Idiot Wind

Damn it!  My most recent pipe dream has just come crashing down around my ears.

You know, the one where I become a wildly successful, NY Times bestselling novelist because of the incredible stories I make up out of a combination of thin air, personal experience and plagiarism?

Yeah, that dream.

And it came crashing down because I must accept the fact that life is so much more colorful than anything I could make up.  Yup, life is just wayyyyyy more exciting than my stories.   Real life, especially during the runup to an election in the United States is in fact, completely surreal.

So don’t be rushin’ around to the bookstore.  You’ll be disappointed.

What was it that forced reality into my otherwise happy existence?

Naturally, it was something I read.  And while I am still drooling in shock, I am just not quite sure what it all means.  I mean, how will things turn out?  Because you see, I just read, that the women’s vote, which I’ve been counting on to get Obama over the edge, will be determined by where women are in their menstrual cycle.   I had thought that, well, thought might play a role.  But I guess not.

Apparently, it’s true.  It’s been studied!  So it must be right, right?

First of all, you won’t hear me comment on the fact that this study was conducted in Texas.  Nope.  Not one word.  Total and absolute silence on the study’s lone star status.

The study was conducted by Kristina Durante at U of T.

 

Jimmy Durante and Pumpkin

The study presented the results of an internet survey of 502 women with regular menstrual cycles and who were not using hormone-based contraceptives (the pill, the patch and the like).

The researchers found that during the fertile time of the month, when levels of the hormone estrogen are high, single women appeared more likely to vote for Obama and committed women appeared more likely to vote for Romney, by a margin of at least 20%, Durante said. This seems to be the driver behind the researchers’ overall observation that single women were inclined toward Obama and committed women leaned toward Romney.  [Yeah, that’s my emphasis. How could I let you miss that gem?]

That’s ’cause, according to Durante (Kristina not Jimmy), women are feeling sexier, which of course makes them sluttier in my mind or, in Durante’s it makes them:

“lean more toward liberal attitudes on abortion and marriage equality.”

In other important research, Durante has also studied your period’s impact on other vital decisions, like your shopping choices.

When you go to Vote,

Go feeling really slutty

Vote a Straight Democratic Ticket!

*     *     *

I found this fascinating information on Daily Kos, where I find some of the best stuff.  They found it at CNN!  Yup, CNN, “The Most Trusted Name In News!”  For some reason, though, CNN took down the link.

But here is the link Kos provided.  Cause you really don’t want to miss this one.

You’re welcome.

43 Comments

Filed under Books, Campaigning, Criminal Activity, Elections, Family, Humor, Law, Politics, Science, Stupidity, Voting

43 responses to “Idiot Wind

  1. Should I be worried that my wife prefers Obama?

  2. Well I may not have an estrogen cycle, but I feel really slutty ALL the time, so you KNOW that I’ll be voting for Obama!

    If Kristina Durante is the progeny of Jimmy, well then I wish that Jimmy had worn his raincoat in the shower more often!

    Thanks for such an appropriate song selection – it’s perfect for your post, and as I’m listening to it right now, I am being reminded that it’s been too long since I’ve listened to my Dylan albums, and I think I’ll soon be playing them again today.

    • I love that Dylan song. It is often running through my head during election season or whenever I am thinking about the stupid things the GOP is doing!

      • I love that Dylan song too. I love Dylan’s music and I love Dylan too – Cause playing Bobby Dylan has probably gotten me laid more often than the music of any other artist ever! :-D

        Hey… turn that frown upside down into a smile, Elyse! I’m just having some fun feeling slutty again, so I’ll work extra hard in New Hampshire on election day to get out the vote for Obama! Lol :-)

        • Ok. I will get rid of the frown. But I always reserve the right to roll my eyes at your comments.

          • Duly noted and understood, Elyse. So go ahead and exercise your right to roll those eyes! :-) BTW, I really DO love Dylan’s music, I have many albums to prove it, and my love of Dylan’s music has very little to do with that whole “feeling slutty” thing. For real. Lol – I was just doing a little cage rattling with that comment (since my wife keeps me in one) and now I will leave you in peace, because it’s time to celebrate my Mom’s B-day, and there will be hell to pay if I’m late! So this “idiot wind” is now blowing away! Lol :-D

  3. Snoring Dog Studio

    Gotta use that Idiot Wind for an alternative energy source. We could power the globe this election season!

  4. Michelle Gillies

    Did anyone bother to do a study on how sexually aroused men vote as opposed to … let’s say … not sexually aroused men vote? Could be interesting as we all know what they think with perhaps that is what they vote with as well. Just saying.

    • The article does say this:

      “One of the major caveats this paper fails to address is that men also have biochemical changes, Kellstedt said.

      “The reader may be left with the impression that women are unstable and moody in ways that extend to their political preferences, but that men are comparative Rocks of Gibraltar,” Kellstedt said in an e-mail.

      Kellstedt does not study biology, but he has been involved in research suggesting that men’s political preferences are even more volatile than women’s.”

      Ya think that men can have volatile reactions to things?????

  5. Fascinating study.
    Looking for to the campaign advertising this one spawns.

    • Shhhh. I don’t think I could stomach Ann Romney telling me and the rest of the girls that we are just acting on hormones. I would vomit and then figure out a way to slap Ann with a large Tuna.

      • That’s what you would do?!?!

        (Because I just heard Ann say that her happiest memories are scraping by barefoot and poolside at the family compound in Michigan in her 20s, and every young lady should get back to those good old days.)

        Slap away!

        • Oh lord, did she really? You’re not just bs’in me? Lord get me that tuna. Please. Please. Please

          The thing about Ann is that she says as many assholic things as her husband does. And she is equally oblivious. Lord help us, they WILL NOT WIN!

          • Gah. Your agitation forces me to admit that she didn’t actually say that.
            And me admitting that jsut proves how bad I would be at politics.

            Obama should win,and the third thing he should do (behind tax reform and obamacare) should be dismantling and rebuilding the political system.
            It will never happen, but still…

            • Getting folks onto the Supreme court that would get rid of Citizens United. THAT would be wonderful!

              Glad I didn’t believe the quote, exactly. But it is sooooo close to her “we were poor when we were living off our stock interest” that you never know!

              You’d be a great politician — different though.

  6. Same to you. Just finished removing anything that could turn into a rocket through our windows from the wind and made sure the sump pump was ready. Now we wait. Stay safe as well. (After the past several years living here, if someone says to me they think global warming is a hoax, I’m going to smack them!)

  7. Oh for God’s sake, the stupidity that is posing itself as “science” in this election against women is enough to make one vomit! Sheesh, what a riot. But just in case, I’ll be sure to show up on election day lookin’ hot to trot! Thanks for the warning.

  8. SLUT SLUT SLUT…..Gad, I knew all those years ago would come in handy! Hurrah for me practice makes perfect. Let me just go get my stripper shoes and my push up bra (I have a lot to push up) and something to emphasize my assets.

    Ya know I love Texas, it is the home of my heart. But really sometimes it is just embarrassing.

    • Well Val, you look JUST right in that outfit! Rush should see you now!

      As for Texas, I was just jerking you and a few other friends — I couldn’t resist. But I know several people from U of T at Austin and they have all been brilliant. Truly.

      I was very slutty myself today. I voted!

  9. So, basically, the study says women are ruled by their hormones, not rational thinking. I can dig it. It’s true in some cases. Sometimes not. But I don’t know why they would conduct such a study about an election. Seems strange. That maybe something deeper is going on with these women should their period decide how they vote. I have some conservative views but that didn’t make me vote for Romney. I don’t feel slutty about how I voted either. Some studies are pretty useless.

    • You think, Tots? You think this is one of those useless studies? Yeah, probably right. Now the one Durante did about shopping … ;).

      This sort of thing just gives Rush Limbaugh something to talk about. .

  10. Guess I’m feeling sexy……..

  11. Just another perk to being a slut, I’ll add it to my list.

  12. I am proud to be a complete slut. Have been all my life.

  13. I heard about this, Elyse. What year are we in? What is the next study–brain size of women and their propensity to be CEO’s?

    Well, Obama is safe as far as I’m concerned. I’m on HRT and I’m living with a guy that get’s my heart a thumpin’.

    I think I’ll bring a boom box with me to my polling site, play some Barry White, and dress for Democratic success. Even with a torn butt, I may be able to manage to swing some voters! ;)

    “Scientific” study, indeed!

  14. University of Texas? This wouldn’t happen to be the University of NORTH Texas, whose brilliant leadership decided to set up a campus radio station using the initials of the university’s name for its’ call sign? (Hint: stations WEST of the Mississippi start with the letter K, and the school’s acronym was UNT.) Somebody finally realised the … “problem” .. and decided it could be the radio station of the Northern University of Texas. Better a KNUT than a ….. well, you know. (True story, or so a Texas resident claimed. :D )
    Gives new meaning to “Romney’s a douche”, don’t it? ;z0

    • Actually, this is U of T at Austin. And I know from personal experience that there are right AND liberal folks there — I know some!

      As for the acronym, a new university was being built near my parents in Florida. It was going to be called Florida Gulf Univ. but the name was changed for similar reasons!

  15. I feel like this could be turned into a Cathy cartoon.

  16. Good thing I feel slutty all the time because I’m no longer of fertile age.

Play nice, please.

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