He’ll Never Guess

This year, John and I are toning way down on gifts.  Money is a bit tight, and we have a house full of the junk from Christmases past.  We really don’t need any more.

So I’ve been trying to figure out something fun and different to give John this year.  He’s so hard to buy for.  He has plenty of clothes, electronics, crap.  He’s asked for a few nice books, and I’ll be glad to get them.  But I’ve been trying to figure out something different.  Unusual.  Unique.  A gift he’ll never forget.

You’ll be happy to learn that while reading the news today, I found it.  And it’s to die for.

I’m getting my husband a calendar.  Well, not just any calendar.  Nope.  He’s getting:

The Linder Coffin Calendar 

A calendar of coffins and cuties.

Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?

Have you ever seen anything like it?  I didn’t think so.  Here’s a link to the rest of the 2012 lineup.

Surprisingly, there’s apparently quite a ruckus over in Poland about this calendar.  Would you believe it, the Catholic Church is peeved.  They think that it is disrespectful.  The article I read said:

A church spokesman has said that human death should be treated with solemnity and not mixed up with sex.

 You know, I’m beginning to think those bishops and cardinals just don’t get sex!

Still, we’re not Catholic, so we don’t have to worry.  Beside’s I’m pretty sure John will love his calendar.  He certainly won’t be able to guess what it is.


Filed under Books, Family, Fashion, Health and Medicine, Humor

66 responses to “He’ll Never Guess

  1. Pingback: Sunshine Blogger Award! | rarasaur

  2. Fabulous! We’ve just been talking about how to skip gifts and still keep the “anticipation” fun of Christmas. Can’t think of anything that keeps a man anticipating more than a crazy calendar like this. You’re a creative (and generous) wife!!!

    • My husband would just die if I actually got it for him! We do however try to get each other something rather absurd for Christmas. It’s the best part!

  3. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say superb blog!

  4. …and you can write in the card “Enjoy one part of this too much and you’ll need the other”.

    • If he enjoys the coffin to much he’ll need a cutie? Did I get the order right, Guap?

      • Possibly.
        Wow, Mr And A Half has some…unusual proclivities…

        • He would die if he knew you’d called him that!!! It’s hilarious.

          Actually Mr. AndAHalf wouldn’t be at all interested in the calendar. He never looks at anyone else and has never once told me of another woman he finds attractive. I’ve been trying to get him to for 27 years now, failing miserably.

          He also claims to have never had a girlfriend before me. I know he’s lying on that one. Ahem. About that one.

  5. I find this completely shocking. You mean to tell me that your husband doesn’t read your blog?

    • He tries not to encourage blogging as he would prefer I spend my time writing best selling novels so that he can retire.

      He reads it often enough so that I do not grouse about him on it, but not so often that I can’t make fun of him there. It’s a good compromise.

  6. Wow, ladies adorned in body paint hawking coffins; what a way to go…

    Safe to say that Purgatory was holding a recruitment drive…?

  7. Michelle Gillies

    Has anyone else said they are “just dying” for one of these? No, I thought not. That would be too easy.

  8. Hmmm. Just when I thought I must have seen it all ;)

    • Ah, PW, the world is a strange and wonderful place full of really weird stuff. I do seem to find much of it, though, don’t I!

      Nice to see you back in the sphere — I am off to read your post now!

  9. I think everyone should get a little something something when they die. Of course….the person “sticking it to them” is a real sicko.

  10. Hahahaha! Omg, you crack me up, Elyse!! What a thoughtful wife you are =P

    And seriously, what’s up with those bishops? No sense of humour, geez.

  11. Just before heading off to bed I read your post and thought coffins and cuties a hilarious idea and i continued to laugh reading all the comments and replies – well done! Am now jumping in the coffin and closing the lid for the night.

  12. twindaddy

    I STILL don’t see a coffin in that picture…

  13. Look at it this way. For years, they’ve used hot chicks to sell the kind of cars that would kill most people trying to drive them. So – they just eliminated the middle man. :D
    I guess it wouldn’t just be the coffin that had wood…… ;)

  14. Snoring Dog Studio

    Death and Sex. They often do go together, so this isn’t that odd.

  15. A very functional calendar! BTW … don’t forget the nested dolls.

  16. It happened….I’m speechless. A part of me is grateful however that she is not in the coffin with luring eyes. The Christmas morning photo shoot would be classic!

    • You’re welcome, Tops. When I read the article, that was my impression — that she was inside it. And the picture (and the ones in the link) is from the 2012 calendar. I think the Church is so flipped out because this year’s may go farther. Sadly, they don’t have samples!

  17. Hilarious! and I love benzeknees comment, too.

  18. “You know, I’m beginning to think those bishops and cardinals just don’t get sex!” Literally!

  19. Slim and sleek! He’ll never guess, I like it.

  20. I don’t know whether to call it morbid or awesome, so…. Let’s go with this: It’s morbidly awesome and awesomely morbid! :D

  21. That is sheer genius. I’m jealous.

  22. I think MM has it right. Focus on something else besides the grim reaper. Sheesh…I actually worked with someone when I was in my 30’s (and he was younger than me) who had already bought his cemetery plot. Who does that? I’m organized…but I wasn’t that organized in my 30’s.

    • You’re right, Georgette. Focusing on things other than death is a good thing! But buying your cemetery plot in you’re 30s? My my. I rarely get enough groceries ahead of time!

  23. Haha! This is fabulous! Just enough “horribly wrong” to be “perfectly delightful”. :)

  24. He may never even see the coffins.

Play nice, please.

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