to time. It’s the only reason I suggested the Get Well cards – something visible to remind people.

        • I was messy before I got sick. I figure people who know me, know that. If they come for fun and a good meal, they are welcome. If they are looking for a clean house, they should go to Martha Stewart’s.

          It’s only since I’ve been sick that I stopped fretting, though!

          And yes, folks forget. But sometimes, that’s a blessing!

  8. Happy birthday to you!! (from one lazy, grouchy, loves-to-bust woman to another)

  9. Happy, happy, happy birthday Elyse! I value you as a blogging buddy!

  10. Happy pre-birthday!
    I’d rather look at the stars than read my horoscope in them.

    • Pre? Nope, this is the real thing. I am officially older.

      I agree with you about the stars, actually. They are so beautiful — you should see them from Maine where there is no light pollution. Magical!

  11. Singing the Happy Birthday song for you, and smiling in your direction. From they have this to say about your special self: “With Pluto in Capricorn, you can be confident that you are garnering respect – just don’t hit the gnat with a hammer. You can get your way without being too forceful.” I like the visual of whacking the gnat with a hammer, and if that gets the job done, whack away. The simple act of swinging the hammer probably brings just as must satisfaction as getting the job done.

    May today be a good day for you, and whether you love the day or not, we love that today is your day! Happy Birthday, Elyse! :-)

    • Sounds like a vaguely pornographic horoscope, 99! And I’m hoping that “getting my way” means getting a puppy soon…

      Thanks for the birthday wishes.

      • yes, yes, yes on the puppy … hope it happens soon!

        • I can’t wait much longer. But I have to be understanding. Cooper was “the” special dog in John’s life, and his care for Cooper as he got old and sick was truly heartwarming. And since John works at home he will have the lion’s share of the training (potty, anyway). So I have to work with him. BUT IT IS KILLING ME!

          • I tremble in fear at the idea of bringing a puppy into my home at some point in the future (because my Akita turns ten next month, the calendar is relentlessly marching forward on him). I argue that I can’t possibly go through the puppy stages again, but I know myself all too well. Yes, it’s hard work, and can be turmoil, but in the end, nothing compares to the love of a treasured pet companion.

            I get the feeling that patience is not your strong suit when it comes to things that you’ve made up your mind about, (me too), but all good things come to those who wait, or so they say. Keeping all my fingers crossed for you, and urging forward the kismet of opportunity. You know the puppy will find you, and when it happens, John will surely come along for the ride. :-)

            • Yes, I think puppies are wonderful — when they belong to someone else!

              And you’re right. I am a spoiled girl (my word, not yours!) and I want my puppy NOW! I would opt for a shelter dog, but John thinks if you go with a purebred you know what you’re getting. But in reality, you never do know anything other than species and sex!

  12. Enjoy your birthday while you remember you have them. Enjoy.

  13. Clinton

    Well, happy birthday, Elyse (and may more)!
    I read your horoscope and had an inclination to demonstrate the meaning of ‘loves to bust.’ However, I’m not sure how much you would appreciate a ‘roast of Elyse’ and decided it best if we left the content of such a rave to our imaginations.

  14. Happy Birthday, Elyse. I think I am 57 this year as well. If you find out what “love to bust” means please share.

  15. Twindaddy

    Happy birthday, Elyse. I don’t know what “love to bust” means, either, but it sounds bad ass. Much like yourself.

  16. Snoring Dog Studio

    Happy Birthday, Elyse!

  17. Happy Birthday, Elyse! I love to bust too. For the record, I have no idea what that means either.

  18. Happy Birthday! Mine was on Tuesday. Us January birthday people get gypped. No beach parties or margaritas on the veranda (note to self: get a veranda). Have a great day!

    • Happy belated to you, too, Kate. You’re right we do get gyped. My husband complains every year that he tapped out on what to give me for Christmas. Since my sister died just as I was going out to celebrate (in 2000) having this particular date as a celebration is a bit difficult. I keep suggesting we celebrate my half-birthday instead, but nobody bites. Sigh.

      The house we lived in in France had a veranda. It was wonderful. Truly. And when the wisteria was in bloom, and the sky was clear enough to see the Alps, well, life doesn’t get much better than that!

      • I can relate to that. My dad was buried on my birthday. Bummer! I also try to celebrate on my half birthday. We party but there are no gifts. Damn! I am in love with your France house already.

        • It was very hard to leave that house. I should dig out the pictures and write a post about it. It was such a lovely place.

        • I totally missed the part about your Dad’s funeral being on your birthday. I’m sure that’s exactly how you wanted to celebrate.

          My sister actually died three days before mine — but I got to fly to her funeral on my birthday, from Switzerland. As my husband commented, “you had an extra 6 hours to be miserable!” Everybody who looked at my ticket or my passport said “Oh, happy birthday! Spending it with family?” The most miserable day of my life.

          Here’s hoping your birthdays from here on out are funeral-free …

  19. Cool. Your sign says your cool, and I couldn’t agree more. Happy Birthday!!

  20. Happy Birthday, Elyse! Hope you have a fantastic day!

  21. Happy birthday, Elyse!! Enjoy your day!

  22. Happy Birthday Elyse! I hope you’re heading over to the White House so you and Michelle can celebrate together this weekend. Just in case your invitation was somehow lost in the mail, I still hope you have a wonderful celebration.

    • Well, I was invited, Tops. But she said I couldn’t have any cake. And Beau isn’t going to be there. So I decided to just go out to dinner with John. I mean, no cake?

  23. OMG “Spambassadors!” I nearly choked :)
    Have a happy birthday!

  24. Happy birthday, Elyse! I will try to eat cake today in your honor :-D

  25. 1jaded1

    Happy Birthday, Elyse! Hope it is enjoyable. P.S. TD is a Gemini…

  26. Great horoscope! Just had to go and check mine out! :) xxx

  27. Yeah, but it said lazy yet pours their heart into a job if they like it… which is the opposite of lazy.

    • The funny thing is, Trent, that that bit is absolutely true. I am a work-machine at work. But my house is cluttered and messy and I don’t do a lot about it. It’s very much like the sidebar of my blog, actually! Another thing I’ve been meaning to clean up. Some day …

      • I am exactly the same way. At work, it’s like being a robot. At home, meh. Whatever. Plus, my little ones ensure that home is never ever going to be clean anyway.

        • Yup. For the mess at home, I’m still blaming my son (who spends most of his time away at college) and my dog (who died six months ago) for the dirt. Pretty soon, I’m going to have to stop being so lazy and think up a new excuse.

Play nice, please.

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