Monthly Archives: December 2012

2012 in review — Past 54.5

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 36,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 8 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

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Filed under Humor

Fifty-Four-and-a-Half’s New Year’s Tradition

Most of our family’s traditions come from my family.  I think that’s because I’m the girl.  But our New Year’s Tradition comes from my husband.  It’s quite simple, and I’d like to share it with you.  And I will even add, Try This At Home, for good measure.

On the stroke of midnight,

Open the back door –

to force out all the BAD luck.

Open the front door –

to let in the GOOD luck.

The rest is optional, but we always:

  •  Drink a toast to the New Year.
  • Kiss anyone who happens to be nearby – especially Cooper the dog who might not be there to kiss next year.  (I wrote and posted this for New Years Eve 2011/12, and Cooper is still with us for 2012/13!)
  • Hope for all the best for all we care about in the New Year.

This year I will of course add to family and flesh friends a wish the happiest, healthiest of new years to all my blogging buddies.

 Happy New Year – may your good luck always be stronger than your bad.

***

Yup, this is a re-tread.  I will probably post it next year, too.

Last year, when I posted this tradition, some of my bloggin’ buddies worried that they weren’t going to be home — that their doors would not be available at midnight.  That they were at a party, or at someone else’s house (“Hey,” some said, “we don’t want to give THEM all the good luck!”).

Relax!

If you are out when the ball drops, or traveling or your own personal doors are unavailable to you, you have my official permission to improvise.  You can do this at Midnight in your own home; in somebody else’s, in a hotel — wherever.  Or you can wait and carry out the tradition when you get home, after you have put down your suitcase and relaxed a minute.  There is no expiration date/time stamp on it.

Traditions are what you make of them, after all.

Happy New Year!

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Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Dogs, Family, Holidays, Neighbors, Pets

You are all invited to my coronation. OUR coronation. I must get used to the royal WE.

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Filed under Humor

Shattered Belief

The following is a story that I submitted to The Green Study’s funny Christmas Story contest.  I found out about it through C4C, Company For Christmas, when Michelle of The Green Study and I met.  And I won 2nd Prize!  See Michelle’s post here for the other winners.

Thanks, Michelle for hosting the contest and for being part of C4C!

*     *     *

Jacob was 8 years old, and still believed in Santa with all his heart.  No matter how many of his friends showed him just why Santa couldn’t possibly be real, Jacob found it in his heart to believe.

It was getting awkward.  He was 8, and big for his age.  Nobody else in his class still believed.

It was 1999, and my husband, John, our 8 year old son Jacob and I were living in Geneva, Switzerland, where English language books were extremely expensive.  So naturally, in early December, Jacob’s teacher announced that the entire class needed to get a particular and particularly expensive dictionary by the beginning of 2000 for home use.  Locally it was tres cher.  But we found it for a reasonable price on Amazon.co.uk.  Being good parents, we ordered it.

It arrived two days before Christmas.  And on Christmas Eve, I wrapped it up.

“I’ll take the hit for this one,” I told my husband, knowing that Jacob would not appreciate getting a dictionary for Christmas.

“Nah,” said John.  “Mark it from Santa.”

I didn’t think much about it, but I followed John’s suggestion.  Santa had another gift for Jacob.

When Christmas morning arrived, Jacob got great gifts from Santa:  an electric car race track, skiis and one more present.

Feels like a book,” Jacob said, eagerly opening it.  And then he looked at the cover.

“There’s no such thing as Santa.”  Jacob cried.  “Santa would never have given me a dictionary.”

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Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Childhood Traumas, Family, Geneva Stories, Humor

Dystexia

Like most parents, I worry.

Will my son, Jacob, succeed in life?  Will he pass Spanish?  Will he become a useful member of society or will he remain in the basement until he is dragged off by the Health Department?

But today I learned that I have one more worry to add to the pile.  You see, now I have to analyze his text messages for clues about his health.

Shit.

Yup, it’s true.  Because today in an article I found on Reuters.com, I read that there is a new malady, called “Dystexia.”  It’s when a person texts back nonsense in response to a regular, ordinary question.  And it can involve a trip to the emergency room.

The article linked to above, talks about a husband who realized that there was something wrong with his pregnant wife when her texts didn’t make sense.  She was rushed to the hospital and they found out she had had a stroke.

Now if you have a child, aged 8 to 25, you’ve already figured out where I’m going with this.

Because personally, I think I’m going to start worrying when my son’s text messages start making sense. 

Text message 3

Unless, of course, he wants money.  Then I’ll be sure it’s him and that he’s broke in a whole different way.

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Filed under Childhood Traumas, Family, Health and Medicine, Humor

Elyse:

This post is guaranteed to De Grump anybody.

Originally posted on Life With The Top Down:

Christmas Decoration Design Team

Christmas Decoration Design Team

This time of year neighborhoods everywhere are beaming with Christmas displays, that are for the most part, entertaining for their beauty. Then there are those that provide a heavy dose of unintentional comedy. But, no one truly prepares us for those that leave us silently shaking our heads, as we ask ourselves some very pressing questions. Who came up with the idea of the hideous enormous inflatable holiday decorations that make absolutely no sense? Who are these creative geniuses that continue to test our level of Christmas tackiness?What happens behind that closed-door as the design team presents some of these brilliant ideas? 

Shut the door Kringle!

Shut the door Kringle!

Oh how I wish I were a fly on the wall when the Santa in an Outhouseidea hit the table. Did everyone gasp at the horror or did they ponder the thought “it’s so bad it might be…

View original 499 more words

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Bloggin’ Buddy Birthday

Rumor has it, that today is my bloggin’ buddy John Erickson’s birthday.  You know John, of Commentality.  Approximately 60 seconds after I first “met” John, he became the top commenter on my blog.  He is interested in a million things, particularly history, space travel and sci-fi movies, TV and likely books. John is quite well versed on stuff.  All kinds of stuff.  He is smart, funny, and sweet.  Not necessarily all at the same time though.  He spreads it out.

I will admit that John’s comments don’t necessarily make sense, but they are great for your statistics.  So encourage John.  Really.  You’ll be glad you did.

Now Ill tell you a secret.  Unlike most folks approaching the half-way mark, John has been a wee bit apprehensive about this birthday, because it is a biggie.  The Big 5-0.

Fifty.  Yup.

50

To welcome John into the Old-timers Blogging Group, I will play age appropriate music:

Still, I am pretty sure that John won’t go down without a fight.  Not a guy who has spent nearly 50 years studying military history.  He knows the details of every battle fought between 1412 and 1945, and just exactly how to load a flintlock.  Nope, John will never give up; he’ll never surrender.  (He could use a Coke and a couple of Advil, though.)  Here is a clip of a younger John taken from some important “Historical Documents.”  Only they couldn’t get the goat in the picture.

By Grapthar’s Hammer, John, I’m wishing you the Happiest of Birthdays.  And I am wishing you health, wealth and good cheer for all the years to come.

But just like me, you ARE  gettin’ gross.  But I’m pretty sure you can deal with it!  But to soften the blow, if it’s OK with Frank of AFrankAngle I will be happy to use my newly acquired Queenly powers to knight you.

Arise, Sir John. I command you to celebrate!

*     *     *

Other bloggers joining the love fest:  Visit these other birthday tributes: Fasab, Frank, Gaupo, Weebs, Doggy, Jamie, Brainrants, Benzeknees, Archon

List cheerfully stolen from Frank.

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Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Criminal Activity, Dogs, History, Humor, Word Press